網誌
2008年6月1日 上午12點36分06秒JOKES
JOKES
(Added some new ones)
To Lady Sheila and Lady HUGS
For some moments of relaxation
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NAIVE CUSTOMER
A man walked into a sporting-goods shop where he was approached by a clerk.
"May I help you?" the clerk asked.
"Yes, I'd like some shoes."
"What do you want to use them for - tennis, volleyball, basketball, hiking, running, jogging?"
The customer looked around at the different types of shoes, then back at the eager young salesman
and answered, rather timorously:
"Well, I, uh, thought I'd just walk around in them. Is that ok?"
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NAIVE WIFE
A tearful house wife stood before the judge and said," Your Honor, I want to charge my husband
with adultery. I think he has been unfaithful to me."
"Do you have any evidence?" asked the judge.
"Well, Your Honor, I' ve been studying the faces of my three children and not one of them looks
like him!"
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NAIVE HUSBAND!
"I was relaxing in my favorite chair on Sunday," said a man to his friend, "reading the newspaper,
watching a ball game on TV, and listening to another on the radio, drinking beer, eating a snack
and scratching the dog with my foot - and my wife has the nerve to accuse me of just sitting there
doing nothing!"
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GENTLE HUSBAND!
Husband to wife as they watch television:
" I'd like to get my hands on whoever approves all this violence on TV!"
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POOR HUSBAND!
Husband to wife, " I was not yawning the whole time you were talking. I was trying to say something."
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NAIVE SAINT PETER! POOR MINISTER!
Saint Peter greeted the two ministers at the Pearly Gates and said:
"Your condos aren't ready yet. Until they're finished, you can return to Earth as anything you want."
"Fine," said the first minister. "I've always wanted to be an eagle soaring over the Grand Canyon."
"And I'd like to be a real cool stud," said the second.
Poof! Their wishes were granted.
When the condos were finished, Saint Peter asked an assistant to bring the two ministers back.
"How will I find them?" the assistant asked.
"One is soaring over the Grand Canyon," Saint Peter replied.
"The other may be tough to locate. He's somewhere in Detroit - on a snow tire."
(NOTE. stud: 1. a sexually promiscuous man (Slang)
2. a nail head)
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CUTE WORDS!
Although he likes it a lot, my brother-in-law is not good in music, especially a tune that he doesn't
carry well. One afternoon, after listening to him for an interminable time, I overheard my sister ask,
"Why do you always hum that song?"
"Because it haunts me, " he answered.
"No wonder," she said, "you're murdering it."
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FAIRNESS IN MARRIAGE LIFE
Married for 52 years, my grandparents are considered by many to have the ideal marriage. They always
do things together and have never had a dispute. On their 52nd wedding anniversary our grandparents
were asked to reveal their secret for a lasting marriage.
"We have always agreed on a simple arrangement," replied my grand-father. "In the morning she does
what she wants, and in the afternoon I do what she wants."
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