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2004年9月29日 上午12點32分56秒A short entry again...... The three of the...
A short entry again...... The three of the greatest enemies of a college student are: 1.) Tiredness: Sleeping 3 hours every day, or even less, for the whole week...... 2.) Procrastination: It is pretty hard to define, but let me describe it in this way: - Once you receive an assignment, you think, "Yeah! There are lots of time!"; - When there is only one day left, "I can definitely finish that tonight!"; - When one hour before due, "I can do it in lightening speed, don't worry!"; - When you already have no time, "Well, professor is nice, I can make it up sometime!" And this cycle goes on and on...... c.) "Love" Dreams: In a more elegant and musical term, it is also known as "Liebestraume" or "Reve d'amour". For me, the most devastating of all. It draws away your attention, wastes your time, blurs your focus on life, and pulls down your spirituality. I'll beat them down. They can't reign in my college life!
2004年9月25日 下午4點55分05秒September 25, 2004 Saturday Things have been...
September 25, 2004 Saturday Things have been going crazy the past week. I know that not just me, many friends around me are exhausted too. (Tyler has not slept in Wednesday night; Shawn has been really stressed up and frustrated, from what I knew in his profile; Dave is having a family emergency and rushed back to home during weekend...... I am so sorry for all of you !_! ) In tons of academic, social and interpersonal obligations, we may get lost of life goal in the mist of business. In continuous procrastinations, spiritual lows, sins, failures and frustration, we may feel we are just so little and so weak. We can't do anything...... But thanks God, as Christian, I can strongly proclaim my faith with assurance that we are not hopeless. These things are not going forever. Our lives will be strengthened after passing all the tests and enduring all the temptations. Through all the adverseries, God will work on our lives in ways we have never imagined before. Even the most dreadful, ultimate enemy of humanity --- Death, have been defeated by our Lord Jesus Christ who resurrected from the tomb of darkness, what enemy else are we still not able to overcome? My dear friends, no matter you are Christians or not, I just want to encourage you that, God is loving you (even when you don't know him!) intensely and continually. Try to turn away from the study, hw and exams before you (just a tiny moment! ^.^) and look through all your problems through the heavenly eyes, and you'll find a totally new perspective of your life. Try it, I am sure you'll enjoy it! Finally, I espeically address the following paragraphs to those who have not yet embraced the love of Christ (mostly students with Asian ethinicity and CCA fellows). Christians are not a group of crazy guys and gals who only know about some sort of "Rock 'n Roll" worship (as you may hear in Intervarsity), or those mentally-fragile people who needs some kind of spiritual imaginations to relieve their pain in daily lives. They are the blessed people who really know what the true, ultimate purpose of life is. They have inner joy, hope and peace which can never be taken by anybody. They may fail, but will not be defeated; they may be defeated, but will not lose forever. They don't try to evade the adverseries and suffering in their lives, but they embrace them and live with them, just like Christ embraced the heavy cross to enter his glory. Why do they act like these? Because they have a solid foundation in their hearts, which is made of the purest Gold. Even the most fierce fire, the most powerful gust, the most threatening flood, cannot make it collapse or even shake a little bit. Do you have this solid foundation? If you don't have it, I will be very willing to show it to you.
2004年9月17日 上午2點57分49秒Today's entry will be pretty short because...
Today's entry will be pretty short because of the demanding Greek translations......
This Thursday is just like any other Thursday: class for Technical Communication in the morning, then work in TechDesk and meeting with Chinese food, then Comp Sci Lab with the assignment gracefully completed on time(Yay! I don't miss that anymore!), then a CCA meeting (I am so sorry that the ladies committees members are kind of messed up on the activities and ideas ^.^ The boys should claim more reponsibilities.....)
The climax of every Thursday is always Well - a time to praise God and listen to his words into my heart. The last song is so great and encouraging:
"I am trading my sorrows,
I am trading my shame,
I am laying them down for the joy of the Lord......"
For the Joy of The Lord! May the Lord always remind me that he provides hope and joy for me, no matter how difficult is the situation, and how complex is the people, and how low is my spirit. He is the source of revival - All the time!
2004年9月16日 上午6點01分55秒September 16, 2004 Thursday Perhaps it is...
September 16, 2004 Thursday
Perhaps it is the time to pick up my diary again......
Coming the 3rd year in college, 5th semester, I suddently find that time passed so quickly, without being noticed.
I still remember when two years ago, I sent out the letter replying the acceptance to Bucknell, I prayed. I put my decision of studying in US to God, firmly believing that he would lead me and guide me.
But now, a even greater challange, a decision even harder to make, is coming near as the time passes. Should I go back to Hong Kong, or stay here, or go somewhere after graduation? Can I still adjust to a crowded city which I have left to a college in a middle-Pennsylvania town for 4 years? Should I find a job, go to graduate school, or do some other things? Unlike the friends around me, I am not a US citizen or Pemanent Resident, and that means much more limited choices, and much higher difficulty.
A mixed feeling, between my distant home and my college, comes up in my mind...... I can't describe that with my limited words......
Many people may not understand how perplexing it is. I should always remind myself that my future way of life is so different. Few people in Bucknell has walked on the way which I am walking now. I should always remind myself that my future is so unclear and unpredictable, unless it is in the hands of God. I should always remind myself that my goal in these 4 years is find out what is God's plan on me, and what does he want me to do, in any way, to fulfill his will and glorify him. That's always my ultimate goal regardness of my daily mood, situation, or spirituality.
However, my mind seems not listening to my inner heart very well, and often trying to find its own way to fulfill all kinds of dreams and desires. My strong desire (I am not sure if it is sinful or just natural, but I am pretty sure that it is very inappropriate right now) pushes me to find a girl, have a date, and enjoy the intimate relationship from it. It also gives me many wonderful daysdreams and imaginations, wishing to have a beautiful, lovely "Christian" girl. These targets of dreams have never ceased to appear: in Chapel, in Intervarsity, in Bible Study, in Greek Class, in Music Building, in Orchestra, in......
Perhaps, at this time, I should strongly, seriously reaffirm to myself that I AM DIFFERENT. I don't mean that I am more pieous or superior than they are, but my situation and destiny is just different. I have more important goals in Bucknell, and these dreams are just too virtual to happen. (Don't think about playing piano for your "most dear" in a recital anymore......) How can I walk with a companion for my lifetime without knowing exactly my own goal, knowing where am I walking to? How can I share my inmost part - my faith - to my closest partner without first strengthen and deepen my faith enought, in love, wisdom and also maturity?
Somebody may say I am getting really crazy, but I am not afraid to open my heart totally to my Lord, without leaving any secrets, hidden places and sins inside:
Lord, if possible in your will,
take away my desires which enslave me,
take away those unrealistic dreams which deceive me,
take away the tensions from these which torture me,
and Lord, if possible in your absolute holiness,
take away everything which hinders my will to seek you and your will, no matter how tough and painful it is.
In Jesus name, Amen!