網誌
2004年11月2日 上午4點55分07秒November 1, 2004 Monday This entry is pretty...
November 1, 2004 Monday This entry is pretty unorganized. If you don't understand it, that's fine. The picture will be clearer as more journal entries are posted. A long period of struggle, retreat, more struggle, a awesome weekend, wonderful worship and friends, study, and even more struggles coming...... What are their purpose? For a Christian, the most important question in daily life is always this one: What are God's purposes on these things/events??? Just 24 hours before the CSCI and Greek exam, I was worshipping, praising, enjoying every moment with my friends and brothers and sisters in Christ. And 24 hours later, I was so depressed of how horribly I have done in exams. What a contrast is that...... After I left the exam room in Dana, 5 minutes after 10am, I walked slowly on the hallway, totally exhausted and depressed, head facing straight down on the floor. It would not be a good time to let my Christian friends see me like this. I walked towards the water-drinking fountain, while my eyes were almost going to have a flooding. Suddenly, a Chinese voice I knew very well (It's espeically powerful to me since it was my native language) appeared in my mind: 就是少年人也要疲乏困倦， 強壯的也必全然跌倒﹔ 但那等候耶和華的， 必從新得力。 他們必如鷹展翅上騰， 他們奔跑卻不困倦， 行走卻不疲乏。 （以賽亞書40:30-31） English translation: Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. The will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. (Isaiah 40:30-31) What's the purpose of all the toughness and difficulties? For a non-Christian, they are meaningless and don't even do any good at all. For me, however, they have purposes which we can see from a farther and broader spiritual insight, from the heavenly eyes, from the perspective of God. It also reminded me that faith is not just contained in energetic worships, wonderful Bible studies, messages and retreats, beautiful hymns and songs, and any kind of church-centered environment. Faith is the strongest in the midst of suffering and difficulties. It is the most powerful in daily lives with perseverence and steadfast. The hardships only strengthen and refine it, but won't destroy it. This is proved in the history of Christianity in Roman Empire and modern communist China. "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:2-4) Lord, thank you for reminding me that you are the one who gives blessings, joy and happiness as well as testings, difficulties, depression and sadness. I commit myself to love you and follow you all the time, for your will is way too good for us to imagine; your love is way too big for us to pay back. What can I do before you when I look weary, weak and get stuck in my brain memory? I can only come before you and ask for your help. My Lord the redeemer, the rock, the salvation! You will surely walk with me on every coming exam and test, however big they are! Amen!