2009年7月4日 上午8點56分45秒4-7-2009

I couldn't help but want to hug this hippie girl as I read the email. I bloody love people like this. How the hell did she ever become such a smashing person? She was the one who phoned me on a random evening during my md2001 out of XX-related depression, even though we'd only known each other for pretty much less than 3 months at that time. (I can't even recall traces of details of that conversation, but needless to say it was a bit out of the blue for me, at 10 or 11 in the evening, I think?) I didn't even know about her personal history until that point, nor of the spontaneity that is her trademark.Well, I did, right in the middle of that conversation. Ever since then I'd met J, and before I knew it the most part of our conversations had went into an elaborate column centred around my side of the story. I know she'd been quite over her own side of it ever since a certain nice bloke fell over her on a mall-bombing, ground-shaking Indian vacation (even though he did eventually turn out to be a bit, well, fell, in the literal sense of the word, and I do not excuse the pun). It took her at least two years, she said, for the entire grieving process to be over, even before she met the bloke. Is it really just a process for the offending person to get over and done with? I have no doubt that she knew the gravity of the moment when she was acting as a human-sized teddy bear in my room after J and I had left the first happy week we had in September with a lot of questions and angst. Correspondence as of late, however, seems to be taking a turn. She's reminding me of the fact that, yes, there will be a post-breakup phase, as is the natural course of things -a fact that is quite threatening as it already is to my saneity. Rather unsettling to me, I think. It's as if what we had went on and on about in the last live chat doesn't register in her brain any longer. Good for her, though. It looks to me like the Taipei trip had erased quite a bit of the dreary facts I had put in her brain the last time we talked.

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2009年6月25日 上午1點50分18秒:O 25-6

oh my god. she's back! she's PopPInG the QuEStIon!!!!

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2009年6月24日 上午5點36分17秒24-6

I can't stop myeslf from sounding like a commitment freak even as I wrote this. I have read about my allocation yesterday but it hasn't kicked in until now. I wish my headache hasn't subsided a moment ago and that my mind is still too incoherent from it to register the fact that the ALLOCATION IS DONE. I haven't asked anyone else yet about theirs -it's not as if it makes any difference to know it now than 3 months later.... or does it? I don't know.

For anyone whom I had estranged since before I came to know life-as-it-should-be in uni, it shouldn't be ...

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