禮物
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留言本
2009年7月11日 14:31Re: hi
salamaulikum Every body
Lets have some nice jokes
=====================
======================================
Majic ........
Try it and find reason?????????????
????????????????????????????
????????????????????????????
MAGIC #1
Nobody can create a FOLDER anywhere
on the computer which can be named as "CON".
This is something pretty cool...and unbelievable...
At Microsoft the whole Team, couldn't answer why this happened!
TRY IT NOW, IT WILL NOT CREATE " CON " FOLDER
MAGIC #2
Microsoft crazy facts
This is something pretty cool and neat...and unbelievable...
At Microsoft the whole Team, including Bill Gates, couldn't answer why this happened!
It was discovered by a Brazilian. Try it out yourself...
Open Microsoft Word and type
=rand (200, 99)
and then press ENTER
===================================================
====================================================
George Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk, he offers question time.
One little boy puts up his hand and George asked, What is your name?
Bob
And what is your question, Bob?
I have 3 questions.
First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, why are you president when Al Gore got more votes?
Third, what happened to Osama bin laden?
Just then, the bell rings for recess.
George bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.
When they resume George says, Ok where were we?
Oh, that's right. Question time. Who has a question?
A different little boy raises his hand.
George points him out and asked him what is your name?
Steve
And what is your question Steve?
I have 5 questions.
First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of UN?
Second, why are you president when Al Gore got more votes?
Third, what happened to Osama bin laden?
Fourth, why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early?
Fifth, where is Bob?
its old but one can still enjoy
hahahaahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
======================================
=================================================
Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK?
Let's find out just how clever you really are.
Ready? GO!!! (scroll down slowly)
First Question:
You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are
absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!
Try not to screw up in the next question.
To answer the second question, don't take as much time as you took for the first question!
Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?
You're not very good at this! Are you?
Third Question:
Very tricky math! Note: This must be done in your head only.
Do NOT use paper! and pencil or a calculator. Try it.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000
Now add 10. What is the total?
Scroll down for answer.
Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100.
Don't believe it? Check with your calculator! Today is definitely not your day. Maybe you will get the last question right?!
Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini,
4. Nono.
What is the name of the fifth daughter?
Answer: Nunu?
NO! Of course not. Her name is Mary. Read the question again
Okay, now the bonus round.!
There is a mute person who wants to buy a toothbrush. By
imitating the action of brushing one's teeth he successfully
expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is
done.
Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of
sunglasses, how should he express himself?
He just has to open his mouth and ask, so simple.
KEEP THIS GOING TO FRUSTRATE THE SMART PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE!
=====================
hahhahahhaahahhahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
=====================================
=====================================================
A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.
The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.'
The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.
The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again.
I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.'
The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.
So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!... the husband became 92 years old.
-
-
-
--
-
--
-
--
-
-
--
-
---
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful should remember.... fairies are female too!
hahahaahheheehehhhhheeeheeeeeeeeeeeeeee
=================================
An older lady gets pulled over for speeding....
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car.. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
============================
=
MORAL:
Don't Mess With Little Old Ladies
hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
==================================
===================================
Once all the scientists die and go to heaven. They decide to play hide-n-seek
Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den......... ..He is supposed to count upto 100...and then start searching... ..
Everyone starts hiding except Newton...... ...
Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front of Einstein.
Einstein's counting 1,2,3......97, 98,99.... .100..... ... He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front....... .
Einstein says " newton's out..newton' s out....."
Newton denies and says "I am not out........I am not Newton...... "
All the scientists come out to see how he proves that he is not Newton.
Newton says "I am standing in a square of area 1m squared..... That makes me Newton per meter squared..... . Since one Newton per meter squared is one Pascal, I'm Pascal, Therefore Pascal is OUT.....
====================================
A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the Head with a frying pan.
"What was that for?" the man asked.
The wife replied "That was for the piece of paper with the name Julie on it that I found in your pants pocket".
The man then said "When I was at the races last week Julie was the name of the horse I bet on"
The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.
Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.
Wife replied. "Your horse called up !!!!"
======================================
========================================
A Bihari hat-seller was passing by a forest when he decided to take a nap under a tree. He left his whole basket of hats by his side and dozed off. A few hours later, he woke up and realized that all his hats were gone. He looked up and to his surprise, the tree was full of monkeys and they had taken all his hats. The Bihari sat down and thought how he could get his hats back. While thinking, he started to scratch his head. The next moment, the monkeys were doing the same. Next, he took off his own hat, and the monkeys did exactly the same. An idea struck him - he threw his hat onto the ground and the monkeys did that too. Thus, he managed to get all his hats back.
Fifty years later, his grandson, Laloo, who also was into the family business selling hats, had heard of this amazing monkey story from his grandfather. One day, just as his grandfather had done, he passed by the same forest. It was a quite hot day and the journey seemed tiring. He placed the basket of hats on the ground and decided to take a nap under that same old tree. He woke up and realized that all his hats were stolen by the monkeys on the tree. He remembered his grandfather's story, and started scratching his head. The monkeys followed suit. He took off his hat and fanned himself and again the monkeys were doing the same. Now, very convinced of his grandfather's idea, Laloo threw his hat onto the ground but to his surprise, the monkeys still held on to the hats. Then one small monkey climbed down the tree, grabbed the hat lying on the ground, gave Laloo a slap and said.......................
and you think only you have a grandfather?
============================================
============================
A little boy wanted Rs. 500 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened.
Finally , he decided to write a letter to GOD requesting the Rs. 500. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to " God , India ", they decided to forward it to the Finance Minister of India as a joke.
The Finance Minister was so amused, that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy Rs.200. The Finance Minister thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy, and he did not want to spoil the kid.
The little boy was delighted with Rs.200, and decided to write a thanking reply note to God, which reads:
"Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that you sent it through the Finance Ministry in New Delhi, and those donkeys deducted Rs. 300 as taxes!"
===============================
=========================================
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their
cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man,
That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing
left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and
be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days".
Flattered, the man replied, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely!
"This must be a sign from God!"
The woman continued, "and look at this, here's another miracle. My car is
completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants
us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."
Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement,
opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands
it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police.
=============================================
==================================================
The young wife was in tears when she opened the door for her
husband. "I've been insulted," she sobbed. "Your mother insulted me."
"My mother!" he exclaimed. "But she is a hundred miles away."
"I know, but a letter came for you this morning and I opened it."
He looked stern, "I see, but where does the insult come in?"
"In the postscript," she answered. "It said: 'Dear Alice, don't
forget to give this letter to George.'"
========================================
=================================================
Employees of a Company are all worried. Some are roaming around. Some are in
loud discussions during office time.....
Some Trainees, who had just joined, notice this and enquire about what happened
to a senior employee, they ask, "What's going on?"
"Terrorists have kidnapped our Boss"
They're asking for Rs.10 Crores ransom, otherwise they're going to
douse him with petrol and set him on fire.
We're going from desk to desk, taking up a collection."
One Trainee asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"About 1 litre."
=======================================
==============================================
A little girl asked her mother,
"How did the human race appear?"
The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so was all mankind made."
Two days later she asked her father the same question. The father answered, "Many years
ago there were monkeys from which the human race was developed."
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that
you told me that the human race was created by God and Papa says they were
developed from monkeys?"
The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about the origin of my side of the family and your father told you about his side.
============================================
A man was walking along a California beach when he stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it. Out popped a genie.
The genie said, "Okay, okay...you released me from the lamp, blah blah blah blah blah! This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three of them. You only get one wish!"
The man sat and thought about it for a while. Finally, he said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"
The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible. Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete...how much steel! No. Think of another wish."
The man said okay and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women...know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment...know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say 'nothing'...know how to make them truly happy."
The genie said, "You want that bridge with two lanes or four?"
========================================
=========================================
============================================
My Personal message :
plz start reading (Bilbe/Quran or whatever is your book) with translation and understanding. Let be a good believer. Change yourself today and you can change the world
Lets enjoy our lives being good believers.
Think Differently
==================================
====================================
Dear Broz/Sistrz,
Kindly Visit the following links please
http://www.quranurdu.com/
http://www.quranenglish.com/
http://www.esnips.com/_t_/urdu+novels+pdf?q=urdu+novels+pdf
http://www.harunyahya.com/en.m_book_index.php
http://www.esnips.com/web/seezahir-IslamicBooks
http://www.esnips.com/web/urdu-kitabcha/
Well - My dear broz & Sistrz, Above given a re the trusted websites for very good Urdu material (islamic & Novels also)(For example you can get Tafseer Ibne kathir/Sahi Bukhari & Muslim/novels of differents writers and many more books in Faith related and other issues)
If somebody interested in all this and unable to download, kindly contact me and I can send them CDz with all this stuff INSHALLAH
Lets have some nice jokes
=====================
======================================
Majic ........
Try it and find reason?????????????
????????????????????????????
????????????????????????????
MAGIC #1
Nobody can create a FOLDER anywhere
on the computer which can be named as "CON".
This is something pretty cool...and unbelievable...
At Microsoft the whole Team, couldn't answer why this happened!
TRY IT NOW, IT WILL NOT CREATE " CON " FOLDER
MAGIC #2
Microsoft crazy facts
This is something pretty cool and neat...and unbelievable...
At Microsoft the whole Team, including Bill Gates, couldn't answer why this happened!
It was discovered by a Brazilian. Try it out yourself...
Open Microsoft Word and type
=rand (200, 99)
and then press ENTER
===================================================
====================================================
George Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk, he offers question time.
One little boy puts up his hand and George asked, What is your name?
Bob
And what is your question, Bob?
I have 3 questions.
First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, why are you president when Al Gore got more votes?
Third, what happened to Osama bin laden?
Just then, the bell rings for recess.
George bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.
When they resume George says, Ok where were we?
Oh, that's right. Question time. Who has a question?
A different little boy raises his hand.
George points him out and asked him what is your name?
Steve
And what is your question Steve?
I have 5 questions.
First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of UN?
Second, why are you president when Al Gore got more votes?
Third, what happened to Osama bin laden?
Fourth, why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early?
Fifth, where is Bob?
its old but one can still enjoy
hahahaahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
======================================
=================================================
Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK?
Let's find out just how clever you really are.
Ready? GO!!! (scroll down slowly)
First Question:
You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are
absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!
Try not to screw up in the next question.
To answer the second question, don't take as much time as you took for the first question!
Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?
You're not very good at this! Are you?
Third Question:
Very tricky math! Note: This must be done in your head only.
Do NOT use paper! and pencil or a calculator. Try it.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000
Now add 10. What is the total?
Scroll down for answer.
Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100.
Don't believe it? Check with your calculator! Today is definitely not your day. Maybe you will get the last question right?!
Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini,
4. Nono.
What is the name of the fifth daughter?
Answer: Nunu?
NO! Of course not. Her name is Mary. Read the question again
Okay, now the bonus round.!
There is a mute person who wants to buy a toothbrush. By
imitating the action of brushing one's teeth he successfully
expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is
done.
Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of
sunglasses, how should he express himself?
He just has to open his mouth and ask, so simple.
KEEP THIS GOING TO FRUSTRATE THE SMART PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE!
=====================
hahhahahhaahahhahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
=====================================
=====================================================
A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.
The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.'
The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.
The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again.
I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.'
The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.
So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!... the husband became 92 years old.
-
-
-
--
-
--
-
--
-
-
--
-
---
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful should remember.... fairies are female too!
hahahaahheheehehhhhheeeheeeeeeeeeeeeeee
=================================
An older lady gets pulled over for speeding....
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car.. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
============================
=
MORAL:
Don't Mess With Little Old Ladies
hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
==================================
===================================
Once all the scientists die and go to heaven. They decide to play hide-n-seek
Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den......... ..He is supposed to count upto 100...and then start searching... ..
Everyone starts hiding except Newton...... ...
Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front of Einstein.
Einstein's counting 1,2,3......97, 98,99.... .100..... ... He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front....... .
Einstein says " newton's out..newton' s out....."
Newton denies and says "I am not out........I am not Newton...... "
All the scientists come out to see how he proves that he is not Newton.
Newton says "I am standing in a square of area 1m squared..... That makes me Newton per meter squared..... . Since one Newton per meter squared is one Pascal, I'm Pascal, Therefore Pascal is OUT.....
====================================
A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the Head with a frying pan.
"What was that for?" the man asked.
The wife replied "That was for the piece of paper with the name Julie on it that I found in your pants pocket".
The man then said "When I was at the races last week Julie was the name of the horse I bet on"
The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.
Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.
Wife replied. "Your horse called up !!!!"
======================================
========================================
A Bihari hat-seller was passing by a forest when he decided to take a nap under a tree. He left his whole basket of hats by his side and dozed off. A few hours later, he woke up and realized that all his hats were gone. He looked up and to his surprise, the tree was full of monkeys and they had taken all his hats. The Bihari sat down and thought how he could get his hats back. While thinking, he started to scratch his head. The next moment, the monkeys were doing the same. Next, he took off his own hat, and the monkeys did exactly the same. An idea struck him - he threw his hat onto the ground and the monkeys did that too. Thus, he managed to get all his hats back.
Fifty years later, his grandson, Laloo, who also was into the family business selling hats, had heard of this amazing monkey story from his grandfather. One day, just as his grandfather had done, he passed by the same forest. It was a quite hot day and the journey seemed tiring. He placed the basket of hats on the ground and decided to take a nap under that same old tree. He woke up and realized that all his hats were stolen by the monkeys on the tree. He remembered his grandfather's story, and started scratching his head. The monkeys followed suit. He took off his hat and fanned himself and again the monkeys were doing the same. Now, very convinced of his grandfather's idea, Laloo threw his hat onto the ground but to his surprise, the monkeys still held on to the hats. Then one small monkey climbed down the tree, grabbed the hat lying on the ground, gave Laloo a slap and said.......................
and you think only you have a grandfather?
============================================
============================
A little boy wanted Rs. 500 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened.
Finally , he decided to write a letter to GOD requesting the Rs. 500. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to " God , India ", they decided to forward it to the Finance Minister of India as a joke.
The Finance Minister was so amused, that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy Rs.200. The Finance Minister thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy, and he did not want to spoil the kid.
The little boy was delighted with Rs.200, and decided to write a thanking reply note to God, which reads:
"Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that you sent it through the Finance Ministry in New Delhi, and those donkeys deducted Rs. 300 as taxes!"
===============================
=========================================
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their
cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man,
That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing
left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and
be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days".
Flattered, the man replied, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely!
"This must be a sign from God!"
The woman continued, "and look at this, here's another miracle. My car is
completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants
us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."
Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement,
opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands
it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police.
=============================================
==================================================
The young wife was in tears when she opened the door for her
husband. "I've been insulted," she sobbed. "Your mother insulted me."
"My mother!" he exclaimed. "But she is a hundred miles away."
"I know, but a letter came for you this morning and I opened it."
He looked stern, "I see, but where does the insult come in?"
"In the postscript," she answered. "It said: 'Dear Alice, don't
forget to give this letter to George.'"
========================================
=================================================
Employees of a Company are all worried. Some are roaming around. Some are in
loud discussions during office time.....
Some Trainees, who had just joined, notice this and enquire about what happened
to a senior employee, they ask, "What's going on?"
"Terrorists have kidnapped our Boss"
They're asking for Rs.10 Crores ransom, otherwise they're going to
douse him with petrol and set him on fire.
We're going from desk to desk, taking up a collection."
One Trainee asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"About 1 litre."
=======================================
==============================================
A little girl asked her mother,
"How did the human race appear?"
The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so was all mankind made."
Two days later she asked her father the same question. The father answered, "Many years
ago there were monkeys from which the human race was developed."
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that
you told me that the human race was created by God and Papa says they were
developed from monkeys?"
The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about the origin of my side of the family and your father told you about his side.
============================================
A man was walking along a California beach when he stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it. Out popped a genie.
The genie said, "Okay, okay...you released me from the lamp, blah blah blah blah blah! This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three of them. You only get one wish!"
The man sat and thought about it for a while. Finally, he said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"
The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible. Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete...how much steel! No. Think of another wish."
The man said okay and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women...know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment...know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say 'nothing'...know how to make them truly happy."
The genie said, "You want that bridge with two lanes or four?"
========================================
=========================================
============================================
My Personal message :
plz start reading (Bilbe/Quran or whatever is your book) with translation and understanding. Let be a good believer. Change yourself today and you can change the world
Lets enjoy our lives being good believers.
Think Differently
==================================
====================================
Dear Broz/Sistrz,
Kindly Visit the following links please
http://www.quranurdu.com/
http://www.quranenglish.com/
http://www.esnips.com/_t_/urdu+novels+pdf?q=urdu+novels+pdf
http://www.harunyahya.com/en.m_book_index.php
http://www.esnips.com/web/seezahir-IslamicBooks
http://www.esnips.com/web/urdu-kitabcha/
Well - My dear broz & Sistrz, Above given a re the trusted websites for very good Urdu material (islamic & Novels also)(For example you can get Tafseer Ibne kathir/Sahi Bukhari & Muslim/novels of differents writers and many more books in Faith related and other issues)
If somebody interested in all this and unable to download, kindly contact me and I can send them CDz with all this stuff INSHALLAH
2009年3月21日 17:41hello sweet
bbk077
41, 達蘭, 沙烏地阿拉伯
hello sweet
hi my dear
me ...maher mail 37 saudi arabia interested in a good friendship
welcome to be my friend
tell me about ur style
u may add me to msn or yahoo messenger so
we chat togther if u wish :
bbk077@yahoo.com
also u can call me direct on my mobile
00966 553471000
thanx
With My best wishes
maher
hi my dear
me ...maher mail 37 saudi arabia interested in a good friendship
welcome to be my friend
tell me about ur style
u may add me to msn or yahoo messenger so
we chat togther if u wish :
bbk077@yahoo.com
also u can call me direct on my mobile
00966 553471000
thanx
With My best wishes
maher
2009年7月5日 5:44Re: albalord34
salamaulikum Every body
Lets have some nice jokes
=====================
======================================
Majic ........
Try it and find reason?????????????
????????????????????????????
????????????????????????????
MAGIC #1
Nobody can create a FOLDER anywhere
on the computer which can be named as "CON".
This is something pretty cool...and unbelievable...
At Microsoft the whole Team, couldn't answer why this happened!
TRY IT NOW, IT WILL NOT CREATE " CON " FOLDER
MAGIC #2
Microsoft crazy facts
This is something pretty cool and neat...and unbelievable...
At Microsoft the whole Team, including Bill Gates, couldn't answer why this happened!
It was discovered by a Brazilian. Try it out yourself...
Open Microsoft Word and type
=rand (200, 99)
and then press ENTER
===================================================
====================================================
George Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk, he offers question time.
One little boy puts up his hand and George asked, What is your name?
Bob
And what is your question, Bob?
I have 3 questions.
First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, why are you president when Al Gore got more votes?
Third, what happened to Osama bin laden?
Just then, the bell rings for recess.
George bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.
When they resume George says, Ok where were we?
Oh, that's right. Question time. Who has a question?
A different little boy raises his hand.
George points him out and asked him what is your name?
Steve
And what is your question Steve?
I have 5 questions.
First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of UN?
Second, why are you president when Al Gore got more votes?
Third, what happened to Osama bin laden?
Fourth, why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early?
Fifth, where is Bob?
its old but one can still enjoy
hahahaahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
======================================
=================================================
Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK?
Let's find out just how clever you really are.
Ready? GO!!! (scroll down slowly)
First Question:
You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are
absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!
Try not to screw up in the next question.
To answer the second question, don't take as much time as you took for the first question!
Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?
You're not very good at this! Are you?
Third Question:
Very tricky math! Note: This must be done in your head only.
Do NOT use paper! and pencil or a calculator. Try it.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000
Now add 10. What is the total?
Scroll down for answer.
Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100.
Don't believe it? Check with your calculator! Today is definitely not your day. Maybe you will get the last question right?!
Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini,
4. Nono.
What is the name of the fifth daughter?
Answer: Nunu?
NO! Of course not. Her name is Mary. Read the question again
Okay, now the bonus round.!
There is a mute person who wants to buy a toothbrush. By
imitating the action of brushing one's teeth he successfully
expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is
done.
Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of
sunglasses, how should he express himself?
He just has to open his mouth and ask, so simple.
KEEP THIS GOING TO FRUSTRATE THE SMART PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE!
=====================
hahhahahhaahahhahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
=====================================
=====================================================
A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.
The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.'
The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.
The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again.
I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.'
The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.
So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!... the husband became 92 years old.
-
-
-
--
-
--
-
--
-
-
--
-
---
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful should remember.... fairies are female too!
hahahaahheheehehhhhheeeheeeeeeeeeeeeeee
=================================
An older lady gets pulled over for speeding....
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car.. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
============================
=
MORAL:
Don't Mess With Little Old Ladies
hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
==================================
===================================
Once all the scientists die and go to heaven. They decide to play hide-n-seek
Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den......... ..He is supposed to count upto 100...and then start searching... ..
Everyone starts hiding except Newton...... ...
Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front of Einstein.
Einstein's counting 1,2,3......97, 98,99.... .100..... ... He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front....... .
Einstein says " newton's out..newton' s out....."
Newton denies and says "I am not out........I am not Newton...... "
All the scientists come out to see how he proves that he is not Newton.
Newton says "I am standing in a square of area 1m squared..... That makes me Newton per meter squared..... . Since one Newton per meter squared is one Pascal, I'm Pascal, Therefore Pascal is OUT.....
====================================
A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the Head with a frying pan.
"What was that for?" the man asked.
The wife replied "That was for the piece of paper with the name Julie on it that I found in your pants pocket".
The man then said "When I was at the races last week Julie was the name of the horse I bet on"
The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.
Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.
Wife replied. "Your horse called up !!!!"
======================================
========================================
A Bihari hat-seller was passing by a forest when he decided to take a nap under a tree. He left his whole basket of hats by his side and dozed off. A few hours later, he woke up and realized that all his hats were gone. He looked up and to his surprise, the tree was full of monkeys and they had taken all his hats. The Bihari sat down and thought how he could get his hats back. While thinking, he started to scratch his head. The next moment, the monkeys were doing the same. Next, he took off his own hat, and the monkeys did exactly the same. An idea struck him - he threw his hat onto the ground and the monkeys did that too. Thus, he managed to get all his hats back.
Fifty years later, his grandson, Laloo, who also was into the family business selling hats, had heard of this amazing monkey story from his grandfather. One day, just as his grandfather had done, he passed by the same forest. It was a quite hot day and the journey seemed tiring. He placed the basket of hats on the ground and decided to take a nap under that same old tree. He woke up and realized that all his hats were stolen by the monkeys on the tree. He remembered his grandfather's story, and started scratching his head. The monkeys followed suit. He took off his hat and fanned himself and again the monkeys were doing the same. Now, very convinced of his grandfather's idea, Laloo threw his hat onto the ground but to his surprise, the monkeys still held on to the hats. Then one small monkey climbed down the tree, grabbed the hat lying on the ground, gave Laloo a slap and said.......................
and you think only you have a grandfather?
============================================
============================
A little boy wanted Rs. 500 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened.
Finally , he decided to write a letter to GOD requesting the Rs. 500. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to " God , India ", they decided to forward it to the Finance Minister of India as a joke.
The Finance Minister was so amused, that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy Rs.200. The Finance Minister thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy, and he did not want to spoil the kid.
The little boy was delighted with Rs.200, and decided to write a thanking reply note to God, which reads:
"Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that you sent it through the Finance Ministry in New Delhi, and those donkeys deducted Rs. 300 as taxes!"
===============================
=========================================
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their
cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man,
That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing
left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and
be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days".
Flattered, the man replied, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely!
"This must be a sign from God!"
The woman continued, "and look at this, here's another miracle. My car is
completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants
us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."
Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement,
opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands
it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police.
=============================================
==================================================
The young wife was in tears when she opened the door for her
husband. "I've been insulted," she sobbed. "Your mother insulted me."
"My mother!" he exclaimed. "But she is a hundred miles away."
"I know, but a letter came for you this morning and I opened it."
He looked stern, "I see, but where does the insult come in?"
"In the postscript," she answered. "It said: 'Dear Alice, don't
forget to give this letter to George.'"
========================================
=================================================
Employees of a Company are all worried. Some are roaming around. Some are in
loud discussions during office time.....
Some Trainees, who had just joined, notice this and enquire about what happened
to a senior employee, they ask, "What's going on?"
"Terrorists have kidnapped our Boss"
They're asking for Rs.10 Crores ransom, otherwise they're going to
douse him with petrol and set him on fire.
We're going from desk to desk, taking up a collection."
One Trainee asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"About 1 litre."
=======================================
==============================================
A little girl asked her mother,
"How did the human race appear?"
The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so was all mankind made."
Two days later she asked her father the same question. The father answered, "Many years
ago there were monkeys from which the human race was developed."
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that
you told me that the human race was created by God and Papa says they were
developed from monkeys?"
The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about the origin of my side of the family and your father told you about his side.
============================================
A man was walking along a California beach when he stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it. Out popped a genie.
The genie said, "Okay, okay...you released me from the lamp, blah blah blah blah blah! This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three of them. You only get one wish!"
The man sat and thought about it for a while. Finally, he said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"
The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible. Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete...how much steel! No. Think of another wish."
The man said okay and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women...know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment...know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say 'nothing'...know how to make them truly happy."
The genie said, "You want that bridge with two lanes or four?"
========================================
=========================================
============================================
My Personal message :
plz start reading (Bilbe/Quran or whatever is your book) with translation and understanding. Let be a good believer. Change yourself today and you can change the world
Lets enjoy our lives being good believers.
Think Differently
==================================
====================================
Dear Broz/Sistrz,
Kindly Visit the following links please
http://www.quranurdu.com/
http://www.quranenglish.com/
http://www.esnips.com/_t_/urdu+novels+pdf?q=urdu+novels+pdf
http://www.harunyahya.com/en.m_book_index.php
http://www.esnips.com/web/seezahir-IslamicBooks
http://www.esnips.com/web/urdu-kitabcha/
Well - My dear broz & Sistrz, Above given a re the trusted websites for very good Urdu material (islamic & Novels also)(For example you can get Tafseer Ibne kathir/Sahi Bukhari & Muslim/novels of differents writers and many more books in Faith related and other issues)
If somebody interested in all this and unable to download, kindly contact me and I can send them CDz with all this stuff INSHALLAH
Lets have some nice jokes
=====================
======================================
Majic ........
Try it and find reason?????????????
????????????????????????????
????????????????????????????
MAGIC #1
Nobody can create a FOLDER anywhere
on the computer which can be named as "CON".
This is something pretty cool...and unbelievable...
At Microsoft the whole Team, couldn't answer why this happened!
TRY IT NOW, IT WILL NOT CREATE " CON " FOLDER
MAGIC #2
Microsoft crazy facts
This is something pretty cool and neat...and unbelievable...
At Microsoft the whole Team, including Bill Gates, couldn't answer why this happened!
It was discovered by a Brazilian. Try it out yourself...
Open Microsoft Word and type
=rand (200, 99)
and then press ENTER
===================================================
====================================================
George Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk, he offers question time.
One little boy puts up his hand and George asked, What is your name?
Bob
And what is your question, Bob?
I have 3 questions.
First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, why are you president when Al Gore got more votes?
Third, what happened to Osama bin laden?
Just then, the bell rings for recess.
George bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.
When they resume George says, Ok where were we?
Oh, that's right. Question time. Who has a question?
A different little boy raises his hand.
George points him out and asked him what is your name?
Steve
And what is your question Steve?
I have 5 questions.
First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of UN?
Second, why are you president when Al Gore got more votes?
Third, what happened to Osama bin laden?
Fourth, why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early?
Fifth, where is Bob?
its old but one can still enjoy
hahahaahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
======================================
=================================================
Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK?
Let's find out just how clever you really are.
Ready? GO!!! (scroll down slowly)
First Question:
You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are
absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!
Try not to screw up in the next question.
To answer the second question, don't take as much time as you took for the first question!
Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?
You're not very good at this! Are you?
Third Question:
Very tricky math! Note: This must be done in your head only.
Do NOT use paper! and pencil or a calculator. Try it.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000
Now add 10. What is the total?
Scroll down for answer.
Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100.
Don't believe it? Check with your calculator! Today is definitely not your day. Maybe you will get the last question right?!
Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini,
4. Nono.
What is the name of the fifth daughter?
Answer: Nunu?
NO! Of course not. Her name is Mary. Read the question again
Okay, now the bonus round.!
There is a mute person who wants to buy a toothbrush. By
imitating the action of brushing one's teeth he successfully
expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is
done.
Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of
sunglasses, how should he express himself?
He just has to open his mouth and ask, so simple.
KEEP THIS GOING TO FRUSTRATE THE SMART PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE!
=====================
hahhahahhaahahhahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
=====================================
=====================================================
A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.
The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.'
The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.
The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again.
I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.'
The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.
So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!... the husband became 92 years old.
-
-
-
--
-
--
-
--
-
-
--
-
---
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful should remember.... fairies are female too!
hahahaahheheehehhhhheeeheeeeeeeeeeeeeee
=================================
An older lady gets pulled over for speeding....
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car.. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
============================
=
MORAL:
Don't Mess With Little Old Ladies
hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
==================================
===================================
Once all the scientists die and go to heaven. They decide to play hide-n-seek
Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den......... ..He is supposed to count upto 100...and then start searching... ..
Everyone starts hiding except Newton...... ...
Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front of Einstein.
Einstein's counting 1,2,3......97, 98,99.... .100..... ... He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front....... .
Einstein says " newton's out..newton' s out....."
Newton denies and says "I am not out........I am not Newton...... "
All the scientists come out to see how he proves that he is not Newton.
Newton says "I am standing in a square of area 1m squared..... That makes me Newton per meter squared..... . Since one Newton per meter squared is one Pascal, I'm Pascal, Therefore Pascal is OUT.....
====================================
A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the Head with a frying pan.
"What was that for?" the man asked.
The wife replied "That was for the piece of paper with the name Julie on it that I found in your pants pocket".
The man then said "When I was at the races last week Julie was the name of the horse I bet on"
The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.
Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.
Wife replied. "Your horse called up !!!!"
======================================
========================================
A Bihari hat-seller was passing by a forest when he decided to take a nap under a tree. He left his whole basket of hats by his side and dozed off. A few hours later, he woke up and realized that all his hats were gone. He looked up and to his surprise, the tree was full of monkeys and they had taken all his hats. The Bihari sat down and thought how he could get his hats back. While thinking, he started to scratch his head. The next moment, the monkeys were doing the same. Next, he took off his own hat, and the monkeys did exactly the same. An idea struck him - he threw his hat onto the ground and the monkeys did that too. Thus, he managed to get all his hats back.
Fifty years later, his grandson, Laloo, who also was into the family business selling hats, had heard of this amazing monkey story from his grandfather. One day, just as his grandfather had done, he passed by the same forest. It was a quite hot day and the journey seemed tiring. He placed the basket of hats on the ground and decided to take a nap under that same old tree. He woke up and realized that all his hats were stolen by the monkeys on the tree. He remembered his grandfather's story, and started scratching his head. The monkeys followed suit. He took off his hat and fanned himself and again the monkeys were doing the same. Now, very convinced of his grandfather's idea, Laloo threw his hat onto the ground but to his surprise, the monkeys still held on to the hats. Then one small monkey climbed down the tree, grabbed the hat lying on the ground, gave Laloo a slap and said.......................
and you think only you have a grandfather?
============================================
============================
A little boy wanted Rs. 500 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened.
Finally , he decided to write a letter to GOD requesting the Rs. 500. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to " God , India ", they decided to forward it to the Finance Minister of India as a joke.
The Finance Minister was so amused, that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy Rs.200. The Finance Minister thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy, and he did not want to spoil the kid.
The little boy was delighted with Rs.200, and decided to write a thanking reply note to God, which reads:
"Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that you sent it through the Finance Ministry in New Delhi, and those donkeys deducted Rs. 300 as taxes!"
===============================
=========================================
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their
cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man,
That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing
left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and
be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days".
Flattered, the man replied, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely!
"This must be a sign from God!"
The woman continued, "and look at this, here's another miracle. My car is
completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants
us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."
Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement,
opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands
it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police.
=============================================
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The young wife was in tears when she opened the door for her
husband. "I've been insulted," she sobbed. "Your mother insulted me."
"My mother!" he exclaimed. "But she is a hundred miles away."
"I know, but a letter came for you this morning and I opened it."
He looked stern, "I see, but where does the insult come in?"
"In the postscript," she answered. "It said: 'Dear Alice, don't
forget to give this letter to George.'"
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Employees of a Company are all worried. Some are roaming around. Some are in
loud discussions during office time.....
Some Trainees, who had just joined, notice this and enquire about what happened
to a senior employee, they ask, "What's going on?"
"Terrorists have kidnapped our Boss"
They're asking for Rs.10 Crores ransom, otherwise they're going to
douse him with petrol and set him on fire.
We're going from desk to desk, taking up a collection."
One Trainee asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"About 1 litre."
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A little girl asked her mother,
"How did the human race appear?"
The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so was all mankind made."
Two days later she asked her father the same question. The father answered, "Many years
ago there were monkeys from which the human race was developed."
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that
you told me that the human race was created by God and Papa says they were
developed from monkeys?"
The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about the origin of my side of the family and your father told you about his side.
============================================
A man was walking along a California beach when he stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it. Out popped a genie.
The genie said, "Okay, okay...you released me from the lamp, blah blah blah blah blah! This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three of them. You only get one wish!"
The man sat and thought about it for a while. Finally, he said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"
The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible. Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete...how much steel! No. Think of another wish."
The man said okay and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women...know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment...know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say 'nothing'...know how to make them truly happy."
The genie said, "You want that bridge with two lanes or four?"
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My Personal message :
plz start reading (Bilbe/Quran or whatever is your book) with translation and understanding. Let be a good believer. Change yourself today and you can change the world
Lets enjoy our lives being good believers.
Think Differently
==================================
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Dear Broz/Sistrz,
Kindly Visit the following links please
http://www.quranurdu.com/
http://www.quranenglish.com/
http://www.esnips.com/_t_/urdu+novels+pdf?q=urdu+novels+pdf
http://www.harunyahya.com/en.m_book_index.php
http://www.esnips.com/web/seezahir-IslamicBooks
http://www.esnips.com/web/urdu-kitabcha/
Well - My dear broz & Sistrz, Above given a re the trusted websites for very good Urdu material (islamic & Novels also)(For example you can get Tafseer Ibne kathir/Sahi Bukhari & Muslim/novels of differents writers and many more books in Faith related and other issues)
If somebody interested in all this and unable to download, kindly contact me and I can send them CDz with all this stuff INSHALLAH
2008年9月20日 8:59hi
4U
108, 安曼, 約旦
glitter-graphics.com
glitter-graphics.com
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2009年12月16日 19:10Hey
add me....
msn: farhanahmed18@hotmail.com
yahoo: naughtyb4u2002@ y a h o o .com
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