網誌
2007年4月24日 下午7點20分23秒Shocked by a person's history......
April 24, 2007 Tuesday
3 days before Chrysalis
Totally shocked.
A random and spontaneous search of that special, familiar screename revealed me a complex story, a very long period and forwards and backwards, ups and downs, a process of huge transformation, a person so much more real and three-dimensional that I had ever known of, thought of and dreamed of!
I was ashamed in the beginning, because I can hardly call myself a good computer science expert when I totally neglected such an insightful information, such a rich resource, on internet (just a popular journal!) for so long since the tiniest friendship developed. And of course, I certainly felt insecure that my journaling life is not "active" and rich enough to be commensurate of my belief, mindset and worldview. I felt even more insecure when my self-categorization is a close friend, while I was pretty much outside the circle......
As I read on...... these feelings are all completely swept away by so much gratitude, shock, awe and fascination. A deep sense of humility filled all the way to my joints and bone marrow. The mental cage is shattered, the chain is broken. I walked out, looked at the sky, smelled the scent of freedom and grace, just as our savior bestowed on both of us in the very very beginning...... totally speechless.
If my crazy CS342 project permits, hopefully I can read through the whole journal, both the "Vol I and II", in chronological order to get prepared to meet the person in bone and flesh -- just as I first met Jesus himself.