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keamiçš„ä¸»é http://hk.zorpia.com/keami Sat, 07 Nov 2009 21:50 EST Sat, 07 Nov 2009 21:50 EST Zorpia.com No more faltering http://hk.zorpia.com/keami/journal/1683888 May 23, 2007   Wednesday Two days before GCC RetreatToday I made it again.  My mind and spirit are not totally focused yet, but I know it's the right thing to do and I did it!I got up at 7am again, and sat in front of the stairs of Lincoln Memorial, and spent my time that is merely a tiny portion of what He fully deserves.No more faltering and stepping back after feeling great and dizzy for a day or a few days!  Always insist on doing what is right, what is honorable and what truly pleases Him...... that's probably the most important point I got from the Screwtape Letters up to now.Lord, humble me, teach me and bless me in the process. Personal http://hk.zorpia.com/keami/journal/1683888 Wed, 23 May 2007 00:36 EST Congratulations http://hk.zorpia.com/keami/journal/1682965 May 20, 2007   Sunday One day before the 1st Anniversary since graduation of Bucknell class 2006Today, all the class of 2007 friends joined me in the new life of a Bucknell Alumni.I know how it feels.  For me, it was a mixture of all the emotions and memories and ultimately exploded into intense excitement, nervousness and tears.One year has almost passed.  Now I can start to look back to those times with a new sense of calmness -- a very strange feeling to me even till today.I don't know how to explain it, or how to express it.But I love you all, miss you all, and wish myself would be there to witness all the memories of one year ago now living in you, and support you there.Congratulations, my friends in Bucknell class of 2007!  I wish you the best in your future lives! Personal http://hk.zorpia.com/keami/journal/1682965 Sun, 20 May 2007 14:55 EST A great day! http://hk.zorpia.com/keami/journal/1680554 May 14, 2007   Monday One week before the 1st anniversary since graduationI feel really great today!  Never have my mind been such clear and my soul such optimistic for quite a long while......I got up at 7:25am (it's supposed to be 7am, though), then I just dressed up quickly, walked through the National Mall, and sat in front of the Lincoln Memorial, facing the reflecting fool, Washington Monument and Capitol, all whitened by the brilliance of the rising sun.Then I spent about 20 minutes, reading Bible and talking with God. Then I walked back to Foggy Bottom with a different path in the park, with birds, ducks and squirrels surrounding me, flying, dancing and singing...... until I went back to 7-11 next to those federal buildings, and got a donut and coffee breakfast before heading home.Getting up early and spending time with God is just awesome!  I should keep doing this, given that such a nice national park is only a 10-minute walk away from my home...... jealous huh? Personal http://hk.zorpia.com/keami/journal/1680554 Mon, 14 May 2007 08:39 EST Upcoming summer...... http://hk.zorpia.com/keami/journal/1678067 May 7, 2007   Monday 2 weeks before the 1st anniversary since graduationNow: finishing the damned research project and cryptanalysis assignment!May 11/12/13(?): Contra dancing party (yeah!) + GW InterVarsity graduate fellowship year-end celebrationMay 14: Cryptography finalMay 17/19: GCC Worship team dinner May 18: Lang Lang with NSO playing Tchaikovsky PC No.1 --> awesome!May 20: Volunteering GW Commencement, earning extra cash May 25-27: GCC Retreat in Virginia!June 9: A wedding service for Troy & Shon by GCCJune 16: Kaley & Dusty's wedding!June 18: tentative date of flying back to Hong KongJune 21: Yin Shing Hung (a.k.a. Keami) will has been existing in this world, by the grace of God, for exactly 8400 days ~> 23 years.  This is the day that the Lord has made! (I would probably hear a familiar voice, very likely Mom, saying: "Time to grow up, boy!") ......July 1: 10th Anniversary since Hong Kong's return back to China.  What a change...... Personal http://hk.zorpia.com/keami/journal/1678067 Mon, 07 May 2007 22:26 EST Unproductive http://hk.zorpia.com/keami/journal/1677184 May 5, 2007   Saturday 16 days before the 1st graduation anniversaryI hate myself being so unproductive; so lazy; so unmotivated......Why?Am I wasting my life?Is there a possibility to change? Personal http://hk.zorpia.com/keami/journal/1677184 Sat, 05 May 2007 22:45 EST Back to "Real Life" http://hk.zorpia.com/keami/journal/1675197 April 30, 2007   Monday 3 days after Chrysalis; second last day of spring semesterThe fourth trip going back to Bucknell in my first year after graduation is over. Chrysalis was just so amazing.  I saw the person I longed to see for so long, and I unleashed and dedicated the fullest of my silly dancing, of course. ^.^  I am more and more confirmed that she is the right person to pursue, in spite of both agreeing and disagreeing comments from different friends and my own doubt about myself.Driving back to DC after senior celebration was tough, but the feeling is getting more and more "strange"...... a renewed awareness that I have really entered a new stage of life.  A new horizon emerges in front of my eyes, just like the broadness that never ends along the Baltimore beltway.  Even the sweet memories in Bucknell and the new relationships and responsibilities in DC are still pulling me apart, I started to gain a different kind of strength -- a strength to understand and experience life, a strength to pull these two worlds together to myself instead of getting pulled apart by them.I miss her and love her very much.  I felt confident and solid about this friendship that it will be transformed to something more beautiful, no matter what the result will be.  This is unlike anything I have had before, when my affection to a female friend was very much dominated by superficial physical attraction, unhealthy feeling of obsession and false perception of intimacy.I wish to see her again, no matter where she goes......I also felt like I am not doing my best in everything in DC.  There are just so much God-given energy, potential and talents that I haven't used well.  There are just so many things I can be imbued by the inner-fire and do it with unrelenting passion.  I cannot give up.  I have a calling and a mission.  When there is life, there is always hope.Lord, I pray that you grant me this hope for future, in anything and everything, and empower me to seek it and pursue it -- all for your glory. Personal http://hk.zorpia.com/keami/journal/1675197 Mon, 30 Apr 2007 21:53 EST Major Update http://hk.zorpia.com/keami/journal/1673654 April 26, 2007   Thursday One day before ChrysalisJust a major update over different features on my journal.I know...... this website has been pretty lame since I started doing such a crazy thing called online journaling back in August 2004, the age of innocence and silliness, symbolized by pretty TYAC summer-camp commitment cards with drawings of cute sheeps on them ^.^ (right now I still have one, the Aug 2006 version).But starting from now, I hope that from the website ingenuity, great insights and deeper thoughts will spring out even more than ever.  It's quite interesting to see how I've let my emotions out in all previous journals, when I am not aware, nor have I intended to, that I am surrounded by many friends, both from Hong Kong and US, over this cyberworld.Now, these friends are actually not absent when I plunge myself into the sea of HTTP packets, and the ways I think about them have gone through drastic changes, just as they have probably had when they first took a curious search, found this site, and were surprised, shocked, or scared. ^.^Anyway...... enjoy the new stage, and have your beautiful and honorable self updated. Personal http://hk.zorpia.com/keami/journal/1673654 Thu, 26 Apr 2007 20:28 EST Shocked by a person's history...... http://hk.zorpia.com/keami/journal/1672816 April 24, 2007   Tuesday 3 days before ChrysalisTotally shocked.A random and spontaneous search of that special, familiar screename revealed me a complex story, a very long period and forwards and backwards, ups and downs, a process of huge transformation, a person so much more real and three-dimensional that I had ever known of, thought of and dreamed of!I was ashamed in the beginning, because I can hardly call myself a good computer science expert when I totally neglected such an insightful information, such a rich resource, on internet (just a popular journal!) for so long since the tiniest friendship developed.  And of course, I certainly felt insecure that my journaling life is not "active" and rich enough to be commensurate of my belief, mindset and worldview.  I felt even more insecure when my self-categorization is a close friend, while I was pretty much outside the circle......As I read on...... these feelings are all completely swept away by so much gratitude, shock, awe and fascination.  A deep sense of humility filled all the way to my joints and bone marrow.  The mental cage is shattered, the chain is broken.  I walked out, looked at the sky, smelled the scent of freedom and grace, just as our savior bestowed on both of us in the very very beginning...... totally speechless.If my crazy CS342 project permits, hopefully I can read through the whole journal, both the "Vol I and II", in chronological order to get prepared to meet the person in bone and flesh -- just as I first met Jesus himself. Personal http://hk.zorpia.com/keami/journal/1672816 Tue, 24 Apr 2007 14:20 EST In the midst of overwhelming loneliness...... http://hk.zorpia.com/keami/journal/1659582 March 23, 2007   Friday 16 days before baptismIn the midst of overwhelming loneliness, dark night of the soul......  I know...... I just wish so much that I can call her, write a long romantic letter to her, and pour out everything in my heart to her...... as if she's my savior and ever-present helper.I know...... I just wrote a long and profound(!) confession, realizing so much about myself, my weaknesses, my deeply-rooted insecurities traced back to the distant past.  I cried out for mercy, for help, for a renewal and transformation of life.And I know...... I am going to get baptized soon.  At this critical time, I certainly know what I should focus on, whom I should rely and trust, and why I decided to commit my life to the mystery of baptismal water and its covenant.But I am lonely!  I am SO LONELY!Argh......................................................................................................................................................... ......................................... Lord, would you come and fill this empty space? "God grant me the serenity, to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference." ~ Reinhold Niebuhr   Personal http://hk.zorpia.com/keami/journal/1659582 Fri, 23 Mar 2007 00:21 EST Keami's Paslm 42 http://hk.zorpia.com/keami/journal/1631192 January 3, 2007    Wednesday Washington, DCAs the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God? My tears have been my food day and night, while the "real world" tell me all day long, "Where is your God?" These things I remember as I pour out my soul: how I used to go to the house of God under the protection of the Mighty One with shouts of joy and praise among the festive throng.Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.My soul is downcast within me; therefore I will remember you from the land of Pomatac, the heights of Appalachian, the area of Foggy Bottom. Deep calls to deep in the roar of your Great Falls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me.By day the LORD directs his love, at night his song is with me -- a prayer to the God of my life.I say to God my Rock, "why have you forgotten me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?" My spirit suffer deep agony as powers and authorities taunt me, saying to me all day long, "Where is your God?"Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. Personal http://hk.zorpia.com/keami/journal/1631192 Wed, 03 Jan 2007 14:12 EST More love I can pour http://hk.zorpia.com/keami/journal/1620988 December 4, 2006 Washington, DCThere is always more love I can pour out from myself to others.......To those sitting and eating quietly in GCC, to my work (yeah~~), to the brothers and sisters who helped me through the beginning in DC, to my family and old friends, to God......There is always more love I can pour...... as long as my source does not run dry. Personal http://hk.zorpia.com/keami/journal/1620988 Mon, 04 Dec 2006 02:56 EST After a journal review http://hk.zorpia.com/keami/journal/1618296 November 27, 2006    Monday Washington, DCSpending a night to look through all the journal entries I have posted......What a shock of the changes of my faith, my state of mind, even my attitude and tone within the words......Should it be categorized as maturity, pessimism, or degrading?Or some discipline/quality in the beginning I have missed and neglected? Personal http://hk.zorpia.com/keami/journal/1618296 Mon, 27 Nov 2006 03:26 EST A hope for transformation http://hk.zorpia.com/keami/journal/1615026 November 19, 2006    Sunday Washington, DCTension, stress, ambarassment, awkwardness...... yeah, after an incompletely submitted assignment, an irrational "whinning" to my friend, hilarious miscommunication and unnecessary fear in a project, two nights of grad group meeting, a 9-minute wait for the next metro, and even a glimpse of the familiar faces in someone's facebook album......I tried to look into the deepest part of my life, and ask God, "Why there is such an incompleteness in my personality, or in the essence of humanity?""If these things, experiences, feelings are meaningful, in what sense?""Will you transform me in the midst of these, even if there is no way out, if I am destined to wrestle with them till I die?""Will it be your implicit tiny voice, your master plan, or your channel of grace?""If yes, let me learn to take it.  Let me learn to embrace you, recognize you and know your heart from this stage of life drama." Personal http://hk.zorpia.com/keami/journal/1615026 Sun, 19 Nov 2006 03:10 EST Quick update http://hk.zorpia.com/keami/journal/1609750 November 6, 2006 Washington DC Nobody wants to give up such a great job in GW Information Security, so I can only wait, and wait...... until the background check reports me as a good global citizen, or terrorist ^.^I love my service in the church: worship team pianist.  Having served for the past three sundays, it's time for me to take a break and focus myself to God in the santuary again......It's hard to live, in every aspect, like a saint, or plainly speaking, Christian.  But it's my calling, my purpose and my life.  Doing this won't earn me any favor from God, but every thankful person, who had inherited as an amazing grace, will not ignore such a little act of gratitude, a tiny speck of discomfort and obligation.So, let it start. Personal http://hk.zorpia.com/keami/journal/1609750 Mon, 06 Nov 2006 01:08 EST A tribute to J.S. Bach http://hk.zorpia.com/keami/journal/1607030 October 31, 2006    Tuesday Washington, DCThis one is not about me, but about a master in western art music and a deeply spiritual Christian, Johanne Sebastian Bach (1685-1750), whom I truly revere.The more I listened and played to his "monotonous", "boring", "too complex" and "all-sounds-like-the-same" music, the more I discovered his greatness, which is easily overlooked and neglected by the public who just want louder sound (this is what I hate the most about American rock-n-roll) and more sensual stimulation to their ear drums.  His music is well-thought and well-planned.  Listening and playing to these sublime polyphony requires the most attentive ears, the most humble heart, the most genuine self and the most engaging intellect and soul.  It doesn't generates a crazy arousel or fanatic bravos or standing ovations from the pumped-up audience, like those in the later generations of romanticism.  But for the audience who take it seriously, it doesn't make them fall asleep either.  It transforms the space-time between the performers and the listeners, and humbles both sides of them.  It manifests itself the nature of being just music: logical, purposeful, unadulterated, pure, aesthetic, life-constructing, redeeming...... and most of all, spiritual. And Bach, who wrote "S.D.G", which means "Soli Deo Gloria" (Only to God be the glory), at the ends of cycles like Well-Tempered-Clavier and the eternal St. Matthew Passion, is just such a composer who dedicated himself, his life and everything, into writing good music that truly manifests itself, all for the glory of God.  Not mentioning all the amazing modulations and harmonic progressions, and all those sublime BACH numerology and christological symbols, his music humbles me down.  I must admit that all my musical training and performance record is nothing when I sit down quietly and started playing some of his most intricate preludes and fugues in WTC, let alone the Holy One who created the harmony of the universe and Bach's creativity to realize this into the physical realm.  His music transformed my ideas about music, practice and performance unlike anything before.  J.S. Bach, I truly revere you.  You must be enjoying every moment in heaven, where the unending worship with uncountable voices and instruments is prevailing.  Indeed, you had been doing this throughout your passing-by on earth, and you would surely do it at home.   Personal http://hk.zorpia.com/keami/journal/1607030 Tue, 31 Oct 2006 02:56 EST