網誌
2008年9月16日 上午6點26分03秒mama lied to me (continuation of 'papa loves me...
i passed the college entrance examination in baguio, but, mama forced me to take another exam in manila. i told her i'll be fine in baguio but she said my future is in manila. so, as she wished, i took another examination.
just like the other exams i took, i passed the PUP exam in manila.
i really wanted to study in baguio where most of my friends are going to study too, but mom did not agree with me. she said she just wanted us (together with my two older sisters who are studying in manila) to stay under the same roof. she wanted us to live together when we're away from home.
one afternoon, i ran out of cell phone load. i really needed to reply my friend, so, i borrowed my moms phone. when i was about to delete my message in her "sent items" i saw and read my moms messages to my sister.
mom lied to me. she did. she's not sending me to manila to make us (together with my sisters) live together under the same roof. she's sending me there because she doesn't trust me, and likewise with my friends. she wanted my sisters to look after me.
i'm no longer a baby, or a kid. i understand her if she wanted to protect me, and i appreciate that. but, she doesn't need to lie to me. and i really don't like the idea that she doesn't trust my friends as much as she doesn't trust me.
i want to get their trust back, but, i don't know where to get it and how to get it back. i just wished that someday, without doing anything, they'll realize my friends and i are worthy to be trusted.
to all my friends whom my mom did not trust, i'm so sorry about that.but i promise you all, we'll be together for the next 100 years, or even more.
iloveu all!=)
2008年9月12日 上午3點14分41秒papa loves me, though i'm different
my parents think of me as the blacksheep of the family. i knew why, because they think of me as the worst child they had. as far as i know, i haven't done anything that offended them, or anything that put them to shame. maybe because i'mn the middle child that's why i have the impression of being a bad girl.
since i turned 8 and grew older, i never consulted my parents when i have a problem. i just kept them all inside me and do all the healings and solutions by myself.
there were times when i really think they don't care about me anymore, as if i ...
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2008年9月9日 上午6點08分37秒a sad story (way back in sept. 2, 2006)
my grandmother is my bestfriend, i even love her more than my own mother.
it was a very exciting morning that day (sept. 2) when i woke up, it's because my friends and i are about to experience our very first hiking. i got myself ready and left home without saying goodbye to grandma and the rest of the family.
that hiking gave me complete happiness. because of that hiking, i experienced my first taste of fresh water from the mountains, my first swim on a river, my first bathe without changing my clothes, and the worst incident that ever happened in my ...
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2008年9月8日 上午4點25分42秒my nightmare
last night, i had a nightmare. in my dream, my mother was dying. my father then was looking at me very weird. that same day, my mother died. my father wasn't sad. during the night when i'm in my room still mourning, my father entered my room without knocking. he closed and locked the door. when he was about to do that 'thing', i woke up shaking and terrified. it was three o'clock in the morning. i can't sleep then so i opened the Health and Home book. upon opening, the article's title writen on the page was 'pregnat at 17!'. i realized, i'm 17! i ...
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