6cBixiee的主頁

moving on since 2006/2007

Sat, 06 Jun 2009 16:06 EST

life has changed dramatically...n i never ever wud of thought that my life wud be at this stage rite now...i have been ups n downs...the high n the lows...n i finally learned to move on...although memories are still flowing thru my mind...all those happi n sad, those that hurt, those that made me smile, made me laugh...everything...i have learned to move on...cos time will not wait for me, i have to move on with time n just live life with no regrets. easier said than done i guess but it has to be done, no matter how hard the road is ahead of me, there shud be hope.

i have to admit...i am deeply thankful to the bbc forum which totally brought me out of my misery. thanks to knowing yeeling, which then led on to meeting my new crew of chinese frenz in bristol, adam, andy, rachel n leo. u 5 are the most important frenz in my life, although we not be in much contact n it may not seem that way, deep in my heart, in my memory, i love u guys so much. not sure how this might sound to other ppl, but if u are my true frenz am sure u will understand why ur big name is not listed above. the 5 special frenz above are the first chinese i met in bristol thru which of course led me to meet even more. n now i have countless frenz in bristol, whether close or not, we've had our fun n without those time, the time in bristol wud of been hard to get thru. although of course 1st priority was our books...NOT...hehe

montpelier had to be the best time of my life in bristol...being able to live with my closest frenz. go to uni together, finish uni together, catching the bus together, walking to town, cooking, eating...everything we did...even cleaning was more fun...how sad but thats how u guys affect me...doing the worst job was made fun because of u...i love all my frenz n i cherish all of u in different ways...it may not seem like it...but u are all put in my heart safely foreva. cannot image life without u.

...

Sun, 20 May 2007 15:13 EST

its been a long long while...n so much has changed since then...i cant believe wot life is like now...seems not very long but yet it seems so long...i dun even no wot i am saying...some stuff i wanna say but dunno how to express...just the changes have not been 100% positive...we shud not judge people by outside...mayb outside i am strong n happi...but deep inside who knows but me...but i no i am a crap actress...but i may have moved on from that step now...

within the past few months i have lost n gained...but i am hurt from wot i have lost...but i appreciate wot i have gained...but wot i gained cannot replace wot i lost...sum times i wish i cud do things all over again...start fresh...mayb have a brainwash...forget who i am...my past etc...n start fresh as a blank piece of paper...do wot i want as long as people around me n i are happi...i may be selfish to think this but i just dun understand things sum time...i fought i use to b the luckiest gurl ever...but one lost led on to another...mayb i am being selfish to blame this but i just wish sum things cud be normal...i hate w0t i am going thru rite now...

...MeRrY kiSsMaS...

Sun, 24 Dec 2006 18:52 EST

harlo all on zorpia...wishing you all a very merry kwistmas & a new year full of surprises and success...wishing u all the best...have a great xmas & a fab year 2007

Delta Goodrem - Lost Without You

Mon, 27 Nov 2006 10:14 EST

I know I can be a little stubborn sometimes
A little righteous and too proud
I just want to find a way to compromise
Cos I believe that we can work things out

I thought I had all the answers never giving in
But baby since you've gone I admit that I was wrong

All I know is I'm lost without you I'm not gonna lie
How my going to be strong without you I need you by my side
If we ever say we'll never be together
and we ended with goodbye don't know what I'd do ...I'm
lost without you
I keep trying to find my way but all I know is I'm lost without you
I keep trying to face the day I'm lost without you

How my ever gonna get rid of these blues
Baby I'm so lonely all the time
Everywhere I go I get so confused
You're the only thing that's on my mind

Oh my beds so cold at night and I miss you more each day
Only you can make it right no I'm not too proud to say

All I know is I'm lost without you I'm not gonna lie
How my going to be strong without you I need you by my side
If we ever say we'll never be together and
we ended with goodbye don't know what I'd do ...I'm
lost without you
I keep trying to find my way but all I know is I'm lost without you
I keep trying to face the day I'm lost without you

...

Thu, 16 Nov 2006 07:14 EST

people say in uni u get the deepest, greatest memory...i agree...the memory of the sweet, sour, bitter, spicy...tasted all dat...yeh n now dat i have...maybe i can move on...with or without people...i aint gonna choose who to move on with ne more...whoever does does...whoever doesnt...BYEBYE...!!!

...

Mon, 13 Nov 2006 19:17 EST

soooooooo bloody freaky...suddenly recieving loadsa text n they're all from the past 2days...this is so weird...it just keeps on coming??? wot the hell happened o2??? as rachel n benny says...WOT THE HELL???

...

Fri, 13 Oct 2006 19:42 EST

its 1:36am...feel like i just been stabbed in the heart...at this moment i feel so insecure...nothing is going good...i really hate this feeling...wot can i do to make myself feel better?

feels like to date i aint really sure who my frenz are...its for me to decide...but who? i dunno...cant even answer my own questions...i guess it is true to say that true frenz are hard to find...to me its extremely...mayb my past best fren was my sister...since she was the one i can turn to when i am unhappi n when i am confused about my emotions...i can talk to her n she will understand me whether or not i can give her an explanation of why i am sad...but since she now in HK to work...i have lost my best fren...i dunno who to turn to...as a result...i feel like my character is changing dramatically...i dont like the new me...i really wanna change myself...not physically...just the beki inside...the way she thinks...mayb if she didnt make things so complicated then life wud be so much more easier n smooth...why can i not enjoy life to the full...since u only live once...

...

Wed, 04 Oct 2006 17:39 EST

2day...2day...2day...just another ordinary day...wish it cud be filled wiv more life...am i a gud actress or summin...tend to look happi when deep inside she is unsure...the usually very organised...or at least the beki who LIKES to be organised isnt so very organised these days...seems like her shell is in reality but her spirit has floated off to god knows where...mind is constantly finding summin to fink of otherwise it will only automatically drift to the same person... >_< only 79 days till i see u...am counting down the days...

todays mood report

Wed, 27 Sep 2006 16:38 EST

today is windy n cloudy...lots of stuff going thru mind...am finking i shud open up n see more of the world...agree???

...

Tue, 15 Aug 2006 22:37 EST

my mood has been unstable...just dunno wot is going on in my little head...too much for me to handle i can say...just wish i can let everything off my shoulder so dat i can feel free...even though i am on holiday...wot is it that is actually capturing my mind??? god knows...beki knows nothing...feel like a blanket sheet of paper...waiting to be written on...giving me instrcutions...telling me wot to do...cos i dun no ne more...feel like my life has no more sense of direction...all i no is i wanna get thru ma last yr of uni n get a damn degree (FULL STOP) n then wot...i dont no...mayb its a surprise for the future...or the fact that i dun no is hinting that i shud be finking about it from now until i graduate...life is long...so many paths n different things we must experience...i have yet a lot of that for me to experience i no...i no we have to meet different situations n go thru them in order to grow up...i dun fink i can do dat yet...i am 20...but my inside tells me i am still thinking n acting like a kid in some ways...who is the one to help me grow up n be the beki that i am meant to be???in films people always say to the one who thinks they are hopeless n wanna die that everyone lives for a purpose...so wot is my purpose then??? or are the answers only found in films...n not in reality???

my memory...

Wed, 09 Aug 2006 20:26 EST

等多天當暑假尚未完等一天拖手去到校園
約定你在班房觀看維園就快望見
很誇張這暑假特別長太心癢重複清新印象
約定你在佈滿了自信的球場與你打仗
天台公開曬日記台底寫滿了驚喜
放假去讓秘密儲起在校門鐵閘記低約定炎夏裡嬉戲

原來暑天不想分開放大假何時班房之中拖手過仲夏
缺少你的暑假還有樂趣嗎長假亦變可怕
原來一起溫書等於去渡假球場喝啖熱汗也像冰茶
夏天的高空噴上塗鴉 懷念上學嗎???

...

Thu, 03 Aug 2006 19:32 EST

hello frenz...really missing uk rite now...this holiday in hk has been too long, yet too short...its funni...hard to explain...part of me wish i cud be bk in uk...missing my frenz bk at home...cant wait to get bk n reunite wiv u guys...hehe...wud be fun...hope everything is going well for all of ya out there...gud or bad...life goes on...so be happi and look on the positive side always...am writing it here to remind myself as well...sum times stuff is easy said than done...gAM bA dER woteva life faces...its a test that will only make us stronger...*i hope* well well...ne wayz...hope my frenz...near or far will keep in contact wiv me sumhow...i wanna no how ur all getting along...things will be so quiet n different when i go back to bristol now...missing my frenz who wont be there this yr...but i shud be happi cos u guys are moving on wiv ur life onto a whole new level...bEST oF lUCK to all of ya...be happi...have a happi face always...in the gud time or bad...*errm...dunno wot me talking bout now...keke*

yeh me out now...LUV YA!!! *CHU CHU* ^_^

-^^-

Sat, 29 Jul 2006 11:25 EST

although i have recieved gud news n no i have passed my 2nd yr...it is just so sad dat my bro has now left me n ma sis in hk n returned bk to uk on thursday nite...really miss him...although i no dat i will c him in a months time when i go back...missing sum1 is just so hard...really keeps u down and the waiting for summin is just so fustrating...u expect summin but if u dun see it u get disappointed...really annoying...ne how lucky beki...got myself a new fone recently, n also managed to bump into an actor...an old one...the moment i saw him i was like hmm...i've seen him b4...then 2nd look i was like oh my god its...err...not sure of his name...haha...but those of u in hk...he will be on the 15/16 show on monday nite...haha...u can tell me in return who he is then...keke...also saw 廖碧兒 in mong kok...oh my god...she was really nice...n tall...ho c mo... >_< so happi but cudnt take ne nice pic of her wiv ma new camera damn it....err...yeh i no i sound childish running to catch a pic of artist etc...but i dun come to hk often...sure hk ppl here wont recognise this weirdo...keke...hmm...feeling like i am wasting time in hk...most of the time i spend on my own at home just watching LOST...its well addictive...n sleeping till midday b4 waking up...spending my money in mong kok cos its the cheapest place i can find n basically no my way round...i wanna see the outside of hk...not just go to the same places everytime...just no chance...if i go myself i no i'll just get lost n fustrated...

...

Sat, 08 Jul 2006 22:59 EST

WOOHOO!!! found out ma results...n hearing me shouting n screaming of course me have passed...hehe...am so happi...just hoping they not given me the wrong results now...hehe...hope u all passed as well...c u back in UK...luving u guys...!!! xxx

今天我生日

Sat, 03 Jun 2006 07:20 EST

今天我生日誰耐不耐心都要聽候我呻吟...
今天我生日誰熟不熟都相信我是個好人...來接受禮物
今天我是神今天理論上我最易開心...
今天我是神今天發任何夢也缺陷
今天我是神今天我為朋友製造開心...
今天我是神今天你是奴隸我是主人

Happy Chinese Birthday To mE!!!