網誌
2003年9月30日 下午10點30分00秒so it's another year again... 1st oct. the...
so it's another year again... 1st oct.
the date has become a bit scary.. nahh.. just kind of fear of it... probably cuz it makes me look back many of the things happened.
realizing the fact that indeed i'm not a peacemaker, i did mess up lots of stuff, making stupid acts and creating troubles in my own relationships...
Hilary Duff - So Yesterday
You can change your life (if you wanna)
You can change your dreams (if you wanna)
You can change your mind
Well that's the way it goes
But I'm gonna keep your jeans
And your old black hat (cuz i wanna)
They look good on me
You're never gonna get them back
At least not today, (not today, not today) cuz
(chorus):
If it's over let it go and, come tomorrow it will seem so yesterday, so yesterday
I'm just a bird that's already flown away
Laugh it off and let it go and, when you wake up it will seem so yesterday, so yesterday
Haven't you heard that I'm gonna be ok? (okay)
If you're over me, I'm already over you
If it's all been done, what is left to do?
How can you hang up if the line is dead?
If you wanna walk I'm a step ahead
If you're movin on, I'm already gone
If the light is off then it isn't on
At least not today, (not today, not today) cuz
If it's over let it go and, come tomorrow it will seem so yesterday, so yesterday
I'm just a bird that's already flown away
Laugh it off and let it go and, when you wake up it will seem so yesterday, so yesterday
Haven't you heard that you're so yesterday
2003年9月27日 上午11點49分00秒a wonderful morning with a cup of latte and...
a wonderful morning with a cup of latte and my geography notes right beside me... what a pity the programme nba zone hasn't started yet... anyway life can just be as simple as this.
when my university life is kinda distant from basketball, though things are much less exciting and challenging, i feel so tranquil. suddenly realize basketball can actually occupy a big part of my day, as well as a big part of my fats... geez.. getting even fatter cuz lacking in exercise.
soo.... it's been like a week i hafn't talked a single word with my stepmother. i got a fucking fight with her the other night. i don't know when we're gonna communicate again, but i don't reallie bother about it honestly. i think i haf kind of spoken out the things i wanna say for years, and i'm relieved. it's not that she's a bad stepmother or something, she's fine. and i know she's tried her best to deal with the three of us. but somehow, it's about your human inner thing that keeps you from allowing someone into your life, no matter how much they do, and how long it has been. maybe it's simply the first impression, or any tiny tiny gestures, we just can't get along with it.
and now i start to put this lady aside, i no longer magnify her disadvantages, but treat her as another normal human being. it allows me to accept her mistakes as every of us sometimes does things wrongly too. thinking in an even more positive aspect, i got closer with my dad cuz of this. when a door closes, another opens, this seems to apply to most of the things.
2003年9月22日 下午4點20分00秒talking about honesty... i got a scary-funny...
talking about honesty...
i got a scary-funny joke from my classmate today (in the middle of the 3-hr COLORATION & finishing lecture.. geez.. 
), when she's drinking the new flavor Qoo, that tiny blue cartoon thing....
there'f long been rumors about Qoo hafing too much artificial colorings... but people, like she, still like it so much, rebuking that Fanta's even more colorations, making it so bright.... she mentioned something 'bout the blueberry one...
her boyfriend and his friend, once got a chance to try blueberry fanta... later on the day, it's their time to poo. and to their amazement, down the loo, their shits are GREEN 
it's reallie a shitty fact let us discover not only yellow + blue can make something green, but brown + blue can too
what's more, since then that guy keeps on playing this freaky trick once in a while, when he's kinda bored and mo liu.... and he still dares to tell his 3-yr girlfriend.
his guts to try so many times + mo liu impress me, and his honesty too. how many of us can actually tell our bf/gf, our friends, our families things like this..? we do always cover up something, something ugly about ourselves. we may not deliberately do it, but it reallie happpens, and it hurts. the thing is: why do we need to do it? and what indeed is the consequence of cover up??
everyone likes to beautify him/herself, esp. in front of those we love. we worrie our ugliness would frighten off people. but what's the point of loving that guy if he can't even put up with my ugliness? no's perfect.. and i'm proud of hafing some bugs inside me.
i used to haf the bug of not being honest enough to show u my worry and my bad sides. and i didn't know it did hurt. though it's been some time, it's sad whenever i think about it.
so i thought about it today, again. i suddenly realised it's not a sinlge person's problem, and it never will be. it's about whether you are brave enough to show your bottom line or not. not only to bf/gf, but also to dad, mum, sister, cousin, friend, people we just know... not that we do not want to be honest, but whenever our bottom lines're shown, we can't chose anymore, instead, we are there to be chosen. and it's reallie scary... and insecure.
2003年9月21日 上午1點46分00秒yeaah... hey guys... (if anyone's still here...
yeaah... hey guys... (if anyone's still here reading my xanga thing....) shirla returns eventually!! *applause* it's been pretty long a time i hafn't login this site.... haf been busy with the university stuff and the tuition thing.. geeez...
first of all... gotta thank generous edith for lending her xp ibm + precious time to me last nite.. think i must haf bothered her from stats and macbeth. btw, she's the one triggers me to xanga again too.. thanks x 100000 
feeling a bit uneasy these days.. ummm..... it's getting near.. the birthday.... and.. memory kinda returns also...
anyway... it's great sitting among the class right now... the lecturer's non-stop teaching MSword in this tiny computer lab.... couldn't help wonder who's indeed listening.... nahh.... i did try to pay attention an hour ago... but i couldn't even hear a sinlge word... sighh..