網誌
2009年1月29日 下午5點55分44秒Tittle? Wtf?
Supposed to be fresh up to be in at work today at 6am... but it seems for the past 7 days really change my lifestyle... been sleeping in the early hrs... so kind of difficult for me to adjust myself accordingly... the very thing I admired in human body... how it's can really adjust itself to suit the person life... maybe it's just me... correct me if Im wrong thou... (maybe too much of Dr House)
After 7 days of roller coaster .. ups and downs...finally I back to work... it seems all my colleagues do miss me.. maybe Im in their eyes.. am easy kind of going... thinking back the very 1st day I started off... fucking hell... everyone is looking at me ... one kind... who flies to Dubai thru a saucer.... not by Boeing 777...
As the matter a fact... I realized one thing... the difference between street smart and book smart... I dun mean book smart peoples doesnt have any street smart... but I do really think book smart people do really knows how to bring themselves... not all of them... but at least those I know... for example.. lately there is 2 wonderful person shows up in my life...
1st person... very elegant and regal lady... very down to earth and do consider other peoples feelings before making any actions... and she speaks english! Ahh.. fuck sake.. that's a plus.. you know what? She's a workaholic... but the bottom line is... I do found she really sexy.. maybe she knows what she wants and how she gets it... nothing beats this... easy going... very active in her life... her profession? let's just say she is 1 of the excom...
2nd person... looks sexy... high sex drive... yeah... every men's dreams... profession wise... a high flying person... need I say more? figure out yourself... speak little english thou... very street smart... and I would say kind of selfish... I dunno what to say bout her... seriously... to me.. I think she is kind of chancer... maybe the environment she grew up... forced her to be... so who to blame? The main point is... maybe I'm frust towards her.... or maybe the forbidden fruits always sweeter?
Now let's look into these 2 person...1 is a wife material... while the other? for fun during your free time... actually I'm kind of stuck in here now... I need some guide line....
cheers! for now.....
p/s: just input what you think... no hard feelings taken as I'm trying to look into matters from different points of view...
2009年1月26日 下午4點18分25秒Slowly all parts of the puzzle seems to revealed..
Let me see how can I put into words... erm.. oh... ok... here it goes.. People comes and peoples goes.. some stayed and while some... lets just say gone with the wind.. but the question is.. is there any problem within me or with the wind?
I don't know.. deep inside me.. I'm soft, fragile, gentle, passion but apperance is still other way around... rough.. rude.. arrogant.. maybe its just myself trying to protect those fine qualities within me. But to those who really able to see me thru... not much of them... you can count them within a hand...
I do know that I got a problem... very very impatiences... this can be my friend or my enemy... I do encounter a person who I do really respect... love... admire... the very thing I respect her is that she doesnt want any materialistics stuff from me... but I screwed it up with my impatience... and do believe me.. when you met the person that you've been searching or waiting for ... you will run out words.. at the end... I suffocated her and she walk out from my life.. I should have learned my lesson and yet I did the same mistake again... fucking hell... for fuck sake... again and again... same thing happening.. and again!
Now.. those who knows me.. who seems to appreciate the fine side of me... is still with me... sticking together with me.. working things out... they are the one who standing side by side with me facing the world... thousand miles away from home... looking after my back... while I'm leading them into the battle field of culinary world... with all those swearing and yelling... they still besides me... and till that day I was sitting there figuring out why so... and it appears there's a mutual understanding of our differences.. I was there for them when they were in trouble .. getting them out... pulled them back on feet while they've fallen down. While some I just get to know them and it so happen all these peoples like it or not... they got to follow my way... vulgar, fast, furious...no room for mistakes and slowly they starting to adapt my style and learned from me... no one is perfect.. I'm not excluded... but I am for who I am... and I will take them for who they are... fair and square... no question asked.
I'm kind of feeling weird now... I dunno where is my life directing me... in a way.. Im loosing control. But looking at the appearance... Im doing ok... but deep inside me Im not happy at all.. love life? It seems never exist... At the end of the day... Im just another fucking human being... another fucking eejit waiting to be loved and completed. But... when? Profession? Apparently.. Im doing ok... but this is not what I want... so right now.. Im questioning myself... which is no good at all...
Maybe few days later ... I should be feeling ok.. I dunno.. some times... we often make error.. but dont ever put yourself in doubt... as you put yourself in doubt thats only show one thing which is you're confidence of yourself and how do you expect others to be confidence in you? If you make mistake... admit it... face it and learned from it... worst come to worst... you might end getting screw by someone... ad you might loose the most precious thing in your life... while for me... I'm no super human running away from error... I do have my ups and downs... profession wise... I learn alot and I'm very proud for who I am... but deep inside... my heart... lets just say there is room for improvement... and yet... there would be someone show up... leading me... holding me... looking after me... advising me...supporting me... be there for me... HAHAHA! everything is me me and me... well... you got to be selfish sometimes...
The day still yet to come...
p/s: to those who're out there who've been following my journal... thank you for your patience and time in my writting... I do really appreciate you being here... take it easy!
2009年1月24日 下午8點29分44秒Landed up in Dubai...
Here I am in Dubai.... landed with a so called well... lets just say very respected hotel in the world... has been 8 months over here trying to convince myself... is not that bad here... oh well... ups and downs like a roller coaster... that's life I presume? father in heaven... bless me ...
Everythings changed when I landed here... kind of difficult for the 1st 2 months but I'm very proud of myself with all these years of training and experiences which really builds me up to become a tougher person... phsycally and emotionally. Not bad.... all rite... all rite... sounds very lame... but I really in need of some self praising to carry on this journey.
1st drink after these freaking 8 months.. chivas and coke on the rock besides me... marlboro lite besides me while typing in all these words into my blog... What about now (Daughtry) on the hifi... nice ambience .... just got back from a dinner... a so called reunion dinner befoe chinese new year with someone who I thought I fall in love with at the restaurant which Im incharge. Food wise?.. acceptable... service wise? well... at least I can tell by tonite that there is a small group of peoples who really respect for who I am .. companion wise? very very pathetic... dramatic, insecurity... poor thing... well.. is a good news for me thou... at least I got a clear picture who is she.... I dun mean to push myself in here... but when comes into women.. I do have my criteria... ok ok... she's an air stewardess.. ahaks! yeah... again... stewardess appear in my life again... fucking hell... is just like a shadow kept on lurking in my shadow... I'm starting to sounds pathetic...
Met 5 women in Dubai here... from European to South East Asia... from man eater to pathetic drama player... for fuck sake... what the fuck I'm trying to say in here... oh well... just 2 cents of news paper alrite mates? ok... back to my companion which I had dinner with... I would say so she's a chancer... yeah.. that's rite.. make good use of oppourtunity... treated her very well thou... shower her with tender .. loving and caring... maybe to her... I'm just another cook and doesnt match up her criteria... well.. that's too bad rite? what could a woman ask for? I'm there when she wants me to... what she wants I get it for her... no question ask... told me that she's been badly treated over here... ok fair enough... treated her like a princess... at the end of the day? just making good used of me.. am still ok thou.. even thou someone might look at me just another cook.. but let me get this straight to everyone out there.. everyone deserved some rites to be treated equally and fair... I might be the person who cooks in the kitchen... but to those out there who doesnt knows whats the meaning of CHEF! Chef is the person who in charge of the kitchen over seeing the administrative and operations... from PR to cooking... easy? come to the kitchen and give it a try... and tell me again... creativeness for food while looking at the cost of getting the dish out....while ensuring guest satissfaction with the minimum of the cost of your outlet operations which includes labour cost.. food cost... over head cost... so take my advice... whenever you come across a chef... those people are not nust another cook who cook for living... is a profession which deserved some credits... if you dun get what the fuck I'm trying to tell you... go fuck yourself... you dun deserved to be here.. let me ask you this... how many senses is there on your tounge? how do you define good food? poor food? how do you define... the freshness of the food? how do you define the finest quality of your life? well... for me... Im still in search for the answer... and because of this... I always do have some reservation to everyone out there... I will some my respect and gratitude before the other side gives me back.... reason? you got to be fair to everyone ... from cleaner ... to... so called big shots...
ok peoples... just a very short brief of my shoot out... till then... cheers!