網誌
2005年4月28日 上午1點50分00秒
everyone is graduating, but me..urrgh
i am on the list of hall graduating students...i tried explain to ppl involved that i'm not graduating tis semester...so that i shldnt be on stage, getting my own share of souvenir...but they said..
my floor dun hav ppl graduating tis year, but they still need a rep of some kind to get souvenirs during high table...so sby shld be there and i should be there, as a third year student. what tis logic behind? cant they see that when there is no ppl graduating, there is no need for souvenirs? it's AS SIMPLE AS THAT!
i hate explaining to ppl that i will be studying for my first degree till december AND
i hate answering how can i get a job when i'm graduating in december PLUS
i hate responding to ppl why i need to exchange for one semester ALSO
i hate answering the concern of whether i need to pay 42,000 as my composition fee next year
SO,
i tell you all NOW that
i have to stay on hku campus for ANOTHER semester TILL DECEMBER because i was in PARIS for ONE SEMESTER EXCHANGE yes, it's ONLY a semester, so i EXTEND ANOTHER semester. and i did NOT have ANY of my credits tranferred because i wanted to have FUN then, plus courses in sciences po(my sch) are SUPER DIFFICULT, FRENCH, POSTGRADUATE COURSES, so i dun wanna risk my GPA. i will be like anyone, hunting for jobs when i'm almost done school. so meaning, i'm not getting a job NOW and will try get a job SOON. and i still have NO PLANS if i cannot get a job RIGHT AFTER GRADUATION as there won't be much offer in december. on top of that, i ABSOLUTELY have no idea about HOW MUCH i have to pay.
it was a shock for me to realize only a couple days ago, until my frd told me... that they are graduating and there's still only two weeks school...i simply cant aware of that...as i dun really have tis feeling of leaving school. after realizing that, it's sad and weird. but wish ya all luck in the future.
2005年4月24日 下午5點55分00秒
havnt been updated on for quite some time despite words of extreme emotions. ppl, pls spare, been tis roller coaster like for weeks, perhaps, months, or years n well..all along. i'm trying to be normal, as always. huh.
schedule and the never-ever-end-to-do list didnt get anyway shorter/briefer/less demanding. meaning, life's been tis fed up with assignments, readings, presentations, tutorials prepartion, papers, term paper, test. oh and projects. well, students, all ya can name it. exam time table basically sucks. and most of the time, i screwed them up. how pathetic.
good news is (i bet tis almost like the only good news for weeks), got accepted by a summer school. a french one. wonderful that i'm heading back to ile-de-france. mais, i'm thinkin of not accepting the offer. do want to wait till the french internship thing. i need work experience. esp when i have none. and really dun wanna waste family money for my own sake. when we chong yaus have tea the other day (another very joyful occasion to note indeed, carefree chat), baron's words did struck me...he said sth like, "ya always spend money, but dun earn money" another item to TOP my PATHETIC LIST...urrgh. n my mom actually mummble sth similar. (gosh, is that meanin..baron becomin my mom? jst jokin) but definitely needa ponder on tis issue. afterall, being a 21-year-old, an adult, LITERALLY SPEAKING, i definitely need to be more independent. at least, financially speaking.
met up tracey for a wonderful dinner. thanks for your words. i mean it. yes, it's still the confidence issue. the change thingy. the before-and-after thing. gosh, roomie, ya sorta bring me back to life here. thanks a lot. yes, perhaps, i deserve a much better self-treatment. not demand too much from myself. not pushing myself to do tis and that, all at the same time. focused. i felt so much better after that talk. it's like gaining myself back. finally. i'm trying to gather those missing parts. and tried to glue them into one. working through.
the roommate that i'm currently living with, yes, you mina. is disappearing from my life as she's retreating back to her room for her finals revision. and so do most medic floormates. life on 16th floor is sort of dead n quiet. well, sometimes. but thanks angela for having so much fun in foto-making..haha.
spent a nice sunday with family. went to tea house. been like tis binge eating! but i sort of miss that. gosh, how long hav i not having dim sums? i dun even bother to count. well, they're not really that savory..but it's still dim sums. haha. LOTS of shopping with mom n sis, preparing b-day thingy for papa. oh btw, josci, seems like dad doesnt like the RED shirt...hmm..gotta do sth on it.
did some sports over the weekend. felt jolly good after sweating. must keep up. but basically shattered the very same night and the next day after. thus, making myself addictive to the massage couch at home..n i guess i had too much of it..so when i woke up the next morning, i felt myself shattered into pieces... every tiny frangments of my bone ACHES!
tidied up my room, the one at home. FINALLY can empty some of the bkshelves which is a task of immense difficulties. esp when i DUN wanna throw away my cert-level PLUS a level eng.lit and history notes...sorta read some of them over. n finally discovered how resoureful i then was. well.. at least my teachers were..giving us copies n copies of readings...those u-level ones for christ's sake. will be able to engage only very little collection that i have here at hall. shld get a bigger room. perhaps i shld start throwing away stuff in the living room...so that i can extend my territory/sphere of influence!
flipped thru sch magaizines..n discovered that...one tutor of mine is actually a past st. marian. haha. how small the world is. n she hasnt changed over the TEN years at all...yes..thas my first former sch mag..n it's been ten years from now. HOW TIME FLIES! urrghh..another ten years.
well...do needa get some sleep before tmr's harsh day from 10-6 non stop, no break. might meet up the director from sci po..well maybe not. it depends. didnt really sleep well STILL. been really dreaming tis lot that i actually feel so tired, tis very tired when i got up as if i have not slept at all. even on weekends. n those are really night mares. painful memories. sigh. wish me having a sweet dream. i need it.
2005年4月20日 上午3點23分00秒
Voila !!! Paris pour cet t !!!
2005年4月18日 下午3點56分00秒
i'm not tryin to be real evil or what..but i honestly feel jolly good when i read da mail...it's from my tutor who is sick as well...sayin that we dun needa go to class tmr!!! bravo!!! get some sleep...cos i'm not that well either. haha, lucky moi!
2005年4月17日 上午7點43分00秒
people, when you are picking up stones and want to throw them all to embassy of some kind and
when you are shouting chants, asking your fellows to boycott others' goods...
just a second before all your emotion-driven actions
can you ask yourself
why have you and your ancesters been doing all these centuries?
what have you been doing for all these years?
why that others are making state-of-the-art, high tech, assured quality goods when you are still notorious for pirated n crappy stuff (at least most of the time)?
why many in your country are still starving?
why many in your country are still being deprived the chance of education?
if you are boasting your country as a civilized state which has been contributing to the world for centuries, can you stop all these barbarious acts?