2006年9月26日 上午1點42分50秒Driving us to say what we are thinking

Delighted to find "the poem on the bridge" by John Ashbery
Here it goes...

And now I cannot remember
How I would have had it.
It is not a conduit (confluence?)
But a place.
The place, of movement and an order.
The place of old order.
But the tail end of the movement is new,

Driving us to say what we are thinking.
It is so much like a beach after all
Where you stand and think of going no further.

And it is good when you get to no further.
It is like a reason that picks you up
And places you where you always wanted
To be.
This far.
It is fair to be crossing, to have crossed.
Then there is no promise in the other.
Here it is.
Steel and air, a mottled presence,
Small panacea and lucky for us.
And then it got very cool.

heard that Ashbery was commissioned to compose this poem
specially for the bridge between Walker Art Center and Loring Park
lovely memory in minneapolis

for the first time there is no remorse when i trust feelings more than thinking
unable to rationalize all these feelings
sometimes euphoric sometimes miserable
all the same it fills me with the fuel to go to whatever ends

i can feel that
they're not just close
but connected
by a bond stronger than steel
i know that
we are bound by solidarity
we are one

launching towards the future and change
where there lies the unspeakable
because i fear it being real for this moment
and not the next
the exact same fear
even euphoria seems a fright
practically in a dilemma
the questions are
how am i gonna take it
if one day i can no longer be the beloved
how am i gonna change
a feeling or thought so profound
the determination to be one
to forfeit being myself but part of us
all i want is to be able to the lover
and be with you forever

2006年9月23日 下午2點22分46秒let's go change the world!!

what i thought i overheard in a huma001 (intro to languages) class:
    "Human language has the attribute of productivity... infinite number of sentences is possible and so is the possible number of messages they convey."

so basically, whatever ideas we have we are supposed to be able to find words adequate enough to convey such ideas. of coz sufficient capability of the language is assumed. oh then i guess i can safely assume i m very much deficient in terms of language command becoz i find myself quite speechless when it comes to expressing a certain thing lately.. like all the words i know are so far inadequate and insufficient.

my guess is.. when people fall short of words to describe, they invent symbolism, or its sort.

do u read only things that relate to yourself,
or things that you can identify with?
or do u cruise in the world whoever out there has created?
do u find it difficult to understand what people write
or do the words they write find it difficult to communicate with you?
oh there are symbols to interpret, codes to be decoded
how am i supposed to understand all that?
but underlying symbols and codes and the alphabets
there are thoughts and their creator
who wishes to talk to somebody
let the symbols bridge the gap between people
or make them a tool to disparage and intensify our difference
could be your choice

2006年9月21日 上午7點52分18秒Voi che sapete

Voi che sapete｜You who know
Che cosa è amor｜what love is,
|: Donne vedete｜ladies, see
S'io l'ho nel cor｜if I have it in my heart.

Quello ch'io provo｜What I experience
Vi ri diro｜I shall explain:
E per me nuovo｜it is new for me,
Capir nol so｜I don't understand it.

Sento un affetto｜I feel an emotion.
Pien di desir｜full of desire
Ch'ora è diletto｜that is now pleasure,
Ch'ora è matir｜now torment.

Gelo e poi sento｜I freeze, then I feel
L'alma avvampar｜my soul catch fire,
E in un momento｜and in a moment
Torno a gelar｜I turn to ice.

Ricerco un bene｜I seek a happiness
Fuori di me｜outside myself,
Non sochi il tiene｜I don't know who has it,
Non so cos'è｜I don't know what it is.

Sospiro e gemo senza voler｜I sigh and groan without meaning to,
Palpito e tremo senza saper｜I shudder and tremble without knowing it,
Non trovo pace notte nè di｜pace I find no peace by night or day:
Ma pur mi piace languir cosi｜but yet I like to languish like this.

Voi che sapete｜You who know
Che cosa è amor｜what love is,
|: Donne vedete｜ladies, see
S'io l'ho nel cor｜if I have it in my heart.

2006年9月12日 下午6點09分17秒why aren't we talking to each other anymore?

questions come up, you find an answer
as long as you can find answers to most of your questions
and not let them overwhelm your capacity to hold question marks
you are good; or you're gonna be, otherwise, positively frustrated

since when have I been so cautious
to choose my words, even scared
to speak my mind?
I want to say it hurts when times after times
conversations turn out so discouraging
maybe I have not tried hard enough
when I could've done better
right, I just could've been a nicer person
and never mind what reward I'm gonna get
when I have not even given any effort

come on
maybe you just don't mean so much
to deserve this
or anything, whatever it is

maybe all the answers are right in front
only they're ignored for the sake of self deception

2006年9月5日 下午4點22分34秒old cake

而家做左半個New Hall 人, thanks to SHO. 好在今個sem 最早11 點堂jek.
仲有一生人第一個dayoff, 真令人振奮!!
今日同成班CENG yr 1 一齊上Organic Chem... oh i m a piece of old cake