網誌
2004年11月30日 上午6點36分00秒
depiction of current emotional state: FALLING...
2004年11月30日 上午5點45分00秒
skipped the class tis morning..i hate maself so...
nwaz, finished the media paper, super harsh in restricting maself in typing only 800 words...havnt written such a short paper for long..better train maself into more journalistic style...or jst more a literary piece...i miss the days wheh i'm so free to try write my goin-to-be-published-novel-and-tops-the-bestseller for no good...or jst put down words for a babbling poem...nwaz..hope i can get good grade...it worths 50% altogether...
then get to the ipe tutorial, got back my paper which only got a B+ and A- for the presentation..feel bad tho..*i know what ya might pop up in your mind, but pls..let met finish tis first...* last time i only got a B for the essay..so i hav really put much effort in doing the second one...seems it doesnt pay off...maybe i'm not tis self-actualized enuv to build up my self-esteem that not based on others' perception or comments(i.e. giving me a not-that-satisfactory-B+-grade)..n many times i jst lapse into tis hoping-somebody-will-praise-me-state and getting back like a child thingy...i know very clear from my psy txtbook that...tis isnt healthy..tis isnt what one should feel bout oneself bout its self-esteem..it shldnt be based on others' merits...but from what ya believe in yaself to become...
so..the root problem is..i dun really know what i wanna become...and the very first questioni is what am i...
seriously, my confidence level has sorta diminished to such a low that i hardly believe the-now-me is the-really-me
shld i jst go head straight to see that somebody...
retreating back to the syndrome...
2004年11月29日 上午2點26分39秒it's a matter of how ya see it it's a matter...
it's a matter of how ya see it
it's a matter of perception
it's a matter of subjective interpretation of the objective facts
it's living in your own little word,
creating your own world,
and blockin others to get involve in it.
lost in imagination.
oh, by the way...
i'm wondering if i am actually suffering from symptoms of OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER
2004年11月28日 下午3點14分00秒
i'm wondering if i am actually suffering from symptoms of OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER of keep cheking email...reading ppl's xanga...seaching new destinations...but not studying :(
2004年11月28日 上午7點14分00秒
it's a matter of how ya see it
it's a matter of perception
it's a matter of subjective interpretation of the objective facts
it's living in your own little word,
creating your own world,
and blockin others to get involve in it.
lost in imagination.