StNimrodçš„ä¸»é

StNimrodçš„ä¸»é http://hk.zorpia.com/StNimrod Wed, 09 Dec 2009 18:08 EST Wed, 09 Dec 2009 18:08 EST Zorpia.com 14th February 2009 http://hk.zorpia.com/StNimrod/journal/1880541 Erm... ok... here it goes.. Happy Valentine's Day to everyone out there who took the trouble and pleasure for reading this...Alone? Cheer up... it's alrite... like the chinese saying... if the other side of yours is good... you can spend the other half of your life happily... if the other side of yours.. screwed up? means for the rest of your life as well... so look at the bright side...Started pretty bad for the breakfast.. my team not that ready... was abit chaos.. then followed by the lunch... totally disaster... Dinner? It was acceptable and everyone playing their roles with pride and responsibilities... Now the question is... how did it went wrong? I took a step back today and look at the whole picture and realized... the leader plays a major role for the out come of the team... Agree? No? Some of you all must have thought is an easy life for a leader... which means .. walk around and giving instructions... and everyone followed... how hard could that be? Think again... Ok this is what happened.. Started off pretty bad this week which is on Tuesday.. something personal... everything kicked off bad from me... as I'm the leader.. I fully accept the consequences and bear fully responsibilities... Because of a person... who walk into my life unexpectedly... and rocking the soul in me... some might say... it's ok... you're just an human being with warm blooded... all this kind of situation is unavoidable... while some might says... where is your code of ethics? where is your professionalism? where is your real passion? Untill today... I finally found the answer...I choosed this profession is out of the passion and the instinct inside me... I've tried to run away from this field.. but at the end.. the harder and further I tried to run away.. still.. I'm back to it.. I must admit that I'm fucking good in operation, planning, managing, organising and giving commands in the kitchen.... Now since I'm so proud and love for what I'm doing... so what went wrong?Simple... human error and low grades of emotional qualities... or some called it experience... This person walks into my life and in a way ... she did really bring joy into my life .. kind of short term thou and I thought I was falling in love... but it seems it is an obssesion... I thought waking up in the morning ... the first person comes into my mind shows I'm in LOVE? for fuck sake... WRONG! I was very lucky... to know a person in here... she will be reading this... and she did awakes me... when 2 different cultures being together... is kind of enjoyment.. which leads into obsessions... I was down.. frustrated.. sad... unhappy.. depressing... which I let it effected my work... which I shouldn't but I did.. I lost weight... my outlook like a zombie... fucking hell... how could this be to a person who is so out going.. down to earth... and the most of all... is being very well respected.. whenever I start work in the morning.. walking thru from the enterance to my baby (kitchen).. Morning Chef!.. how's it going Chef? Anything new Chef? is among those greetings I'll be getting... I never realized this... as when I sit down and re-thought the whole scenario... people respected me for who I am and I'm letting it go... just because of a person? Worth it? I'm asking myself.....But in her... I did learned something new... self exploration... yeah... a never ending journey.. with someone who's been polishing the fine qualities within me advice... I've learned between work and personal shouldn't mix together... It's a big mistake... when you finish your work for that day... leave it as what it is... never bring home or don't ever let it grow inside you... what I've done wrong here is... since I'm the general in charge... PUSHY is a nature attitude to get things done... and I let it grew within me.. I got a weakness within me... aggresive and impatiences... this 2 can be your friends or your enemies.. depends how you applied in you... in my work... I need this 2 to get things done... in my life... oh well... fuck it... need I say more... for the past few days... I've been baby sitting my little heart...feeling empty and broken... I lick my wounds... and ended up... I screwing my profession... It's been very clear now... should I hang on to it and keep on pursuing? Seriously... fuck me for being naive... I''ve tried to give my best.... e.g. asked for a pair of sunglass... I bought her 2... as we're from same race sharing the same culture... during the festive season.. I bought her 2 dress as it's a believes of new beginning... logistic is been very detail taking care of from transporting from her place to meeting point... every single details is been very considered and well taken care for... since her profession is very demanding as well which means festive season celebration will not be in the iterninary... pre-celebration is being well planned.. a bouquet of 101 flowers, a self baked cake ( her personal fav), since she will be away for 7 days... 7 little card individually wrapped with my thoughts of her written on it.. labelled with different dates to be openned.. and at the end of the day? Just a single and simple Happy Valentine's sms would be enough to melt me away like the chocolate in the bain marie... Nothing.... isn't that clear enough to wakey wakey?Very well... time to move on and be back for the person which I am... a person who always on the go... who never gives up struggling... who enjoyed on the edge situation.. who enjoys being in command... sending out soldiers for battle.... Have a good day....Cheers!   Personal http://hk.zorpia.com/StNimrod/journal/1880541 Sat, 14 Feb 2009 15:07 EST Lost... http://hk.zorpia.com/StNimrod/journal/1879421 Lost... just a little word which greatly define a moment of truth... I do wonder.. how well I could use this word on me. Been really hard trying to be a strong person.. believe me... I've gave out the best of me... but it seems the best is not enough.... Personal http://hk.zorpia.com/StNimrod/journal/1879421 Tue, 10 Feb 2009 14:12 EST Tittle? Wtf? http://hk.zorpia.com/StNimrod/journal/1876445 Supposed to be fresh up to be in at work today at 6am... but it seems for the past 7 days really change my lifestyle... been sleeping in the early hrs... so kind of difficult for me to adjust myself accordingly... the very thing I admired in human body... how it's can really adjust itself to suit the person life... maybe it's just me... correct me if Im wrong thou... (maybe too much of Dr House) After 7 days of roller coaster .. ups and downs...finally I back to work... it seems all my colleagues do miss me.. maybe Im in their eyes.. am easy kind of going... thinking back the very 1st day I started off... fucking hell... everyone is looking at me ... one kind... who flies to Dubai thru a saucer.... not by Boeing 777...As the matter a fact... I realized one thing... the difference between street smart and book smart... I dun mean book smart peoples doesnt have any street smart... but I do really think book smart people do really knows how to bring themselves... not all of them... but at least those I know... for example.. lately there is 2 wonderful person shows up in my life... 1st person... very elegant and regal lady... very down to earth and do consider other peoples feelings before making any actions...  and she speaks english! Ahh.. fuck sake.. that's a plus.. you know what? She's a workaholic... but the bottom line is... I do found she really sexy.. maybe she knows what she wants and how she gets it... nothing beats this... easy going... very active in her life... her profession? let's just say she is 1 of the excom...2nd person... looks sexy... high sex drive... yeah... every men's dreams... profession wise... a high flying person... need I say more? figure out yourself... speak little english thou... very street smart... and I would say kind of selfish... I dunno what to say bout her... seriously... to me.. I think she is kind of chancer... maybe the environment she grew up... forced her to be... so who to blame? The main point is... maybe I'm frust towards her.... or maybe the forbidden fruits always sweeter?Now let's look into these 2 person...1 is a wife material... while the other? for fun during your free time... actually I'm kind of stuck in here now... I need some guide line.... cheers! for now..... p/s: just input what you think... no hard feelings taken as I'm trying to look into matters from different points of view...   Personal http://hk.zorpia.com/StNimrod/journal/1876445 Thu, 29 Jan 2009 13:55 EST Slowly all parts of the puzzle seems to revealed.. http://hk.zorpia.com/StNimrod/journal/1875859 Let me see how can I put into words... erm.. oh... ok... here it goes.. People comes and peoples goes.. some stayed and while some... lets just say gone with the wind.. but the question is.. is there any problem within me or with the wind?I don't know.. deep inside me.. I'm soft, fragile, gentle, passion but apperance is still other way around... rough.. rude.. arrogant.. maybe its just myself trying to protect those fine qualities within me. But to those who really able to see me thru... not much of them... you can count them within a hand...I do know that I got a problem... very very impatiences... this can be my friend or my enemy... I do encounter a person who I do really respect... love... admire... the very thing I respect her is that she doesnt want any materialistics stuff from me... but I screwed it up with my impatience... and do believe me.. when you met the person that you've been searching or waiting for ... you will run out words.. at the end... I suffocated her and she walk out from my life.. I should have learned my lesson and yet I did the same mistake again... fucking hell... for fuck sake... again and again... same thing happening.. and again!Now.. those who knows me.. who seems to appreciate the fine side of me... is still with me... sticking together with me.. working things out... they are the one who standing side by side with me facing the world... thousand miles away from home... looking after my back... while I'm leading them into the battle field of culinary world... with all those swearing and yelling... they still besides me... and till that day I was sitting there figuring out why so... and it appears there's a mutual understanding of our differences.. I was there for them when they were in trouble .. getting them out... pulled them back on feet while they've fallen down. While some I just get to know them and it so happen all these peoples like it or not... they got to follow my way... vulgar, fast, furious...no room for mistakes and slowly they starting to adapt my style and learned from me... no one is perfect.. I'm not excluded... but I am for who I am... and I will take them for who they are... fair and square... no question asked.I'm kind of feeling weird now... I dunno where is my life directing me... in a way.. Im loosing control. But looking at the appearance... Im doing ok... but deep inside me Im not happy at all.. love life? It seems never exist... At the end of the day... Im just another fucking human being... another fucking eejit waiting to be loved and completed. But... when? Profession? Apparently.. Im doing ok... but this is not what I want... so right now.. Im questioning myself... which is no good at all... Maybe few days later ... I should be feeling ok.. I dunno.. some times... we often make error.. but dont ever put yourself in doubt... as you put yourself in doubt thats only show one thing which is you're confidence of yourself and how do you expect others to be confidence in you? If you make mistake... admit it... face it and learned from it... worst come to worst... you might end getting screw by someone... ad you might loose the most precious thing in your life... while for me... I'm no super human running away from error... I do have my ups and downs... profession wise... I learn alot and I'm very proud for who I am... but deep inside... my heart... lets just say there is room for improvement... and yet... there would be someone show up... leading me... holding me... looking after me... advising me...supporting me... be there for me... HAHAHA! everything is me me and me... well... you got to be selfish sometimes... The day still yet to come... p/s: to those who're out there who've been following my journal... thank you for your patience and time in my writting... I do really appreciate you being here... take it easy! Personal http://hk.zorpia.com/StNimrod/journal/1875859 Mon, 26 Jan 2009 12:18 EST Landed up in Dubai... http://hk.zorpia.com/StNimrod/journal/1875476  Here I am in Dubai.... landed with a so called well... lets just say very respected hotel in the world... has been 8 months over here trying to convince myself... is not that bad here... oh well... ups and downs like a roller coaster... that's life I presume? father in heaven... bless me ... Everythings changed when I landed here... kind of difficult for the 1st 2 months but I'm very proud of myself with all these years of training and experiences which really builds me up to become a tougher person... phsycally and emotionally. Not bad.... all rite... all rite... sounds very lame... but I really in need of some self praising to carry on this journey.1st drink after these freaking 8 months.. chivas and coke on the rock besides me... marlboro lite besides me while typing in all these words into my blog... What about now (Daughtry) on the hifi... nice ambience .... just got back from a dinner... a so called reunion dinner befoe chinese new year with someone who I thought I fall in love with at the restaurant which Im incharge. Food wise?.. acceptable... service wise? well... at least I can tell by tonite that there is a small group of peoples who really respect for who I am .. companion wise? very very pathetic... dramatic, insecurity... poor thing... well.. is a good news for me thou... at least I got a clear picture who is she.... I dun mean to push myself in here... but when comes into women.. I do have my criteria... ok ok... she's an air stewardess.. ahaks! yeah... again... stewardess appear in my life again... fucking hell... is just like a shadow kept on lurking in my shadow... I'm starting to sounds pathetic...Met 5 women in Dubai here... from European to South East Asia... from man eater to pathetic drama player... for fuck sake... what the fuck I'm trying to say in here... oh well... just 2 cents of news paper alrite mates? ok... back to my companion which I had dinner with... I would say so she's a chancer... yeah.. that's rite.. make good use of oppourtunity... treated her very well thou... shower her with tender .. loving and caring... maybe to her... I'm just another cook and doesnt match up her criteria... well.. that's too bad rite? what could a woman ask for? I'm there when she wants me to... what she wants I get it for her... no question ask... told me that she's been badly treated over here... ok fair enough... treated her like a princess... at the end of the day? just making good used of me.. am still ok thou.. even thou someone might look at me just another cook.. but let me get this straight to everyone out there.. everyone deserved some rites to be treated equally and fair... I might be the person who cooks in the kitchen... but to those out there who doesnt knows whats the meaning of CHEF! Chef is the person who in charge of the kitchen over seeing the administrative and operations... from PR to cooking... easy? come to the kitchen and give it a try... and tell me again... creativeness for food while looking at the cost of getting the dish out....while ensuring guest satissfaction with the minimum of the cost of your outlet operations which includes labour cost.. food cost... over head cost... so take my advice... whenever you come across a chef... those people are not nust another cook who cook for living... is a profession which deserved some credits... if you dun get what the fuck I'm trying to tell you... go fuck yourself... you dun deserved to be here.. let me ask you this... how many senses is there on your tounge? how do you define good food? poor food? how do you define... the freshness of the food? how do you define the finest quality of your life? well... for me... Im still in search for the answer... and because of this... I always do have some reservation to everyone out there... I will some my respect and gratitude before the other side gives me back.... reason? you got to be fair to everyone ... from cleaner ... to... so called big shots...ok peoples... just a very short brief of my shoot out... till then... cheers!   Travel http://hk.zorpia.com/StNimrod/journal/1875476 Sat, 24 Jan 2009 16:29 EST Another year.. http://hk.zorpia.com/StNimrod/journal/1798938 Oh well... time really flies... another year goes by.. here I am sitting here infront of the puter penning down 2 cents of mine... 0250hrs... fuck sake... am not in bed yet.. Finally... since the last penned down... after the roller coaster.. my life seems to be stabilized.. landed up in a 4 star hotel in KL city. Very good experience... learnt alot and work it out alot as well... in a way... I left a legacy in that hotel... pulled all the cables in the hotel and really got things under my wings... except few peoples... lets just say these peoples are fucking eejits! It's been quite a good journey I must said... brokes some hearts.. make some cash.. work my ass off and now... giving myself a weeks break before flying off to Dubai.. looking back..well some peoples doesnt wants me to go... reason? LOL.... everything there's a reason.. fucking hell... what the fuck Im typing here... enough for now... to be continue.. Personal http://hk.zorpia.com/StNimrod/journal/1798938 Tue, 29 Apr 2008 14:04 EST Another phases of my journey.. http://hk.zorpia.com/StNimrod/journal/1659622 Dear Mates,  As you may noticed by now.. I've been missing for ermm.... 3 weeks? or maybe more.. well... Sorry bout that and to all those who has been visiting me or so happen to be in my page. Thank you for dropping me a visit and of course I do really hope that you enjoyed your stay.  Rite mates.. I'm going thru another phases of my journey... journey of life. Kind of difficult I must said... personally and professionally... everything seems to be taking a big turn and just doesnt makes senses to me... nothing is going my way... fuck sake... Frankly speaking.. every 10 years there will be some patches happen... I'm hitting 30 this year so from last year I already expect something to happen... but never thought so soon.  Personally... the soul that I've been searching and looking has appeared in my life.. and she really brought joy to my life and I thanked god for answering my prayer... but ... shits happen.. she is gone now... some shits happen in between and she has stopped taking my called nor replying my text.. got to move on... anyway... trust me.. I regret for my actions which is aggresive and I should give her more time to accept me into her life...  Professionally... I'm in hunt for a job now... from the highest in the hieracrhy... and now doing nothing... it all started of  from unfair treatment to my staff from the management. I fight for my staff and I fight till the end for them and I take big pride in doing so even though it cost my pay cheque. One thing I'm very sure is that... at the end of the I'm well known from my fair treatment and the fighting spirit.. everything from me that I've gave into my proffesion.  ok mates... I should go now... I should be back soon. you guys take it easy and be good.. cheers! Personal http://hk.zorpia.com/StNimrod/journal/1659622 Fri, 23 Mar 2007 03:33 EST The risk I'm taking.. http://hk.zorpia.com/StNimrod/journal/1629292  It's been a good Xmas to me I must admit.. even thou the X'mas eve dinner is abit screwed.. but shit happens due to the front line. I did make a wish to santa.. and trust me.. he did really exist!  Time past really fast.. whenever I talk to her.. time is just by the blink of the eyes.. man.. how I wish I could stop the time. Whenever we hang up... honestly speaking... I dont want to put down the phone .. maybe I sounds foolish but still... am just a guy waitting to be..... oh well it's been some times this kind of feeling came to me.. till for the past few days.. she brought it back to me.. thnx.. and it's just 2 days and it's just like 200 years to me..  Guess I'm a little bit too arrogant to laugh at people.. and is happening to me now.. this feeling is so nice but yet.. is so hard to bear.. damn... is unbearable... how I wish I could make you be mine.. I dunno how powerful my word is to her.. if she only could just gimme the single chance to me for me to prove myself to her.. frankly speaking... I never afraid of anything... but just this... something which I'm unable to take control.. something which I'm afraid to face.. oh lord.. if you just able to show me some guidance.. to win someone heart...  Tomorrow is another day... which I do hope I'm able to smile ... again Personal http://hk.zorpia.com/StNimrod/journal/1629292 Thu, 28 Dec 2006 09:35 EST Truth http://hk.zorpia.com/StNimrod/journal/1625698 Hide nothing, This is transparency, From which grows trust, The root of partnership, The fruit of truth, Just values of truth. Personal http://hk.zorpia.com/StNimrod/journal/1625698 Sun, 17 Dec 2006 07:41 EST for what you have tamed... http://hk.zorpia.com/StNimrod/journal/1619668 Just that," said the fox. "To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world . . ." But if you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life. I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others. Other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground. Yours will call me, like music, out of my burrow. And then look: you see the grain-fields down yonder? I do not eat bread. Wheat is of no use to me. The wheat fields have nothing to say to me. And that is sad. But you have hair that is the color of gold. Think how wonderful that will be when you have tamed me! The grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you. And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat . . ." "And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye." "What is essential is invisible to the eye," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember. "Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed . . ." Personal http://hk.zorpia.com/StNimrod/journal/1619668 Thu, 30 Nov 2006 10:29 EST