個人
- 個人簡介:"LET IT BE WRITEEN - LET IT BE DONE."
AFFIDAVIT.
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I, THE WRITTER DO HEREBY SOLEMNLY DECLARE, VERIFY AND AFFIRM ON THE MOST HOLIEST OATHS THAT ALL THE CONTENTS OF MY THIS AUTO-BIOGRAPHY (THIS PROFILE) ARE TRUE (SOLELY BASED ON THE HIGHLY AUTHENTIC & SUBSTANTIAL EVIDENCES I.E. THE DOCUMENTARY PROOFS & THE WITNESSES) TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE & BELIEF & THAT NOTHING HAS BEEN CONCEALED OR WITHHELD FROM THIS MOST HONURABLE & LEARNED COURT OF THE PUBLIC.
DEPONENT: MRS. NADIA EHSAN ELAHI
ADVOCATE
DISTRICT & SESSIONS COURTS, SWABI
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MAHALLAH KHAN KHEL-YARA KHEL
VILLAGE MARGHUZ
TEHSIL & DISTRICT SWABI
NORTH-WEST FRONTIER PROVINCE (N-WFP)
PAKISTAN
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BISMARK (IRON CHANCELLOR) (1886 CE) "THE SOLE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE FACTS & THE FICTIONS IS THAT THE FACTS HAVE THE ARMS & AMMUNITION OF THE HIGHLY AUTHENTIC & SUBSTANTIAL EVIDENCES I.E. THE DOCUMENTAL PROOFS & THE WITNESSES. WHEREAS THE FICTIONS ARE JUST BARE HANDS IN THIS CONTEXT."
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MY EVER MOST SUCESSFUL MESMERICAL SENTENCES BY THE USE OF WHICH I HAVE MADE FOOLS, PREYS ETC. OF INNUMERABLE MEN SO FAR (SEE SOME VERY FEW OF MY LOVE (FLIRT) LETTERS IN MY OWN HAND WRITING TO VARIOUS MEN SO FAR (ON THE NETLOG & OTHER WEBSITES AT MY 'PROFILES' IN THE 'PICTURES').
"YOU ARE MY FIRST & LAST LOVE. DO YOU KNOW THAT WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOUR & MY LOVE? THE DIFFERENCE IS THAT I AM JUST YOUR CHOICE WHERAS YOU ARE MY SOLE IDEAL. NOW THINK THAT IT IS ALWAYS POSSIBLE TO LEVE THE CHOICE BUT IT IS ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE TO LEAVE THE IDEAL."
APART FROM ME SUCH IS ALSO THE APPROACH OF MY FATHER (MR. E ELAHI KHAN GAN'DOO, ABSOLUTELY FORGED ADVOCATE (ALIAS VAKIL' SAIB)), MOTHER (MRS. F NIGAR (ALIAS GRAND)) & JUST NEXT ELDER SISTER (MRS. S E ELAHI (ALIAS 299 & PETITEE III)) IN ANY WALK OF LIFE (OUR ABSOLUTELY 'HYPOCRITICAL ETC. DEEDS' IN OUR LIVES SOLELY BASED UPON THE TEACHING & TRAINING IN OUR RESPECTIVE INDIVIDUAL BROUGHT UP. SPECIFICALLY AFTER ONE OF THE HISTORIC GRAND RENOWNED 'ELOPMENT EVENTS' IN MY IMMEDIATE FAMILY I.E. THE RUN FROM QUETTA TO PISHIN, BALUCHISTAN, THE THEN COLONIAL BRITISH INDIA OF ONE OF MY FEMALE ANCESTORS WITH THE BALUCHISTAN POLICE SEPOY (ORDERLY) MR. HAJI GUL (10.03.1937 - 07.05.1937 CE)).
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MULTI-LINGUISTIC CLUES TO WHO IS WHO???? WHAT IS WHAT????
HINDI SONG - "MANN MERA 'EHSAN' ('MR. E ELAHI KHAN GAN'DOO') ARRAY NADAN - KEH MAY NAY TUJ IS KEYA HAY PAYAR."
URDU GHA'ZAL - "YA 'ELAHI' ('MR. E ELAHI KHAN GAN'DOO') YEH MAJRA KYA HAY???? AAKHIT ISS DARD KEY DAVA KYA HAY????"
PUKHTOO SONG - "LAR SHA PAYKHAWAR TA KAMEES TOOR MALA ROWRA - 'FARHAT' ('MRS. F NIGAR' (W/O MR. E ELAHI KHAN GAN'DOO)) PEH TABAEY TOOR DEH BAJAWAR GULUNA DREY SALOOR MALA ROWRA."
UK ESCORTS DIRECTORY (OCTOBER 2008) "THE MAHALLAH KHAN KHEL-YARA KHEL, VILLAGE MARGHUZ, TEHSIL & DISTRICT SWABI, MARDAN DIVISION, NORTH-WEST FRONTIER PROVINCE (N-WFP), PAKISTAN MUST BE INFINITELY PROUD OF THE ENLISTING ON THE OPEN ADULT DIRECTORY 'ESCORTS WORLD WIDE' OF 'SHAZIA' - A STUNNING ASIAN PRINCESS PLUS A DEVIANT HEARTS CREATION (www.shazia-escort.co.uk)." 'MRS. S E ELAHI' (D/O MR. E ELAHI KHAN GAN'DOO).
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PUKHTOO MAXIM - "'KUNNE' (MR. E ELAHI KHAN GAND'OO, ABSOLUTELY FORGED ADVOCATE, DISTRICT & SESSIONS COURTS, SWABI) KHOW SUBHREGE - KHOW 'KUNNA' YEH NUH SUBHREGE."
TRANSLATION - ("THE 'CATAMITE' (MR. E ELAHI KHAN GAND'OO, ABSOLUTELY FORGED ADVOCATE, MAHALLAH KHAN KHEL-YARA KHEL, VILLAGE MARGHUZ, TEHSIL & DISTRICT SWABI, MARDAN DIVISION, N-WFP, PAKISTAN) DOES EXERCISE SELF-RESTRAINT - BUT 'HIS ASS HOLE' DOES NEVER EVER EXERCISE SELF-RESTRAINT").
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I WAS BORN ON 12.07.1978 CE (NB: DOCUMENTAL DATE OF BIRTH: 01.03.1980 CE). I AM A LAW GRADUATE (FACULTY OF LAW, UNIVERSITY OF PESHAWAR - 2004 CE). I BELONG TO MR. E ELAHI KHAN GAN'DOO, ABSOLUTELY FORGED ADVOCATE (VAKIL' SAIB 'KUB'RA `A'SHIQ OF MISS. RASHIDDAH SHAMSHER D/O MR. SHAMSHER ALI S/O MR. MIR ZAFFAR (ALIAS KO'LEY), KHAN KHEL-YARA KHEL, MARGHUZ, SWABI, MARDAN, N-WFP, PAKISTAN. MOST UNFORTUNATELY I HAVE BEEN BROUGHT UP IN MY VILLAGE (GANVA'RI/PIN'DOOEE) DUE TO OUR UNIMAGINABLY PRECARIOUS SOCIO-ECONOMIC STATUS OF MY IMMEDIATE FAMILY (MY FATHER, MOTHER & JUST NEXT ELDER SISTER). THEREFORE NATURALLY MY EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND IS THE NA LA'`IQ URDU MEDIUM OR RATHER THE KELLY VA'L PUSHTOO (PUKHTOO) MEDIUM (INSTEAD OF THE PRESTIGIOUS ENGLISH MEDIUM) PER EXISTING STATUS SYMBOL IN PAKISTAN (FROM THE VERY BEGINNING & AS YET BEING A PART OF THE FORMER COLONIAL BRITISH INDIA - LIKE THE FORMER BELGIAN, DUTCH, FRENCH, GERMAN, ITALIAN, PORTUGESE, SPANISH ETC. COLONIES IN RELEVANCE TO THEIR FORMER COLONIAL MASTERS). WE ALL HAVE BEEN ALWAYS HABITUAL & PROFESSIONAL BEGGARS. THEREFORE WE ALL HAVE FLOURISHED, THRIVED & DWELLED ON THE CHARTIES ETC. OF OUR CLOSE RELATIVES & THE FLIRTING BUSINESS BASED GIFTS, PRESENTS, FINANCIAL PAYMENTS ETC. OF OUR PROFESSIONAL CLIENTS, FANS ETC. PRESENTLY I AM A LIVE ENTERTAINER/STRIPPER, ACTRESS, MODEL ETC. AT LEEDS, WEST YORKSHIRE, ENGLAND, UK. RECENTLY I HAVE BEEN SELECTED AS A LIVE ENTERTAINER/STRIPPER ETC. FOR THE EXTREMELY CONTROVERSIAL UP-AND-COMING? MANCHESTER'S SUPER-CASINO, MANCHESTER, ENGLAND. I & MY IMMEDIATE FAMILY (MY FATHER, MOTHER & JUST NEXT ELDER SISTER) ARE EXTREMELY ULTRA-LIBERAL-MINDED PERSONS OF THE ULTRA-MODERN ERA ETC. OF THE EXISTING 'TODAY.' (RATHER THAN THE THIRD CLASS ISLAMIC-MINDED ETC. PERSONS OF THE DARK STONE AGES ERA OF THE BY GONE 'YESTERDAY'). WE ALL ARE ALSO ABSOLUTELY ATHEISTS (BUT NEVER EVER MONOTHEISTS OR EVEN POLYTHEISTS). FURTHERMORE WE ALL INFINITELY HATE THE SO CALLED PUKHTOO & PUKHTOON VA'LI OF THE THIRD CLASS PUKHTOON-MINDED PERSONS.
VARIOUS BODIES CLAIM TO HAVE VARIOUS HIGHLY AUTHENTIC & SUBSTANTIAL PROOFS & EVIDENCES REGARDING THE PAST OR PRESENT DEEDS OF MINE & MY IMMEDIATE FAMILY MEMBERS IN RELEVANCE TO OUR ULTRA-LIBERAL-MINDEDNESS (I.E. WE ALL THE MOST HEARD & SPOKEN PERSONS). SO THAT EVERY ONE WHO HAS EVEN AN ULTRA-SLIGHTEST GLIMPSE OF SUCH INFORMATION THEN HE OR SHE DUE TO HIS/HER FANTATIC-MINDEDNESS ALWAYS DEFINITELY CALL ALL OF US 'THE WORLD'S ALWAYS CONTINUING EVER TOP MOST & RECORD BRACKER FAMILY OF THE ULTIMATE PANDERS, CATAMITES, HARLOTS ETC.' BUT THE SIMPLEST REPLY MESSAGE OF ALL OF US FOR THEM & FOR ANY ONE ANY WHERE WHOSOEVER HE/SHE MAY BE (I.E. ALL OF THEM THE MOST UNHEARD & UNSPOKEN INDIVIDUALS) IS THE FOLLOWING MAXIM FROM OUR REGION;
" Shar'm To' Sir'f Shurfa' Ko Ati' Hai - Par Ham To' Phir Bhi Thair'ay Sir'f Banja'ray."
SPECIAL ATTENTION:
BELOW ARE THE FEW HINTS OF A 'TRUE ONGOING SAGA.' WHOSOEVER WILL MAKEOUT THE MOST COMPLETE ACTUAL & REAL STORY FROM THESE HINTS & WILL SEND IT ON THE ZORPIA.COM. HE/SHE WILL DEFINITELY BE AWARDED WITH 'MY 'PRIVATE PURPLE VELVETY SHIELD' & FULL CONTACT DETAILS;
* DISTRICT & TEHSIL SWABI - ** VILLAGE MARGHUZ - *** YARA KHEL TAPPA - **** KHAN KHEL CHAM - **** AHMAD KHEL CHAM - *** MR. MIR ZAFFAR (ALIAS KOLEY) - ***** MR. E ELAHI KHAN GAN'DOO, AVBSOLUTELY FORGED ADVOCATE (VAKIL' SAIB) (THE BEAST/THE LANGOOR) - **** MR. SHAMSHER ALI S/O MR. MIR ZAFFAR (ALIAS KO'LAY) - * TAXI DRIVER FROM VILLAGE ZAIDA - * MRS. SHAISTA (TEACHEROUS AT SCHOOL) - * MISS. NOOR JEHAN SHAMSHER (STAFF NURSE, AMC, RAWALPINDI) - ***** MISS. RASHIDDAH SHAMSHER KO'LEY (BEAUTY/HOOR) (THE FAMOUS GANG RAPE VICTIM OF JUNE 2006) - *** RE-BUILDING OF THE OLD HOUSE OF MR. SHAMSHER ALI - **** 'ABUSE & OSTENTATION' OF THE WHITE CAP FOR THE PRAYERS (NIMAZ) - **** MOBILE TELEPHONE CONVERSATIONS IN THE SPECIFIC STREETS & WANDS ETC. & SAYING, "DARLING! WHATSOEVER I AM DOING IS SOLELY FOR YOU" - **** THE DAILY LOVE TRIPS. **** GROUPS OF SMALL CHILDREN FOLLOWING FROM BEHIND & SHOUTING "TAYLAPON WALA BABA O TAYLAPON WALA BABA" & THEN REPEATING THE ROMANTIC DIALOUGES FROM THE VERY LIPS OF MR. E ELAHI KHAN GAN'DOO, ABSOLUTELY FORGED ADVOCATE (VAKIL' SAIB) (DURING HIS ROUTINE DAILY AFTER NOON TELEPHONIC CONVERSATIONS CUM SPECIFIC STREET WALKS) IN A CHORUS. *****THE SNUBBING OF MR. E ELAHI KHAN GAN'DOO, ABSOLUTE FORGED ADVOCATE (VAKIL' SAIB) BY MR. KASSHIF ALI S/O MR. NIHAR ALI S/O MR. MIR ZAFFAR (FIRST COUSIN OF MISS. RASHIDDAH SHAMSHER) RIGHT AT THE VERY HOUSE OF MR. SHAMSHER ALI ON 07.02.2009!!!! * THE ROLE OF MR. IQBAL IN THIS ENTIRELY ODD SAGA (THE FORMER 'SEAT OCCUPIER' OF MISS. RASHIDDAH SHAMSHER), BALAR KHEL CHAM- YARA KHEL TAPPA, VILLAGE MARGHUZ????
******* BREAKING NEWS - EVEN MISS. RASHIDDAH SHAMSHER HERSELF THREW OUT THE POOR MR. E ELAHI KHAN GANDOO, ABSOLUTELY FORGED ADVOCATE (VAKIL' SAIB) FROM HER HOUSE. THEREFORE NOW MR. E ELAHI KHAN GAN'DOO, ABSOLUTELY FORGED ADVOCATE (VAKIL' SAIB) HAS SERVICED HER UPON WITH A LEGAL NOTICE ABOUT THE INSTITUTION OF A CIVIL LAW SUIT VERSUS HER. THIS WAS FOLLOWING A 'TERRIFIC DRAGONIC TELEPHONIC WAR' BETWEEN MISS. RASHIDDAH SHAMSHER & MRS. S E ELAHI RAN'DI (ALIAS 299 & PETITE III) D/O MR. E ELAHI KHAN GAN'DOO, ABSOLUTELY FORGED ADVOCATE (VAKIL' SAIB) AT THE DIRECTIONS OF MRS. F NIGAR RAN'DI (ALIAS GRAND) W/O MR. E EALHI KHAN GAN'DOO, ABSOLUTELY FORGED ADVOCATE (VAKIL' SAIB)). MR. E ELAHI KHAN GAN'DOO, ABSOLUTELY FORGED ADVOCATE (VAKIL' SAIB) HAS SOME BLOOD RELATOONS WITH THE 'PAPI' (SINNER) FAMILY, GAR MUNARA, TEHSIL & DISTRICT SWABI. THIS NAME WAS BESTOWED & CONFERRED UPON THIS FAMILY BY THE FIRST SIKH EMPIRE (1799-1839) AFTER THE BATTLE OF PIR SABAQ (14.03.1823).
"AIE DUNYAEE VA'LO PAYAR NAAH KARA - ISS 'PAPI' (FAMILY LINK TO PAPYAN, MAHALLAH YARA KHEL, VILLAGE GAR MUNARA, TEHSIL & DISTRICT SWABI) SANSAR NAAH KARNA."
MOST IMPORTANT NOTE:
ADDITIONAL INFORMATION ABOUT ME IS AVAILBLE ON NUMEROUS OTHER WEB SITES INCLUDING THE FACE BOOK, FAN BOX, MY SPACE, NETLOG ETC. ETC.
FEW OTHER LINKS TO NADIA EHSAN:
http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=NADIA+EHSAN&hl=en&start=0&sa=N
POLICY: "(FIRST) NAME THE DOG (01 (ONE) DOG/03 (THREE) BITCHES) & (THEN) KILL HIM (THEM)."
"SO IT WAS WRITTEN - SO IT SHALL BE DONE."
- 語言:PUSHTO, URDU, ENGLISH ETC.
- 興趣愛好:SOLELY THE LOVE MAKING ACTS ETC.
- 俱樂部/組織:MR. ABRAR GAN'DOO S/O A DEAD BITCH, BA, LLM (HIT LISTED TOO *), VILLAGE MUNJAIEE, DISTRICT LOWER DIR, MALAKAND DIVISION, N-WFP, PAKISTAN [LEEDS, WEST YORKSHIRE, ENGLAND, UK].
- 喜歡的書:GUIDELINES & MANUAL OF THE LOVE MAKING ACTS ETC.
- 喜歡的音樂:POP ETC.
- 喜歡的電視節目:THE SEX & THE CITY.
- 喜歡的電影:MURDER (INDIAN).
- 旅行過的地方:THE UNITED KINGDOM.
- 我在尋找:AN ULTRA-LIBERAL-MINDED ETC. MAN OR WOMAN. HE OR SHE MUST BE ABSOLUTELY ATHEIST (BUT NEVER EVER MONOTHEIST OR EVEN POLYTHEIST). FURTHERMORE HE OR SHE MUST BE RESIDING IN THE UNITED KINGDOM.
工作經歷
- LIVE ENTERTAINMENT., MR. ARSLAN, SHOW BUSINESS CO. (PVT) LTD. UK. [ 2006 - Present ]
- LIVE ENTERTAINMENT, MR. ARSLAN & MR. ABRAR ENTERTAINMENTS CO. (PVT) LTD., UK [ 2006 - Present ]
- MARDAN, MR. ASAD KHAN 'MANI,' SHOW BUSINESS CO. (PVT) LTD. [ 2000 - 2006 ]
