網誌
2007年10月27日 上午11點10分26秒"ON CHILDREN"
Dedicated to all Zorpian parents.
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The secret of dealing successfully with a child is not to be its parent
- MELL LAZARUS
If you treat a sick child like an adult and treat a sick adult like a child, eveything usually works out pretty well.
- RUTH CARLISLE
A food is not necessarily essential just because your child
hates it.
- KATHERIN WHITEHORN
If you must hold yourself up to your chidren as an object lesson, hold yourself up as a warning and not as an example.
- GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
Never allow your child to call you by your first name. He hasn't known you long enough.
- FRAN LEBOWITZ
The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old.
- JEAN KERR
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(Collected )
2007年10月24日 上午8點25分37秒Blunders in the Court
BLUNDERS IN THE COURT
True stories. Collected by Richard Lederer.
Put in here in dedication to lady nody.
tp
Q. What is your date of birth?
A. July 15th.
Q. What year?
A. Every year.
Q. Well, you're a pretty big man, aren't you?
A. Yes, sir.
Q. How big would you say?
A. Oh, about eight inches.
Q. How old is your son, the one living with you?
A. 38 or 35, I can't remember which.
Q. How long has he lived with you?
A. 45 years.
Q. And where was the location of the accident?
A. Approximately milepost 499.
Q. And where is milepost 499 ?
A. Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
Q. Do you have copies of those estimates?
A. I don't know.
Q. Do you have copies of the purchase orders?
A. I don't know.
Q. Do you know who would know?
A. Do I know who would know? Yes.
Q. Who?
A. Me, if I knew.
THE COURT: Sir, I'm going to ask you to answer Yes or No because my reporter does not have "uh-huh" and "huh-uh" buttons in her machine. And when you answer "uh-huh" and "huh-uh" she wont have away to write it. Plus the jury needs to hear "yer" or "no", not "uh-huh's" and "huh-uh's", ok?
WITNESS: Uh-huh.
2007年10月23日 上午8點00分00秒The World's Easiest Quiz
The World's Easiest Quiz
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1. How long did the Hundred Years War last?
2. Which country makes Panama hats?
3. Where do we get catgut?
4. In which month do Russians celabrate the October Revolution?
5. What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6. The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
7. What was King George VI 's first name?
8. What color is a purple finch?
9. What country do Chinese gooseberries come from?
10. How long did the Thirty Years War last?
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