網誌
2006年6月8日 上午10點19分12秒Desperate Job-hunting...... and life-hunting too
July 12, 2006 Wednesday
In father's Office, Hong Kong
"Pilot??!! Hahahahaha............................." I can't believe that's my mom's response.
All these conversations began when the wonderful senior year came.
First, not sure about anything, hoping for World Vision in US, then World Vision in HK,
...... a broad and hopeful vision, but illed preparation and hopeless cling :-(
Then, a good news from Laura (and herself already a good news) prompted me to consider teaching Chinese in St. Andrews...... Chinese? What kind of Mandarin speakers you are?
I'm freak out; I started scanning through "Jiu Jik", browsing website franatically, only found those jobs that require working at Sunday; I hated it......
I turned my focus to Airport jobs (hmmmm....), Hong Kong Correction Services (i.e. in prison), Customs (checking ID and "RMC -> Returning Mainland Card" everyday ;-|), and youth pilot program......
Then, guess what? GW admitted me. The "First application form effect" here worked again. The last time happened when I applied to Bucknell.
But then? I don't know. Why am I so disillusioned such that the broad, noble visions are blurred? The result of throwing oneself into spiritual wasteland, such that Hong Kong's televangelism (in Chinese!) now looks not just extremely annoying, but something that stinks, pierces to the heart, that I must avoid at all cost?
And do I still like TYAC? Where is the unrelenting longing, passion and enthusiasm running straight down from the bus stop to 17 Chung Mei Estate? Something more than cultural shock happened......
...... waiting for I-20 in nervousness is not an excuse, neither uncertainties of responses from DC and Lauren. It was something deeper within...... beyond what I almost thought and did late every night......
............ turn back. Before it's too late......