網誌
2007年5月1日 上午2點53分15秒Back to "Real Life"
April 30, 2007 Monday
3 days after Chrysalis; second last day of spring semester
The fourth trip going back to Bucknell in my first year after graduation is over.
Chrysalis was just so amazing. I saw the person I longed to see for so long, and I unleashed and dedicated the fullest of my silly dancing, of course. ^.^ I am more and more confirmed that she is the right person to pursue, in spite of both agreeing and disagreeing comments from different friends and my own doubt about myself.
Driving back to DC after senior celebration was tough, but the feeling is getting more and more "strange"...... a renewed awareness that I have really entered a new stage of life. A new horizon emerges in front of my eyes, just like the broadness that never ends along the Baltimore beltway. Even the sweet memories in Bucknell and the new relationships and responsibilities in DC are still pulling me apart, I started to gain a different kind of strength -- a strength to understand and experience life, a strength to pull these two worlds together to myself instead of getting pulled apart by them.
I miss her and love her very much. I felt confident and solid about this friendship that it will be transformed to something more beautiful, no matter what the result will be. This is unlike anything I have had before, when my affection to a female friend was very much dominated by superficial physical attraction, unhealthy feeling of obsession and false perception of intimacy.
I wish to see her again, no matter where she goes......
I also felt like I am not doing my best in everything in DC. There are just so much God-given energy, potential and talents that I haven't used well. There are just so many things I can be imbued by the inner-fire and do it with unrelenting passion. I cannot give up. I have a calling and a mission. When there is life, there is always hope.
Lord, I pray that you grant me this hope for future, in anything and everything, and empower me to seek it and pursue it -- all for your glory.