網誌
2006年11月27日 上午7點26分23秒After a journal review
November 27, 2006 Monday
Washington, DC
Spending a night to look through all the journal entries I have posted......
What a shock of the changes of my faith, my state of mind, even my attitude and tone within the words......
Should it be categorized as maturity, pessimism, or degrading?
Or some discipline/quality in the beginning I have missed and neglected?
2006年11月19日 上午7點10分41秒A hope for transformation
November 19, 2006 Sunday
Washington, DC
Tension, stress, ambarassment, awkwardness...... yeah, after an incompletely submitted assignment, an irrational "whinning" to my friend, hilarious miscommunication and unnecessary fear in a project, two nights of grad group meeting, a 9-minute wait for the next metro, and even a glimpse of the familiar faces in someone's facebook album......
I tried to look into the deepest part of my life, and ask God, "Why there is such an incompleteness in my personality, or in the essence of humanity?"
"If these things, experiences, feelings are meaningful, in what sense?"
"Will you transform me in the midst of these, even if there is no way out, if I am destined to wrestle with them till I die?"
"Will it be your implicit tiny voice, your master plan, or your channel of grace?"
"If yes, let me learn to take it. Let me learn to embrace you, recognize you and know your heart from this stage of life drama."
2006年11月6日 上午5點08分16秒Quick update
November 6, 2006
Washington DC
Nobody wants to give up such a great job in GW Information Security, so I can only wait, and wait...... until the background check reports me as a good global citizen, or terrorist ^.^
I love my service in the church: worship team pianist. Having served for the past three sundays, it's time for me to take a break and focus myself to God in the santuary again......
It's hard to live, in every aspect, like a saint, or plainly speaking, Christian. But it's my calling, my purpose and my life. Doing this won't earn me any favor from God, but every thankful person, who had inherited as an amazing grace, will not ignore such a little act of gratitude, a tiny speck of discomfort and obligation.
So, let it start.