ShirlaT的主頁

I'm not a concept. I want you to just keep...

Sun, 16 May 2004 11:03 EST

I'm not a concept. I want you to just keep that in your head. Too many guys think I'm a concept or I complete them or I'm going to make them alive, but I'm just a fucked-up girl who is looking for my own piece of mind. Don't assign me yours.

think someone has posted it before.. was it jessica my dear?

what do you want me to do? what do you...

Sat, 15 May 2004 00:07 EST

what do you want me to do? what do you expect me to do?
what am i supposed to do? why don't you do?
you ain't acting any decent.

FUCK YOU.

[IMAGE] [IMAGE] my first cakie. lolz~ people...

Thu, 13 May 2004 21:39 EST

my first cakie. lolz~

people say 'out of sight, out of mind'.
they always tell you 'let time do its job, you'll eventually be fine'.
you often hear me say these also... not that i think they're true, nor do i expect you to feel better after hearing these, but i got nothing more to say. i can't think of anything more suitable to someone who's already so miserable, even i know, so well, these are all - bullshit.
whether or not you are / you still will be thinking of him, does not depend on his presence. you just keep on and on... thinking, missing, wondering about him. we could never shut down our world of him. either you bump into him from time to time *thanks fate*, or people around simply, (un)intentionally, tell you his stuff. maybe you show interests in knowing about him, maybe you don't, this's not the point, but eventually you will know, even beyond the level you can handle. we destroy ourselves. but we usually love to.
some people are unwilling to let go, they grap their memories so tightly as if these are the air that sustain them. others wish time could eventually cure. they hope the once destructive pain could gone. yet, could it? time flies, feelings gone, so memories gone, pain remains. when there are no more feelings and memories, hatred and pain fill the gap. the shadow's always there.
the worst thing is: feelings may have already disappeared, yet memories are still clearly here. is it only memories? or do i still feel something about it...? even so, can anything ever ever return..?

*[edit]

maybe we should have known each other better
maybe we should have slowed down a bit
maybemaybemaybe

possibilities. a try. failure. and. here comes the return. panic attack.

dizzy and dizzy.

dedicated to all my dear friends..

best facial expression

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soem quality chats with elder sister.. re-fig

Thu, 06 May 2004 12:13 EST

soem quality chats with elder sister.. re-figured out why i'm dying for architecture. things seem clearer now. waiting for results, if it isn't too bad. so life has been pretty much the same.. movies, shopping, messing around. have been thinking of what the point of life is these days.. to be precise, what the point of my life is. am i gonna have some sorta career, marry someone, have kids.. till i retire and die? so what do i actually own/create/leave behind in my life? what's the real difference when everyone in the end dies but someone richer and others poorer now or in the foreseeable future? how should i carry on my life..? to plan and count starting from now on? or to exhaust every happiness i can have in the moment? damn.. i know that's kinda bullshit. but i'm just.. thinking. maybe i've too much time to kill, or maybe human beings are real tiny, we can only give the best of every single second... till the destiny reveals....?
anyhoo.. i know all you folks are having exams right now, either a-level, final term, gce.... good luck and peace~

all you girls out there.. you gotta be so so...

Sun, 02 May 2004 03:51 EST

all you girls out there.. you gotta be so so so jealous, i met daniel wu today!!! haha =P agaiN!!!! and i talked to him.. in addition, i met his doggie too. he's so freaking cocky, but.. handsome and cool. **feeling at easeeeeeee...*
(okay.. fying, i met your requirement, i talked about it already..)

got some pretty good chats with people around.. close or not very close friends. chats in depth, and chats which are juz for fun. all mean something to me, and i truly believe all these brighten up my day. life seems greater after exams, but i haf never forgot those kind, supportive hands a month ago. those form7 people... janice, eugenie, christopher, lam man chiu, cheng suet nga (and those not named).. reallie - big thank you. i'f been postponing this thank you note for days........ and i know u guys hafn't finished the thing yet... but.... hang in there! only a few more days to go.
of cuz i can't leave out all my supportive and caring dear ex-3d gang.. plus my old spcc mates (yeaah you know i'm talking about you). halloween, kathy, miu, edith, $12000... upper 6 arts pepz.. and jessica, 5-year-old mouse and his brother adam, aly, ronald, simon.. simply everyone.

so.. life's pretty fine these days.. watched lots of movies.. shirla's back,, she's now as happy as ever. amen.

how often do people exclaim.. 'oh you two...

Thu, 29 Apr 2004 20:03 EST

how often do people exclaim.. 'oh you two are so match'
match.. rite. by appearence? by your dress? by hobby? by what?
what does the word 'match' reallie define....? do people necessarily need to be the same to be called match? or should we.. be pretty different so we can adjust and stay in peace in a relationship? i used to love people who're almost of the same kind as i do. and i'm still attracted by them. but that didn't seem to work, at least it didn't work out for me. so what should i look for rite now? what am i looking for rite now?

butterflies.

today is a happy day. life's juz.. as simple...

Tue, 27 Apr 2004 11:18 EST

today is a happy day.

life's juz.. as simple as that.

dear friends, thanks for all the toilet incidence conversation. i really appreciate that u guys are indeed sooooooo mo liu law. u know what, it's been 3 days already, but chung and wendy are still talking about this today. what the.

a shocking piece of.... news. though it ain't

Sun, 25 Apr 2004 08:44 EST

a shocking piece of.... news. though it ain't new anymore. shame. and. disrespect.

sometimes. we just don't need attention and assurance by doing this. and how many times it has been..?
i think i'm objective enough. i don't judge. but. i feel sorry. for everyone. rite. everyone.

arrgh.

maybe i should haf known that... since some...

Sat, 24 Apr 2004 10:51 EST

maybe i should haf known that... since some time ago.

don't feel like doing anything.. simply i'm...

Fri, 23 Apr 2004 01:29 EST

don't feel like doing anything.. simply i'm too exhausted. don't know what i can do afterwards, i don't reallie feel lost or depressed or anything like disappointed or what, i just think i need some time to settle down and figure out my plan. i'm through, i'm through now. it's not particularly a suffering, i believe i haf learnt something from it. i don't know what it is yet, but i know i haf. relieved, you can say so. break should be the word. rite, i need some rest.

i hereby proclaim.. i'm totally fucked up. 7...

Mon, 19 Apr 2004 14:36 EST

i hereby proclaim..

i'm totally fucked up.

7 and 11. out of 25 each. got back two of my essays, which were written, not long ago, juz saturday last week. seems like, the more i study, the worse i write, the lower marks i get. sorrie mrs ngan, i'm so sorrie to tell you, what u wrote in my autograph ain't right. i ain't got no potentials in geography, i ain't got no potentials in any fucking things. i ain't smart, i ain't talented either, i ain't anything to say the truth. what's the point of studying for one more year? what the fuck's happening here?

currently playing: genie in a bottle -...

Sun, 18 Apr 2004 06:51 EST

currently playing: genie in a bottle - christina aguilera

procrastination, procrastination and procrastination.
well... things seem a lil bit complicated these days... but i dun wanna figure it out yet. or indeed, it ain't complicated at all, i juz make things complicated myself. whatever.... umm.. a few friends broke up recently.. i don't exactly know the reasons, and i don't think i wanna/i need to know that either.. i juz wanan say i'm here. always. and i reallie reallie hope you can get over it soon. sometimes.. prolly we can only admit we lose. we can't make everything perfect. is it worth or not, perhaps is of no importance anymore. prolly it should be whether you can see your future or not. whether you believe your love can endure all difficultieis that lie ahead or not. i could never make it in the past. but i hope my friends can choose their best way out. if you are the one who're reading, and you know i'm talking about you. don't hesitate to call me anytime when you need me okay? mad love.

oh btw, where are you TTM? are u dead or not?

when am i gonna study seriously again?...

Wed, 14 Apr 2004 10:50 EST

when am i gonna study seriously again? geography my dear.. please, i wanna make friend with you.

heard a pretty good sentence from "juk ching...

Wed, 14 Apr 2004 04:08 EST

heard a pretty good sentence from "juk ching gok"... (yeaah rite.. i'm not studying AT ALL....)

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that's pretty true.. but who can reallie see it through when you're in the circle, feeling at ease of being the centre?

rite.. i'f figured it out..eventually. it's...

Mon, 12 Apr 2004 23:13 EST

rite.. i'f figured it out..eventually. it's like a compensation after some time.. a compensation, perhaps, to make me feel better. i dunno whether it makes things betetr though. it's always selfish to dig out an answer, i should know that it's never for his good, but for my own. what's more, nobody ever knows whether it is necessary. anyhoo.. i got back to my study after that, another benefit... soo.... the whole family left to bai shan this afternoon... home alone till saturday. sushi for dinner... hehee~ the best thing to be home alone is prolly i can eat whatever i want - but claim dad for the bill.