網誌
2008年12月30日 上午10點13分57秒Feeling better , Thx !!!!
I hv to say thx to my fds who met in Zorpia. I've got some private msg today..thx for all yr kindly words.. It's so important to me! I feel better now. I feel so warm coz some of my fds made a long distant call to me, asked me am i alright or not.. Altought i am alone.. but i find out that my fds here, and my best fds, and my colleagues care me a lot .. Thanks so much again. I want to close an a/c be4, but i won't now . I will keep on update my new status here. I drank a lot last night.. felt so bad.. But now i won't let them worry. I've been worry a lot in past few days..it's really not feel gd..i know I am strong enough to get over all the stuff.. I talked to him this morning.. i was crying when i saw him.. but i couldn't find any sad from his face..it's gd.. at least i know i really hv to let go.. My fds said he might hv another one.. maybe..um...but it's doesn't matter to me now.. coz i think like that at the beginning so that i can feel better .. I said sth to him ..and i feel a bit regret of what i said in my last mail...I want to say it's not what i really want to say...but i sent it already..Don't know why at this time i still care his feeling.. I hope he can get everything he want and hv a happy life ! Me too >_<
2008年12月29日 下午5點06分58秒Heartbroken !
29th, Dec...I can't describe how sad i am ..I was totally downhearted. Have you ever stop yr tear drop on yr face? I can do it before.. But not this time. Before no matter how sad / bad i was..I will hide my emotion and pretend notheing happened on me.. Just don''t want my family, fds worry about me ..plus, don't want to explain to them what happened on me coz i feel more sad after i talked about what's going on with me ...But this time, i definitely don't know why i cry .. i was crying when i was working.. My eyes,nose all turn to red.. I can't stop my tear.. I can't .. What wrong with me ? All my best fds not here with me almost 2 years but i still can live happily ..i thought i was strong.. but this time i just found out that i am not that strong..I am not strong enough to get over it.. 2 months.. all is over. I know all is the lies.. Not at all , but most of it.. I know lies is harder to accept..but i rather know the truth.. coz only the truth could let me cut off all the stuff.. My best fds told me that he's a jerk, Obviously he was a liar.. I don't know.. I don't know what happened in past few days on him.. But i guess i know the truth already.. He lie maybe he don't want me to get hurt... But i get hurt already..deeply.. i still can't clam down.. I thought i can get over it but i can't, not even a half.. I reall don't know who i can share with?...I feel so alone.. I feel lost,,, But one thing i can sure...No matter how sad i am, i won't do anything to get it back the way it was be4, coz i can seem he feel better after he wrote the mail to me.. the passion is gone, i can't do anything to get it back or i can't force him to get back anymore..I still miss him.. He won't know what happened on me and what my mind was thinking in past few days..It's unnecessary to tell him now..I just want to stay alone...