2009年8月30日 下午4點06分36秒Lud dup..lup dup

....can u hear my heartbeat?... It has died down awhile..well it has been some time since I last wrote here. So comes the end of my prp. Indeed whether I could remain in Selayang anot, I am excited. That I am going to face something new. If it is Teluk Intan, then it will be good. Or else, in Selangor not bad too. If sabah sarawak, God knows why He send me there.

    Yesterday was the PRP annual project presentation and awards giving ceremony. We had guests to be our judges and they were 4 screwdrivers that screwed us throughly, just like Simon in American Idol. Boy, I felt, even if I win, it means nothing. Is just the better one out of the equally bad. Nothing to be proud about. However, I treasure such event, as I learn alot indeed. I was surprised we landed at 3rd place, and our poster won the first prize, though I was disappointed that the prizes are not in cash.

     They even had awards like best performance award for us. I was very honoured to receive the award. At least, I feel I can make USM proud. I recalled when I first started in OPD. I did such a huge mistake, that made me hopeless and unforgivable. Who will do that, when I myself cannot accept myself? 10 months later, things were totally changed. I was glad to be given the second chance, to learn from my mistake, to be able to move on, and make a difference. Is my goal to acheive that.

      They also prepared slideshows for us. I feel so appreciated.:0) Selayang Hospital memang poyo! Hehe

      I was given hints about moving out. Honestly, one part of me used to plan for that. To move to somewhere this person belongs. But another part, my heart is not ready. It is something spontaneous that drives you to go. Unfortunately now, I do not have the driving force and strenght to move. I do not have the assurance, the security. Feelings is like a flower, it depends on how much u spend time to nurture and water. Then it will slowly grow. Right now, it is not blossoming, and I hope is not withering..

     I cannot possibly let go everything here. This is where I belong, this is my secured place where I have my family and friends, where I have churchlife which help to soothe my loneliness. Unless it is proven otherwise, unless the feeling blossomed so strongly, I cannot easily let these go.

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2009年4月18日 下午3點46分40秒Snow White and 7 Dwarfs

Finished Clinical Marathon. Finished halfway of fussy Drug Info. Finished Manufacturing. Now, preparing to enter into OPD. Well, though OPD is the easiest, but it is something I dread cos of my past experience.

Manufacturing was a honeymoon to me after 2 months of goin home after 8pm and 1 month of skipping my 2 hours fri lunch. Sometimes, I bit myself for being paid RM126.667/ day to stick labels on bottles or squeezing cream from its container or filling bottles with syrups. My senior chek nam, was my rescue to my care--free attachment. Mind you that ...

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2009年2月8日 下午2點23分14秒Defeated and subdued

I woke up, brush my teeth. Saw in the mirror- a defeated me. I wish I could wake up with the same enthusiasm when it just started. But so many things happened, I feel I could no longer find the strength to face it with a hopeful thots. I have given up. However, in such situations, I feel I am humbled by the Lord. Only then did I reflect my past, with such pride towards others. Now, I am able to feel what hurt is like so that I won't hurt others. Coz nobody wants to be the last one there. I recalled how I have reached where I am. I remembered how the ...

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