網誌
2006年12月4日 上午6點56分35秒More love I can pour
December 4, 2006
Washington, DC
There is always more love I can pour out from myself to others.......
To those sitting and eating quietly in GCC, to my work (yeah~~), to the brothers and sisters who helped me through the beginning in DC, to my family and old friends, to God......
There is always more love I can pour...... as long as my source does not run dry.
2006年11月27日 上午7點26分23秒After a journal review
November 27, 2006 Monday
Washington, DC
Spending a night to look through all the journal entries I have posted......
What a shock of the changes of my faith, my state of mind, even my attitude and tone within the words......
Should it be categorized as maturity, pessimism, or degrading?
Or some discipline/quality in the beginning I have missed and neglected?
2006年11月19日 上午7點10分41秒A hope for transformation
November 19, 2006 Sunday
Washington, DC
Tension, stress, ambarassment, awkwardness...... yeah, after an incompletely submitted assignment, an irrational "whinning" to my friend, hilarious miscommunication and unnecessary fear in a project, two nights of grad group meeting, a 9-minute wait for the next metro, and even a glimpse of the familiar faces in someone's facebook album......
I tried to look into the deepest part of my life, and ask God, "Why there is such an incompleteness in my personality, or in the essence of humanity?"
"If these things, experiences, feelings are meaningful, in what sense?"
"Will you transform me in the midst of these, even if there is no way out, if I am destined to wrestle with them till I die?"
"Will it be your implicit tiny voice, your master plan, or your channel of grace?"
"If yes, let me learn to take it. Let me learn to embrace you, recognize you and know your heart from this stage of life drama."
2006年11月6日 上午5點08分16秒Quick update
November 6, 2006
Washington DC
Nobody wants to give up such a great job in GW Information Security, so I can only wait, and wait...... until the background check reports me as a good global citizen, or terrorist ^.^
I love my service in the church: worship team pianist. Having served for the past three sundays, it's time for me to take a break and focus myself to God in the santuary again......
It's hard to live, in every aspect, like a saint, or plainly speaking, Christian. But it's my calling, my purpose and my life. Doing this won't earn me any favor from God, but every thankful person, who had inherited as an amazing grace, will not ignore such a little act of gratitude, a tiny speck of discomfort and obligation.
So, let it start.
2006年10月31日 上午6點56分05秒A tribute to J.S. Bach
October 31, 2006 Tuesday
Washington, DC
This one is not about me, but about a master in western art music and a deeply spiritual Christian, Johanne Sebastian Bach (1685-1750), whom I truly revere.
The more I listened and played to his "monotonous", "boring", "too complex" and "all-sounds-like-the-same" music, the more I discovered his greatness, which is easily overlooked and neglected by the public who just want louder sound (this is what I hate the most about American rock-n-roll) and more sensual stimulation to their ear drums. His music is well-thought and well-planned. Listening and playing to these sublime polyphony requires the most attentive ears, the most humble heart, the most genuine self and the most engaging intellect and soul. It doesn't generates a crazy arousel or fanatic bravos or standing ovations from the pumped-up audience, like those in the later generations of romanticism. But for the audience who take it seriously, it doesn't make them fall asleep either. It transforms the space-time between the performers and the listeners, and humbles both sides of them. It manifests itself the nature of being just music: logical, purposeful, unadulterated, pure, aesthetic, life-constructing, redeeming...... and most of all, spiritual.
And Bach, who wrote "S.D.G", which means "Soli Deo Gloria" (Only to God be the glory), at the ends of cycles like Well-Tempered-Clavier and the eternal St. Matthew Passion, is just such a composer who dedicated himself, his life and everything, into writing good music that truly manifests itself, all for the glory of God. Not mentioning all the amazing modulations and harmonic progressions, and all those sublime BACH numerology and christological symbols, his music humbles me down. I must admit that all my musical training and performance record is nothing when I sit down quietly and started playing some of his most intricate preludes and fugues in WTC, let alone the Holy One who created the harmony of the universe and Bach's creativity to realize this into the physical realm. His music transformed my ideas about music, practice and performance unlike anything before.
J.S. Bach, I truly revere you. You must be enjoying every moment in heaven, where the unending worship with uncountable voices and instruments is prevailing. Indeed, you had been doing this throughout your passing-by on earth, and you would surely do it at home.