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留言本
2009年10月11日 14:27Re: salam.......
I am ordered
24, 羅馬尼亞
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Three women were sitting around and bragging about their children.
The first one says, "You know, my son, he graduated first in his class from Stanford. He's now a doctor, making $250,000 a year in Chicago."
The second woman says, "You know my son, he graduated first in his class from Harvard. he's now a lawyer, making half a million dollars a year and he lives in Los Angeles."
The last woman says, "You know my son, he never did too well in school. He never went to any university but he now makes one million dollars a year in New York working as a sports repairman."
The other two women ask, "What is a sports repairman?"
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The woman then replies, "He fixes games... you know, hockey games, football games, baseball games, cricket games...."
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The Mommy Test
Lets hear from a Mommy
I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter.
She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth.
I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.
"Why?" my daughter asked.
"Because it's been on the ground, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs" I replied.
At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Mommy, how do you know all this stuff? You are so smart."
I was thinking quickly.
"All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy."
We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.
"OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have to be the daddy."
"Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my face.
When you're finished laughing, send this to a Mom!
===================================
Once all the scientists die and go to heaven. They decide to play hide-n-seek
Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den......... ..He is supposed to count upto 100...and then start searching... ..
Everyone starts hiding except Newton...... ...
Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front of Einstein.
Einstein's counting 1,2,3......97, 98,99.... .100..... ... He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front....... .
Einstein says " newton's out..newton' s out....."
Newton denies and says "I am not out........I am not Newton...... "
All the scientists come out to see how he proves that he is not Newton.
Newton says "I am standing in a square of area 1m squared..... That makes me Newton per meter squared..... . Since one Newton per meter squared is one Pascal, I'm Pascal, Therefore Pascal is OUT.....
====================================
A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the Head with a frying pan.
"What was that for?" the man asked.
The wife replied "That was for the piece of paper with the name Julie on it that I found in your pants pocket".
The man then said "When I was at the races last week Julie was the name of the horse I bet on"
The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.
Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.
Wife replied. "Your horse called up !!!!"
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========================================
A Bihari hat-seller was passing by a forest when he decided to take a nap under a tree. He left his whole basket of hats by his side and dozed off. A few hours later, he woke up and realized that all his hats were gone. He looked up and to his surprise, the tree was full of monkeys and they had taken all his hats. The Bihari sat down and thought how he could get his hats back. While thinking, he started to scratch his head. The next moment, the monkeys were doing the same. Next, he took off his own hat, and the monkeys did exactly the same. An idea struck him - he threw his hat onto the ground and the monkeys did that too. Thus, he managed to get all his hats back.
Fifty years later, his grandson, Laloo, who also was into the family business selling hats, had heard of this amazing monkey story from his grandfather. One day, just as his grandfather had done, he passed by the same forest. It was a quite hot day and the journey seemed tiring. He placed the basket of hats on the ground and decided to take a nap under that same old tree. He woke up and realized that all his hats were stolen by the monkeys on the tree. He remembered his grandfather's story, and started scratching his head. The monkeys followed suit. He took off his hat and fanned himself and again the monkeys were doing the same. Now, very convinced of his grandfather's idea, Laloo threw his hat onto the ground but to his surprise, the monkeys still held on to the hats. Then one small monkey climbed down the tree, grabbed the hat lying on the ground, gave Laloo a slap and said.......................
and you think only you have a grandfather?
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A little boy wanted Rs. 500 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened.
Finally , he decided to write a letter to GOD requesting the Rs. 500. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to " God , India ", they decided to forward it to the Finance Minister of India as a joke.
The Finance Minister was so amused, that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy Rs.200. The Finance Minister thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy, and he did not want to spoil the kid.
The little boy was delighted with Rs.200, and decided to write a thanking reply note to God, which reads:
"Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that you sent it through the Finance Ministry in New Delhi, and those donkeys deducted Rs. 300 as taxes!"
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A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their
cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man,
That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing
left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and
be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days".
Flattered, the man replied, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely!
"This must be a sign from God!"
The woman continued, "and look at this, here's another miracle. My car is
completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants
us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."
Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement,
opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands
it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police.
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The young wife was in tears when she opened the door for her
husband. "I've been insulted," she sobbed. "Your mother insulted me."
"My mother!" he exclaimed. "But she is a hundred miles away."
"I know, but a letter came for you this morning and I opened it."
He looked stern, "I see, but where does the insult come in?"
"In the postscript," she answered. "It said: 'Dear Alice, don't
forget to give this letter to George.'"
========================================
=================================================
Employees of a Company are all worried. Some are roaming around. Some are in
loud discussions during office time.....
Some Trainees, who had just joined, notice this and enquire about what happened
to a senior employee, they ask, "What's going on?"
"Terrorists have kidnapped our Boss"
They're asking for Rs.10 Crores ransom, otherwise they're going to
douse him with petrol and set him on fire.
We're going from desk to desk, taking up a collection."
One Trainee asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average?
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.
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.
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"About 1 litre."
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A little girl asked her mother,
"How did the human race appear?"
The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so was all mankind made."
Two days later she asked her father the same question. The father answered, "Many years
ago there were monkeys from which the human race was developed."
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that
you told me that the human race was created by God and Papa says they were
developed from monkeys?"
The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about the origin of my side of the family and your father told you about his side.
============================================
A man was walking along a California beach when he stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it. Out popped a genie.
The genie said, "Okay, okay...you released me from the lamp, blah blah blah blah blah! This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three of them. You only get one wish!"
The man sat and thought about it for a while. Finally, he said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"
The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible. Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete...how much steel! No. Think of another wish."
The man said okay and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women...know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment...know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say 'nothing'...know how to make them truly happy."
The genie said, "You want that bridge with two lanes or four?"
========================================
Wife: 'What are you doing?'
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : 'Nothing...? You've been reading
our marriage certificate for an hour.'
Husband : 'I was looking for the expiry date.'
hhahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'
Husband : 'Sure! What are my choices?'
Wife : 'Yes or no.'
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?'
Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.'
Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?'
Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'
hahhahahhahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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Broz/Ssiterz
ALLAH hum sub ko shaitani rastoon aur chaloon say bachaey
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Somebody from Aslaf (sahaba/tabaeen) asked from his Students that what you people will do if Satan will attack you?????????
One of the student replied: Offcourse we will fight with him and try to defeat him.
Sulf asked him: Do you think - you will succeed?????
He said: I am not sure but i will try.
Sulf said: Even if you will defeat him but you will still get some injuries from this fight (mean kuch na kuch gunahoon main mubtala hu hi jao gay shaitan k hamloon say).
Student: So what i can do then????????
Sulf: Ok, if you are passing through some street and you see that there is dog and owner of the dog is with him and you feel that the dog is want to attack you - will you fight with the dog.
Offcourse no but you should have to ask the owner of the dog to control his dog. Similarly, when you see that the satan is going to attack you - Think about ALLAH (The owner of everything) and ask him for help. InshALLAH you will be safe and will be able to carry own your journey.
So, this is Submission to ALLAH. Rather to waste time in fighting with satan - Ask ALLAH for help.
ALL the BEST
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Dear Muslim brotherz & Sisterz:
A forum just in the real benifit of you.......................
Now a days Muzik is one of the most common Sin in our society. Lets talk about the point of View of our religion against Muzik. I want to start this thread with a Verse in Quran From Surah Luqman:
"Among the people, there are those
who uphold (purchase) baseless saying,
and thus divert others from the path of
GOD without knowledge, and take
it in vain. These have incurred
a shameful retribution" (6/31)
The words in arabic used for "baseless saying" is "Lahwal Hadith" which means in Urdu "Fazool/Laghav kalimat".
Brotherz & Sisterz:
In tafseer of this Ayat just now I will copy only one point of view from Abdullah Bin Masood (R.A). He Said:
" By God - This ayat refers to muzik (singing/listening/using instruments)"
Well - for taday thats all but i will copy the statements against muzik & its illeffects from Hadith & our Aslaf very soon - InshALLAH
Just Visit & comment froum "Lets Talk about Muzik"
May ALLAH Guide us towards the path of blessed people, not of those who have deserved wrath, nor of the strayers.
Ameen
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Police wala (Baitay say): Tumhara result aya hay aur tum teen subjects main fail hu. Aj say tumhara khailna, TV daikhna and Bahir jana band.
Baita (sargoshi kartay huway): Chorain G (Aankh Mar K) - yah 50 rupay rakhain aur silsala yahin khatam karain.
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Muzik ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Three Ayat which which shows the intent against Muzik:
1) Among the people, there are those who uphold baseless Hadith, and thus divert others from the path of GOD without knowledge, and take it in vain. These have incurred a shameful retribution.(Sura 31: Luqman (Luqman)/ayat-6)
EXPLANATION:
"Lah wal hadith" is the focused word in this ayat.
Syedna Abdullah Bin Masood (R.A) said about this ayat "By God, it means sisgning (Muzik)"
Syedna Abdullah Bin Abbas (R.A) said about this ayat "This is singing and the stuff related to muzik"
And same point of view is from Hazrat Saeed bin yassar, Saeed Bin Jubair, Akarma and Qatada (R.A)
(Refrence pages from tafseer ibne Kaseer are attached)
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2) Are you insisting on your ways(Playing/singing)? (Sura 53: The Stars (Al-Najm)/ayat 61)
Explanation:
The word "Samidoon" in this ayat means singing (from Yamani Arabic dictionary). This ayat is very intersting as before this ayat ALLAH (S.W.T) telling us about the Day of judgement and our behaviourz after listening these ayats.
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3) "You may entice them with your voice, and mobilize all your forces and all your men against them, and share in their money and children, and promise them. Anything the devil promises is no more than an illusion (Sura 17: The Children of Israel (Bani Israel)/ayat 64)
Explanantion:
This is the wonderful ayat. This is ayat which scene out the conversation b/t ALLAH (S.W.T) and Satan. And here ALLAH is mentioning that satan can attack through his voice (singing/bad poetry/abusing/ use of bad language etc).So, we Muslims ALhamdolillah considerz Muzik + singing bad poetry as one of the voice od Satan.
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This time sahi ahadiths are there:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Once Syedna Abdullah Bin Omar (R.A) was on the way with some other person. They heard the voice of flute by shepherd. He insert his fingers in the ears, changed the path and asked the companion:
"Are you still listning him"?
He Said: Yes............ & They keep on walking.
Finally the companion said: Now i can not listen him.
Then Syedna Ibne Omar (R.A) put his hands down and said:
"I myself observed Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) that wheen he heard the voice of flute - He (S.A.W) did the same".
(Sunan Abi Dawood - Book of Adab (Babul karahiya tul Ghana Wal Zumar)
EXPLANATION:
This is quite simple that Holy Prophet heard only the voice of Flute and how he responded. I dont know how one can say that singing (satanic peotry) with a lot of instruments is halal....
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Syedna Abdur Rahman Bin Aouf (R.A) narrated that Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) said:
"Surely I am been prohibited from two voices of foolishness, adultry & profligacy (Fisq O Fajoor): On having some Blessing (happiness) - the voice of flute and on some trouble - weeping/crying in a loude voice.
(Tirmidhi - Kitbaul Janaiz (Babul Ma ja a Fi rukhsa Fil Baka a Alal Mayat)
Explanation:
Now how we behaves on marriages, on having some good news and on the time of Death........In this Hadith "weeping with a loud vioce on some trouble is a voice of foolishness and the singing/Muzik is a voice of adultry and profligacy.
This is the reason that Companions (Sahaba) considered muzik "FIrst step towards Zina (Adultry).
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Ibne Omar (R.A) said that on the time of the death of Syedna Ibrahim (R.A)(son of prophet Muhammad (S.A.W)),eyes of prophet were flowing. I said:
"Ya rasool ALLAH - you forbade us but you (yourself) is weeping"????
Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) said:
"I dont block you to weep but i forbade you from two foolish and profligatic voices:Satanic fluets & Adultriotic acts in the time of Blessing (Happiness) and weeping/crying with satanic voices in time of trouble"
(Nasbur Raaya - Hadith number 36 (84/4))
EXPLANATION:
THis hadith is again same - more or less with the same theme as of Hadith number - 2.
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its a wonderfull link
please check - a wonderful site for learning Quran with urdu traslation and tafseer
http://www.alketab.com/quran_18.asp
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Abdullah Bin Masood narrates from Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) that he asked:
O Prophet: What is the most superior Deed in Deen?
Prophet (S.A.W) replied: Offering Salat on time.
I asked: After that???
He replied: Dealing with parents in a good way.
I asked: After that???
He replied: Doing Jihad in the way of ALLAH.
(Sahi Bukhari)
Iyaka naabudu Wa Iyaka Nastaeen
"(Oh ALLAH) You are the only being we worship, you are the only being we ask for help"
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My Personal message :
plz start reading (Bilbe/Quran or whatever is your book) with translation and understanding. Let be a good believer. Change yourself today and you can change the world
Lets enjoy our lives being good believers.
Think Differently
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Dear Broz/Sistrz,
Kindly Visit the following links please
http://www.quranurdu.com/books/urdu_books/
http://www.quranurdu.com/
http://www.quranenglish.com/
http://www.esnips.com/_t_/urdu+novels+pdf?q=urdu+novels+pdf
http://www.harunyahya.com/en.m_book_index.php
http://www.esnips.com/web/seezahir-IslamicBooks
http://www.esnips.com/web/urdu-kitabcha/
Well - My dear broz & Sistrz, Above given a re the trusted websites for very good Urdu material (islamic & Novels also)(For example you can get Tafseer Ibne kathir/Sahi Bukhari & Muslim/novels of differents writers and many more books in Faith related and other issues)
If somebody interested in all this and unable to download, kindly contact me and I can send them CDz with all this stuff INSHALLAH
Three women were sitting around and bragging about their children.
The first one says, "You know, my son, he graduated first in his class from Stanford. He's now a doctor, making $250,000 a year in Chicago."
The second woman says, "You know my son, he graduated first in his class from Harvard. he's now a lawyer, making half a million dollars a year and he lives in Los Angeles."
The last woman says, "You know my son, he never did too well in school. He never went to any university but he now makes one million dollars a year in New York working as a sports repairman."
The other two women ask, "What is a sports repairman?"
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--
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--
The woman then replies, "He fixes games... you know, hockey games, football games, baseball games, cricket games...."
==============================================
==============================
==================================
The Mommy Test
Lets hear from a Mommy
I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter.
She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth.
I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.
"Why?" my daughter asked.
"Because it's been on the ground, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs" I replied.
At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Mommy, how do you know all this stuff? You are so smart."
I was thinking quickly.
"All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy."
We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.
"OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have to be the daddy."
"Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my face.
When you're finished laughing, send this to a Mom!
===================================
Once all the scientists die and go to heaven. They decide to play hide-n-seek
Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den......... ..He is supposed to count upto 100...and then start searching... ..
Everyone starts hiding except Newton...... ...
Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front of Einstein.
Einstein's counting 1,2,3......97, 98,99.... .100..... ... He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front....... .
Einstein says " newton's out..newton' s out....."
Newton denies and says "I am not out........I am not Newton...... "
All the scientists come out to see how he proves that he is not Newton.
Newton says "I am standing in a square of area 1m squared..... That makes me Newton per meter squared..... . Since one Newton per meter squared is one Pascal, I'm Pascal, Therefore Pascal is OUT.....
====================================
A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the Head with a frying pan.
"What was that for?" the man asked.
The wife replied "That was for the piece of paper with the name Julie on it that I found in your pants pocket".
The man then said "When I was at the races last week Julie was the name of the horse I bet on"
The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.
Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.
Wife replied. "Your horse called up !!!!"
======================================
========================================
A Bihari hat-seller was passing by a forest when he decided to take a nap under a tree. He left his whole basket of hats by his side and dozed off. A few hours later, he woke up and realized that all his hats were gone. He looked up and to his surprise, the tree was full of monkeys and they had taken all his hats. The Bihari sat down and thought how he could get his hats back. While thinking, he started to scratch his head. The next moment, the monkeys were doing the same. Next, he took off his own hat, and the monkeys did exactly the same. An idea struck him - he threw his hat onto the ground and the monkeys did that too. Thus, he managed to get all his hats back.
Fifty years later, his grandson, Laloo, who also was into the family business selling hats, had heard of this amazing monkey story from his grandfather. One day, just as his grandfather had done, he passed by the same forest. It was a quite hot day and the journey seemed tiring. He placed the basket of hats on the ground and decided to take a nap under that same old tree. He woke up and realized that all his hats were stolen by the monkeys on the tree. He remembered his grandfather's story, and started scratching his head. The monkeys followed suit. He took off his hat and fanned himself and again the monkeys were doing the same. Now, very convinced of his grandfather's idea, Laloo threw his hat onto the ground but to his surprise, the monkeys still held on to the hats. Then one small monkey climbed down the tree, grabbed the hat lying on the ground, gave Laloo a slap and said.......................
and you think only you have a grandfather?
============================================
============================
A little boy wanted Rs. 500 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened.
Finally , he decided to write a letter to GOD requesting the Rs. 500. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to " God , India ", they decided to forward it to the Finance Minister of India as a joke.
The Finance Minister was so amused, that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy Rs.200. The Finance Minister thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy, and he did not want to spoil the kid.
The little boy was delighted with Rs.200, and decided to write a thanking reply note to God, which reads:
"Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that you sent it through the Finance Ministry in New Delhi, and those donkeys deducted Rs. 300 as taxes!"
===============================
=========================================
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their
cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man,
That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing
left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and
be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days".
Flattered, the man replied, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely!
"This must be a sign from God!"
The woman continued, "and look at this, here's another miracle. My car is
completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants
us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."
Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement,
opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands
it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police.
=============================================
==================================================
The young wife was in tears when she opened the door for her
husband. "I've been insulted," she sobbed. "Your mother insulted me."
"My mother!" he exclaimed. "But she is a hundred miles away."
"I know, but a letter came for you this morning and I opened it."
He looked stern, "I see, but where does the insult come in?"
"In the postscript," she answered. "It said: 'Dear Alice, don't
forget to give this letter to George.'"
========================================
=================================================
Employees of a Company are all worried. Some are roaming around. Some are in
loud discussions during office time.....
Some Trainees, who had just joined, notice this and enquire about what happened
to a senior employee, they ask, "What's going on?"
"Terrorists have kidnapped our Boss"
They're asking for Rs.10 Crores ransom, otherwise they're going to
douse him with petrol and set him on fire.
We're going from desk to desk, taking up a collection."
One Trainee asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"About 1 litre."
=======================================
==============================================
A little girl asked her mother,
"How did the human race appear?"
The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so was all mankind made."
Two days later she asked her father the same question. The father answered, "Many years
ago there were monkeys from which the human race was developed."
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that
you told me that the human race was created by God and Papa says they were
developed from monkeys?"
The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about the origin of my side of the family and your father told you about his side.
============================================
A man was walking along a California beach when he stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it. Out popped a genie.
The genie said, "Okay, okay...you released me from the lamp, blah blah blah blah blah! This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three of them. You only get one wish!"
The man sat and thought about it for a while. Finally, he said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"
The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible. Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete...how much steel! No. Think of another wish."
The man said okay and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women...know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment...know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say 'nothing'...know how to make them truly happy."
The genie said, "You want that bridge with two lanes or four?"
========================================
Wife: 'What are you doing?'
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : 'Nothing...? You've been reading
our marriage certificate for an hour.'
Husband : 'I was looking for the expiry date.'
hhahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
-------------------------------
Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'
Husband : 'Sure! What are my choices?'
Wife : 'Yes or no.'
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
-------------------------------
Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?'
Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.'
Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?'
Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'
hahhahahhahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
============================================
Broz/Ssiterz
ALLAH hum sub ko shaitani rastoon aur chaloon say bachaey
===============================
Somebody from Aslaf (sahaba/tabaeen) asked from his Students that what you people will do if Satan will attack you?????????
One of the student replied: Offcourse we will fight with him and try to defeat him.
Sulf asked him: Do you think - you will succeed?????
He said: I am not sure but i will try.
Sulf said: Even if you will defeat him but you will still get some injuries from this fight (mean kuch na kuch gunahoon main mubtala hu hi jao gay shaitan k hamloon say).
Student: So what i can do then????????
Sulf: Ok, if you are passing through some street and you see that there is dog and owner of the dog is with him and you feel that the dog is want to attack you - will you fight with the dog.
Offcourse no but you should have to ask the owner of the dog to control his dog. Similarly, when you see that the satan is going to attack you - Think about ALLAH (The owner of everything) and ask him for help. InshALLAH you will be safe and will be able to carry own your journey.
So, this is Submission to ALLAH. Rather to waste time in fighting with satan - Ask ALLAH for help.
ALL the BEST
==============================================
Dear Muslim brotherz & Sisterz:
A forum just in the real benifit of you.......................
Now a days Muzik is one of the most common Sin in our society. Lets talk about the point of View of our religion against Muzik. I want to start this thread with a Verse in Quran From Surah Luqman:
"Among the people, there are those
who uphold (purchase) baseless saying,
and thus divert others from the path of
GOD without knowledge, and take
it in vain. These have incurred
a shameful retribution" (6/31)
The words in arabic used for "baseless saying" is "Lahwal Hadith" which means in Urdu "Fazool/Laghav kalimat".
Brotherz & Sisterz:
In tafseer of this Ayat just now I will copy only one point of view from Abdullah Bin Masood (R.A). He Said:
" By God - This ayat refers to muzik (singing/listening/using instruments)"
Well - for taday thats all but i will copy the statements against muzik & its illeffects from Hadith & our Aslaf very soon - InshALLAH
Just Visit & comment froum "Lets Talk about Muzik"
May ALLAH Guide us towards the path of blessed people, not of those who have deserved wrath, nor of the strayers.
Ameen
============================================
Police wala (Baitay say): Tumhara result aya hay aur tum teen subjects main fail hu. Aj say tumhara khailna, TV daikhna and Bahir jana band.
Baita (sargoshi kartay huway): Chorain G (Aankh Mar K) - yah 50 rupay rakhain aur silsala yahin khatam karain.
=========================
================================
Muzik ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Three Ayat which which shows the intent against Muzik:
1) Among the people, there are those who uphold baseless Hadith, and thus divert others from the path of GOD without knowledge, and take it in vain. These have incurred a shameful retribution.(Sura 31: Luqman (Luqman)/ayat-6)
EXPLANATION:
"Lah wal hadith" is the focused word in this ayat.
Syedna Abdullah Bin Masood (R.A) said about this ayat "By God, it means sisgning (Muzik)"
Syedna Abdullah Bin Abbas (R.A) said about this ayat "This is singing and the stuff related to muzik"
And same point of view is from Hazrat Saeed bin yassar, Saeed Bin Jubair, Akarma and Qatada (R.A)
(Refrence pages from tafseer ibne Kaseer are attached)
===============================================================================
===============================================================================
2) Are you insisting on your ways(Playing/singing)? (Sura 53: The Stars (Al-Najm)/ayat 61)
Explanation:
The word "Samidoon" in this ayat means singing (from Yamani Arabic dictionary). This ayat is very intersting as before this ayat ALLAH (S.W.T) telling us about the Day of judgement and our behaviourz after listening these ayats.
==================================================================================
==================================================================================
3) "You may entice them with your voice, and mobilize all your forces and all your men against them, and share in their money and children, and promise them. Anything the devil promises is no more than an illusion (Sura 17: The Children of Israel (Bani Israel)/ayat 64)
Explanantion:
This is the wonderful ayat. This is ayat which scene out the conversation b/t ALLAH (S.W.T) and Satan. And here ALLAH is mentioning that satan can attack through his voice (singing/bad poetry/abusing/ use of bad language etc).So, we Muslims ALhamdolillah considerz Muzik + singing bad poetry as one of the voice od Satan.
==================================
========================================
This time sahi ahadiths are there:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Once Syedna Abdullah Bin Omar (R.A) was on the way with some other person. They heard the voice of flute by shepherd. He insert his fingers in the ears, changed the path and asked the companion:
"Are you still listning him"?
He Said: Yes............ & They keep on walking.
Finally the companion said: Now i can not listen him.
Then Syedna Ibne Omar (R.A) put his hands down and said:
"I myself observed Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) that wheen he heard the voice of flute - He (S.A.W) did the same".
(Sunan Abi Dawood - Book of Adab (Babul karahiya tul Ghana Wal Zumar)
EXPLANATION:
This is quite simple that Holy Prophet heard only the voice of Flute and how he responded. I dont know how one can say that singing (satanic peotry) with a lot of instruments is halal....
=======================================================================================
=======================================================================================
Syedna Abdur Rahman Bin Aouf (R.A) narrated that Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) said:
"Surely I am been prohibited from two voices of foolishness, adultry & profligacy (Fisq O Fajoor): On having some Blessing (happiness) - the voice of flute and on some trouble - weeping/crying in a loude voice.
(Tirmidhi - Kitbaul Janaiz (Babul Ma ja a Fi rukhsa Fil Baka a Alal Mayat)
Explanation:
Now how we behaves on marriages, on having some good news and on the time of Death........In this Hadith "weeping with a loud vioce on some trouble is a voice of foolishness and the singing/Muzik is a voice of adultry and profligacy.
This is the reason that Companions (Sahaba) considered muzik "FIrst step towards Zina (Adultry).
=======================================================================================
=======================================================================================
Ibne Omar (R.A) said that on the time of the death of Syedna Ibrahim (R.A)(son of prophet Muhammad (S.A.W)),eyes of prophet were flowing. I said:
"Ya rasool ALLAH - you forbade us but you (yourself) is weeping"????
Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) said:
"I dont block you to weep but i forbade you from two foolish and profligatic voices:Satanic fluets & Adultriotic acts in the time of Blessing (Happiness) and weeping/crying with satanic voices in time of trouble"
(Nasbur Raaya - Hadith number 36 (84/4))
EXPLANATION:
THis hadith is again same - more or less with the same theme as of Hadith number - 2.
===================================
====================================
its a wonderfull link
please check - a wonderful site for learning Quran with urdu traslation and tafseer
http://www.alketab.com/quran_18.asp
===================
====================================
Abdullah Bin Masood narrates from Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) that he asked:
O Prophet: What is the most superior Deed in Deen?
Prophet (S.A.W) replied: Offering Salat on time.
I asked: After that???
He replied: Dealing with parents in a good way.
I asked: After that???
He replied: Doing Jihad in the way of ALLAH.
(Sahi Bukhari)
Iyaka naabudu Wa Iyaka Nastaeen
"(Oh ALLAH) You are the only being we worship, you are the only being we ask for help"
=======================================
=================================
My Personal message :
plz start reading (Bilbe/Quran or whatever is your book) with translation and understanding. Let be a good believer. Change yourself today and you can change the world
Lets enjoy our lives being good believers.
Think Differently
==================================
====================================
Dear Broz/Sistrz,
Kindly Visit the following links please
http://www.quranurdu.com/books/urdu_books/
http://www.quranurdu.com/
http://www.quranenglish.com/
http://www.esnips.com/_t_/urdu+novels+pdf?q=urdu+novels+pdf
http://www.harunyahya.com/en.m_book_index.php
http://www.esnips.com/web/seezahir-IslamicBooks
http://www.esnips.com/web/urdu-kitabcha/
Well - My dear broz & Sistrz, Above given a re the trusted websites for very good Urdu material (islamic & Novels also)(For example you can get Tafseer Ibne kathir/Sahi Bukhari & Muslim/novels of differents writers and many more books in Faith related and other issues)
If somebody interested in all this and unable to download, kindly contact me and I can send them CDz with all this stuff INSHALLAH
2009年10月11日 14:29Re: hey
I am ordered
24, 羅馬尼亞
Asalamaulikum Every body
Lets have some nice jokes
=====================
In a small town, a person decided to open up his Bar business, which was right opposite to a Temple. The Temple & its congregation started a campaign to block the Bar from opening with petitions and prayed daily against his business.
Work progressed. However, when it was almost complete and was about to open a few days later, a strong lightning struck the Bar and it was burnt to the ground.
The temple folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, till the Bar owner sued the Temple authorities on the grounds that the Temple through its congregation and prayers was ultimately responsible for the demise of his bar shop, either through direct or indirect actions or means.
In its reply to the court, the temple vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection that their prayers were reasons to the bar shop's demise. As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork at the hearing and commented: "I don't know how I'm going to decide this case, but it appears from the paperwork, we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer and we have an entire temple and its devotees that doesn't."
======================
==============================
Poor Husband (Banta)
As the crowded elevator descended,
Banta's wife,
Preeto,
became increasingly furious with Banta,
who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous girl.
As the elevator stopped at the main floor,
the girl suddenly whirled,
slapped Banta,
and said,
"That will teach you to pinch!"
Bewildered,
Banta was halfway to the parking lot with Preeto when he choked, "I... I... didn't pinch that girl."
"Of course you didn't," said Preeto,
consolingly,
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"I did."
===============================
===============
======================================
Majic ........
Try it and find reason?????????????
????????????????????????????
????????????????????????????
MAGIC #1
Nobody can create a FOLDER anywhere
on the computer which can be named as "CON".
This is something pretty cool...and unbelievable...
At Microsoft the whole Team, couldn't answer why this happened!
TRY IT NOW, IT WILL NOT CREATE " CON " FOLDER
MAGIC #2
Microsoft crazy facts
This is something pretty cool and neat...and unbelievable...
At Microsoft the whole Team, including Bill Gates, couldn't answer why this happened!
It was discovered by a Brazilian. Try it out yourself...
Open Microsoft Word and type
=rand (200, 99)
and then press ENTER
===================================================
====================================================
George Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk, he offers question time.
One little boy puts up his hand and George asked, What is your name?
Bob
And what is your question, Bob?
I have 3 questions.
First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, why are you president when Al Gore got more votes?
Third, what happened to Osama bin laden?
Just then, the bell rings for recess.
George bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.
When they resume George says, Ok where were we?
Oh, that's right. Question time. Who has a question?
A different little boy raises his hand.
George points him out and asked him what is your name?
Steve
And what is your question Steve?
I have 5 questions.
First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of UN?
Second, why are you president when Al Gore got more votes?
Third, what happened to Osama bin laden?
Fourth, why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early?
Fifth, where is Bob?
its old but one can still enjoy
hahahaahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
======================================
=================================================
Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK?
Let's find out just how clever you really are.
Ready? GO!!! (scroll down slowly)
First Question:
You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are
absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!
Try not to screw up in the next question.
To answer the second question, don't take as much time as you took for the first question!
Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?
You're not very good at this! Are you?
Third Question:
Very tricky math! Note: This must be done in your head only.
Do NOT use paper! and pencil or a calculator. Try it.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000
Now add 10. What is the total?
Scroll down for answer.
Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100.
Don't believe it? Check with your calculator! Today is definitely not your day. Maybe you will get the last question right?!
Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini,
4. Nono.
What is the name of the fifth daughter?
Answer: Nunu?
NO! Of course not. Her name is Mary. Read the question again
Okay, now the bonus round.!
There is a mute person who wants to buy a toothbrush. By
imitating the action of brushing one's teeth he successfully
expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is
done.
Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of
sunglasses, how should he express himself?
He just has to open his mouth and ask, so simple.
KEEP THIS GOING TO FRUSTRATE THE SMART PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE!
=====================
hahhahahhaahahhahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
=====================================
=====================================================
A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.
The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.'
The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.
The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again.
I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.'
The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.
So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!... the husband became 92 years old.
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The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful should remember.... fairies are female too!
hahahaahheheehehhhhheeeheeeeeeeeeeeeeee
=================================
An older lady gets pulled over for speeding....
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car.. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
============================
=
MORAL:
Don't Mess With Little Old Ladies
hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
==================================
A Sardarji and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would like to play a fun game.
The Sardarji, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."
Again, he declines and tries to get some sleep.
The American, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5,and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."
This catches the Sardarji's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.
The American asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The Sardarji doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet,pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the American.
"Okay," says the American, "your turn".
He asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The American, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer & searches all his preferences........no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress... no answer.
Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.
After an hour, he wakes the Sardarji and hands him $500.
The Sardarji thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep.
The American, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the Sardarji and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the Sardarji reaches into his purse,hands the american $5,and goes back to sleep.
======================================
A Guy WAS chatting with a female - Online chat.
Background both are s/w engineers by the way and both work for real big MNC's
Hero: Hey...GM (Good Morning)... How's u doing today?
Female: VGM...Day is going good and it got better having found u on chat
Hero: wow...am honoured, u know what, my day starts only when I find you on
Chat
Female: Yep...me too feel the same...Brb (be right back)'ll get some Coffee.
Hero: OK(Hero waits impatiently. Meanwhile, his manager comes to his seat.)
Manager: Hey, I need some help from you
Hero: [**** This guy always comes at wrong time] Yeah tell me
Manager: Could u write a program for me which generates nth prime number,
Given value of n. Would you give this by today evening?
Hero: I would do that, but I think it's quite hard, is it ok with you,if I
Give it by tomorrow evening.
Manager: Yeah, that would be fine. Thank you [Leaves the place]
(Our hero sighs and stares at his monitor waiting impatiently for Female to
Arrive. All of a sudden smiles on his face. Over to chat window...)
Female: Hey, am back
Hero: cool, you know what my manager does, She's kinda..... keeps
asking stupid Things, tries to give me stupid work
Female: Yeah, it's the same everywhere. Real sick ppl these managers are!!
Hero: Yep, u rite!!
Female: Hey, can u do me a favor
Hero: *smiles* sure, why not.
Female: Hey, I want you to write me a program to print nth prime Number,
given N. Would you give that to me by tomorrow evening? Plzzz. You know it's
real Urgent for me to work this out
Hero: hey, that's a one-hour's work. Sure check Urmail in an hour from now.
ok?
Female: THIS IS WHAT I ASKED U WHEN I CAME TO YOUR WORK PLACE. NOW YOU KNOW
WHO I AM!! AND ONE MORE POINT.... YOUR 1 HOUR TIME STARTS NOW!!
====================
=================================
Broz/Sistrz:
Have fun but please be in positive way
THINK DIFFERENTLY==============
========================================
Lets have some nice jokes
=====================
In a small town, a person decided to open up his Bar business, which was right opposite to a Temple. The Temple & its congregation started a campaign to block the Bar from opening with petitions and prayed daily against his business.
Work progressed. However, when it was almost complete and was about to open a few days later, a strong lightning struck the Bar and it was burnt to the ground.
The temple folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, till the Bar owner sued the Temple authorities on the grounds that the Temple through its congregation and prayers was ultimately responsible for the demise of his bar shop, either through direct or indirect actions or means.
In its reply to the court, the temple vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection that their prayers were reasons to the bar shop's demise. As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork at the hearing and commented: "I don't know how I'm going to decide this case, but it appears from the paperwork, we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer and we have an entire temple and its devotees that doesn't."
======================
==============================
Poor Husband (Banta)
As the crowded elevator descended,
Banta's wife,
Preeto,
became increasingly furious with Banta,
who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous girl.
As the elevator stopped at the main floor,
the girl suddenly whirled,
slapped Banta,
and said,
"That will teach you to pinch!"
Bewildered,
Banta was halfway to the parking lot with Preeto when he choked, "I... I... didn't pinch that girl."
"Of course you didn't," said Preeto,
consolingly,
-
-
-
-
-
-
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-
-
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-
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-
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"I did."
===============================
===============
======================================
Majic ........
Try it and find reason?????????????
????????????????????????????
????????????????????????????
MAGIC #1
Nobody can create a FOLDER anywhere
on the computer which can be named as "CON".
This is something pretty cool...and unbelievable...
At Microsoft the whole Team, couldn't answer why this happened!
TRY IT NOW, IT WILL NOT CREATE " CON " FOLDER
MAGIC #2
Microsoft crazy facts
This is something pretty cool and neat...and unbelievable...
At Microsoft the whole Team, including Bill Gates, couldn't answer why this happened!
It was discovered by a Brazilian. Try it out yourself...
Open Microsoft Word and type
=rand (200, 99)
and then press ENTER
===================================================
====================================================
George Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk, he offers question time.
One little boy puts up his hand and George asked, What is your name?
Bob
And what is your question, Bob?
I have 3 questions.
First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, why are you president when Al Gore got more votes?
Third, what happened to Osama bin laden?
Just then, the bell rings for recess.
George bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.
When they resume George says, Ok where were we?
Oh, that's right. Question time. Who has a question?
A different little boy raises his hand.
George points him out and asked him what is your name?
Steve
And what is your question Steve?
I have 5 questions.
First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of UN?
Second, why are you president when Al Gore got more votes?
Third, what happened to Osama bin laden?
Fourth, why did the recess bell go 20 minutes early?
Fifth, where is Bob?
its old but one can still enjoy
hahahaahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
======================================
=================================================
Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK?
Let's find out just how clever you really are.
Ready? GO!!! (scroll down slowly)
First Question:
You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are
absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!
Try not to screw up in the next question.
To answer the second question, don't take as much time as you took for the first question!
Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?
You're not very good at this! Are you?
Third Question:
Very tricky math! Note: This must be done in your head only.
Do NOT use paper! and pencil or a calculator. Try it.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000
Now add 10. What is the total?
Scroll down for answer.
Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100.
Don't believe it? Check with your calculator! Today is definitely not your day. Maybe you will get the last question right?!
Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini,
4. Nono.
What is the name of the fifth daughter?
Answer: Nunu?
NO! Of course not. Her name is Mary. Read the question again
Okay, now the bonus round.!
There is a mute person who wants to buy a toothbrush. By
imitating the action of brushing one's teeth he successfully
expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is
done.
Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of
sunglasses, how should he express himself?
He just has to open his mouth and ask, so simple.
KEEP THIS GOING TO FRUSTRATE THE SMART PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE!
=====================
hahhahahhaahahhahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
=====================================
=====================================================
A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.
The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.'
The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.
The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again.
I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.'
The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.
So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!... the husband became 92 years old.
-
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--
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--
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--
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---
-
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-
-
-
-
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The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful should remember.... fairies are female too!
hahahaahheheehehhhhheeeheeeeeeeeeeeeeee
=================================
An older lady gets pulled over for speeding....
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car.. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
============================
=
MORAL:
Don't Mess With Little Old Ladies
hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
==================================
A Sardarji and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would like to play a fun game.
The Sardarji, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."
Again, he declines and tries to get some sleep.
The American, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5,and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."
This catches the Sardarji's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.
The American asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The Sardarji doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet,pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the American.
"Okay," says the American, "your turn".
He asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The American, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer & searches all his preferences........no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress... no answer.
Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.
After an hour, he wakes the Sardarji and hands him $500.
The Sardarji thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep.
The American, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the Sardarji and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the Sardarji reaches into his purse,hands the american $5,and goes back to sleep.
======================================
A Guy WAS chatting with a female - Online chat.
Background both are s/w engineers by the way and both work for real big MNC's
Hero: Hey...GM (Good Morning)... How's u doing today?
Female: VGM...Day is going good and it got better having found u on chat
Hero: wow...am honoured, u know what, my day starts only when I find you on
Chat
Female: Yep...me too feel the same...Brb (be right back)'ll get some Coffee.
Hero: OK(Hero waits impatiently. Meanwhile, his manager comes to his seat.)
Manager: Hey, I need some help from you
Hero: [**** This guy always comes at wrong time] Yeah tell me
Manager: Could u write a program for me which generates nth prime number,
Given value of n. Would you give this by today evening?
Hero: I would do that, but I think it's quite hard, is it ok with you,if I
Give it by tomorrow evening.
Manager: Yeah, that would be fine. Thank you [Leaves the place]
(Our hero sighs and stares at his monitor waiting impatiently for Female to
Arrive. All of a sudden smiles on his face. Over to chat window...)
Female: Hey, am back
Hero: cool, you know what my manager does, She's kinda..... keeps
asking stupid Things, tries to give me stupid work
Female: Yeah, it's the same everywhere. Real sick ppl these managers are!!
Hero: Yep, u rite!!
Female: Hey, can u do me a favor
Hero: *smiles* sure, why not.
Female: Hey, I want you to write me a program to print nth prime Number,
given N. Would you give that to me by tomorrow evening? Plzzz. You know it's
real Urgent for me to work this out
Hero: hey, that's a one-hour's work. Sure check Urmail in an hour from now.
ok?
Female: THIS IS WHAT I ASKED U WHEN I CAME TO YOUR WORK PLACE. NOW YOU KNOW
WHO I AM!! AND ONE MORE POINT.... YOUR 1 HOUR TIME STARTS NOW!!
====================
=================================
Broz/Sistrz:
Have fun but please be in positive way
THINK DIFFERENTLY==============
========================================
2009年7月4日 3:20asalam o aliakum
sabuktageen
23, 卡拉奇, 巴基斯坦
asalam o aliakum
2009年9月9日 11:38Dosti
kya roz garajtey ho, baras jao kisi din
Raazon ki tarha utro mere dil mein kisi shab
Dastak pe mere haath ki khul jao kisi din
Peron ki tarha Husan ki barish mein naha loon
Badal ki tarha jhoom kar gher aao kisi din
Khusboo ki tarha guzro mere dil ki gali se
Pholoon ki tarha mujh par bikhar jao kisi din
guzrain jo mere ghar se, to ruk jayen sitarey
is tarha meri raat ko chamkao kisi din
main apni har ek saans ussi raat ko de doon
sir rakh kar mere seeney par so jao kisi din